Page 47

It was late in the afternoon and Gwyn was restless.

More than anything, she sought the comfort only fresh air and sunshine would provide.

She also longed for nothing more than a piece of solitude.

Much was upon her mind as of late and she found herself anxious and uncertain.

She was not ready to speak of her newfound discovery. At least not to her family as of yet.

When she discovered Durell along with Enya in the kitchens contentedly munching on some fresh bread, she took her chance to escape.

Across the upper bailey she went and beyond the stables.

She did not stop as she crossed the grassy field that flanked the great keep.

She continued to walk until she came to stand upon a slight knoll overlooking a beautiful valley.

It was her valley and the one she had come to cherish.

The grass was long as it blew in the wind, moving gracefully as if bowing before her.

It was here she stopped to reflect upon all she had come to know.

For long moments, Gwyn looked out across the lands of the MacLaren and thought deeply of her life thus far.

She nearly laughed into the wind admitting how naive she had been ten years ago when she left to fulfill her duty.

She thought she had been such a mature woman and knew much of the world.

She had once assumed because of the tragedies touching their lives, she was prepared to face anything.

"Oh, I had been so very wrong!"

Even if she knew those many years ago what she knew now, she was quite unsure if she would have changed anything.

Gwyn would still have willingly elected to complete her duty and marry the Laird Errol. She had a fierce understanding she would not have altered her course during the raising of Durell and she acknowledged she was exceedingly proud of who he was turning out to be.

Mostly, she knew she would never change the time she had spent with Iver.

While she had known him only a few months and her time had been cut way too short, he had left her with a lasting impression.

He had shown her she was worthy of a man's love and her heart would be grateful for all of eternity for that one small allotment.

"Oh, Iver. I only wish-"

As the slight cool breeze picked up around her, she wrapped her arms about her body.

She pressed one hand on her shoulder and the other upon her stomach.

She thought about the memories of the love she and Iver had shared.

There were not as many as she would have liked, but they were powerful and would grace her mind and her dreams forever.

However, it was the child she now knew that was growing inside of her that captured her heart and brought a new purpose to her life.

"What would you think if you knew?"

As the tears for the gift he had given her began to slowly trail down her cheeks, Gwyn was startled by a heavy hand upon her shoulder.

She drew in her breath and turned abruptly to find Donnan standing next to her.

With no words spoken, she leaned into his large frame as he placed his arm comfortingly across her shoulders.

For long moments, they stood in silence appreciating the simple calm they brought to one another. Eventually, it was Donnan who spoke quietly.

"Does your mother know yet?"

Gwyn smiled as she shook her head in amazement at his perceptive nature. With tenderness, the one whom she had deemed friend, tightened his embrace slightly.

"No. I did not think anyone knew. But you surprise me, yet again, my dear friend. Sometimes, Donnan, I think you know me better than I do myself."

He chuckled at her remark not daring to make a reply.

"Donnan, when will you leave?"

"Leave, my lady?"

"We both know you cannot stay her forever. I am long over needing your protection and I think your duty to Iver has quite passed."

As the sadness darkened her eyes, she turned to gaze into his face as he spoke.

"I cannot leave, my lady. Although you do not realize it, you do need me."

"Donnan, please…"

"Marry me."

Gwyn nearly cried out in anguish hearing the words he had just spoken.

This man who had been by her side during the happiest and then the most horrific times in her life could not be asking her what she had just heard.

Yes, he was the one who had been her strong foundation and the one who had most likely saved her from herself.

But no, she would not believe he had just spoken those words.

As a single tear slipped down her cheek, Gwyn responded.

"Donnan, you know I cannot."

"Why, my lady?"

"Because you do not love me."

When Donnan gazed down at Gwyn with a shock upon his face and what she deemed as sadness encasing his eyes, Gwyn continued.

"Donnan, you more than anyone know I could never love anyone as I loved Iver.

He will always be within my heart until the day I die.

You must understand you mean more to me then I can ever say, but I would never trap anyone in a loveless marriage.

I have lived it and I have seen too much to ever allow this to happen again. It would not be fair to either of us."

Quietly, Donnan drew the Lady Gwyn into his arms as he held her in a gentle embrace. He had strongly suspected this is what she would say but he knew he had needed to speak the words and offer himself to her. His commitment to the Lady Gwyn was stronger than even he had ever known.

Together, they stood holding one another all the while both understanding within their hearts the words she had spoken were true. He released her slightly as he drew back once again to gaze onto her face.

"But you need protection!"

"From whom? Even though I was married, I have been alone all of my life.

I have raised one child by myself and I think I did an adequate job.

And I will raise this one with more love and support then I ever had within the Chattan.

While you may not believe me, I am stronger than ever and will rise above all the grief that has come my way. But I had only wished…"

"Wished what, my lady?"

"I had thought…I had hoped…"

"Just say it, my lady. You obviously need something from me and all you need to do is ask and it is done. Do you not already know this?"

"Donnan, I had hoped it was Enya who you loved.

I have seen the look in her eyes when you are near and I had hoped you felt the same.

Please tell me, do you love her? Do not tell me what you think I want to hear.

You must tell me the truth because I would never allow her to marry someone who does not love her desperately. "

"Desperately and more than life itself?"

"Yes, Donnan, that is the only way. I would not want it for her or for you, if it is anything less."

"Then the answer is, yes, my lady. As much as I cannot leave your side for the duty that is mine, I am unable to leave hers for the love that I have within my heart. I would lay down my life for her."

Gwyn turned into the arms of the most caring man she had ever had the chance to know. The one who she knew had saved her life and would now bestow upon her a most precious gift. For one day, she was certain he would become her brother.