Page 39

Gwyn stood in the near darkness while overlooking her sleeping son as he lay upon the ground only a short distance away.

While he had been amazingly brave for one of his age, the exhaustion of the trail had finally overwhelmed him.

He now slept soundly and was oblivious to all around him. And she was relieved for it.

They had traveled hard on this day and with the exception of the final glances over her shoulder of the raging battle at the Chattan, all had been surprisingly quiet. Perhaps it was because they kept to the less traveled ways that they had encountered no one.

Gwyn watched as Donnan approached her in the night as he now stood quietly beside her. Slowly, he reached forward to inspect the upper section of her arm.

"My lady, you are injured."

Gwyn smiled wryly, nearly forgetting she had been wounded by an arrow. There was so much other pain within her heart and upon her mind, this injury was so inconsequential. She admitted nothing of her own situation mattered to her.

"'Tis nothing and merely a scratch. Donnan, based on how you were prepared, I have a feeling you knew they would attack yet you did nothing to stop it? Why could you not at least tell me so I could have been a bit more prepared?"

Donnan stared down at Gwyn with sadness, understanding her anger and fear but knowing he had done what was appropriate. Slowly, he grasped of her arm. When she did not pull away, he rolled up her sleeve to gain a better understanding of her injury. Only then did he speak.

"My lady, all that we have done to this point was with good reason.

The unrest of the lands has been present for a long time and the division of the Chattan clearly understood by all.

Even the Laird Errol knew that much. Why do you think he asked for Iver and the rest of us to come?

He knew there were problems among his own and he was concerned.

It appears in recent times he simply lost the will to fight for them all on his own. "

"But why did you not at least tell me? I could have been better prepared and you know you can trust me."

Donnan paused briefly in his task of winding a clean cloth around Gwyn's injured arm as he looked deeply into her eyes.

"Our silence was to protect you, my lady.

We understood the less you knew the safer you would be.

We also knew nothing for certain. So many of our fears were based upon small observations and speculation.

Even after I had been stripped of my rank and allowed to move freely among the lowest of those in the holdings, the clansmen of the Chattan still did not trust in me enough to disclose the truth. Not all of them, anyway."

"It pains me, Donnan that you took the blame for training Durell.

It was very noble of you, but you should not have spoken.

It aggrieved me so to see how the Laird Errol dishonored you and how you were made to perform the duties of the lowest of men.

If you only would have remained silent, I would have willingly taken the blame and the laird would not have done anything to me.

At least nothing as humiliating as he had done to you. "

Gwyn pursed her lips together as the memory of the lie she allowed her laird to know permeated her mind.

Even though the laird was now gone, she knew she must disclose to Donnan what he had presumed.

While her husband had very few visitors before he died, she did not have a clear understanding of what he may have shared with others nor how long he had surmised what he had known.

Donnan deserved to hear of this because if he ever returned to the Chattan holdings, that knowledge could be dangerous for him.

"Donnan, there is much in which I must disclose to you.

It was something my husband assumed and the reasoning behind all his anger on that horrid night he died.

I have told no one and it was only Philomena who witnessed all that had occurred.

What saddens me the most is that I did not set him straight.

I in essence, lied to him for the sake of another. "

Gwyn lowered her head in shame as she spoke while the tears prickled within her eyes.

"Laird Errol saw me kiss you when we were exiting the stables on that one evening a while ago. Then, when I returned late to my room on that…that…night, he was so angry. Donnan, he thought I had lain with you ."

"What did you tell him?"

The words were spoken in earnest and when Gwyn lifted her eyes to his in confusion to his reaction, she saw a fleeting look of almost panic.

"I am so sorry. I was so fearful for Iver and all that I knew he was trying to accomplish. I felt so strongly that I needed to protect him so I did not deny anything the laird had accused. I let him believe I was with you."

Gwyn could no longer look into his face as she dropped her eyes in near disgust for her actions.

"I felt it my duty to protect Iver. I know in my heart he is a good and strong leader. I know deep inside he is the only one that can save the Chattan and make their lives better. He appears to be their only hope."

As Gwyn looked down at her twisting fingers, the tears burned within her eyes. There was no doubt that if this knowledge ever surfaced, it could mean Donnan's life.

"How can I make this decision for you and place you in such a predicament? I am sickened by my actions!"

She stood in silence and felt of his hand while Donnan raised her chin. His face had softened yet his eyes were determined.

"You have done your duty well, my lady. And you chose right. At all costs, we have to protect Iver and even sometimes from himself."

"But it was as if I were placing a higher price upon Iver's life than on yours! I am so sorry and did not mean-"

"No, my lady, you did as you must. Iver has such a difficult road before him, he could not take the risk to incite more anger nor allow any other reasoning for dissention.

That is one of the reasons I am taking you back to the MacLaren.

He needs time to take control and gain the trust of those Chattan around him. "

Donnan sighed heavily as he drew in his breath thinking upon the next words he knew he would say. While Iver had not spoken his full intentions aloud, he knew him better than anyone.

"I also know of his heart. With the times being as they are, he would worry for your safety every moment of every day if you were anywhere near. And you would not be safe there. Nor would your son."

Gwyn felt the warmth of Donna's words and knew she could not have been wrong in her convictions. She loved Iver and would do anything to protect him as she knew he would do for her.

Slowly, Gwyn moved her gaze to the child who lay sleeping upon the ground.

Her heart burst with love for this young lad and warmed with the pride of her duty.

She conceded she had done well and now she would bring the future leader of the MacLaren home even though the man before her knew not of his rightful lineage.

Gwyn wished so desperately she had a right to disclose all of her secrets to Iver and to this man who stood so loyally before her.

With the exception of Durell, more then anyone, they had a right to know.

She also realized for the MacLaren's sake alone, she was bound to her secrecy.

When they would reveal this confidence, she had no idea.

It may be months or even years, but her father would be the one to decide when it was appropriate.

After that time had been determined, she would finally be free of all these deceptions.

Only then would Gwyn be granted the reprieve to unburden her heart, so she would be able to finally live her own life again. Or at least, that is what she truly hoped.