Page 26 of High Stakes and Soulmates (Fanged Mistakes #3)

EZIO

“So Cyrus is like… off with the man of his dreams. I know it. He said it was extremely platonic, so that means that it’s probably the man he’s ultra in love with, and he’s going to spend the night with him and be like, ‘Damn, you are fine . Ezio is significantly less fine.’ And then I’m going to get tossed to the bottom of the food chain, you know?

It’s just not fair. Do you know how not fair it is? Very not fair,” I say. “You get me?”

Julian merely grumbles at me, which obviously means “I get you.”

“I just… am I being too needy? Do you think I’m needy?”

Julian grumbles some more, as though he has something better to do. I mean, what’s better than this?

“You’re right, but I’m trying to play it cool in front of him. I’m just ranting to you because you’re such a good listener and always give the best advice. And the advice you’re giving right now is that I should buy Cyrus something that will blow him the fuck away, right?”

Julian growls about that.

“Too much? Maybe… Your pacing is making me feel like you’re not getting it,” I say.

I stick my fingers through the crate the werewolf is currently walking circles in and boop his nose.

He snaps his fangs at me in response, driven wild by the moon, but he’s just so cute and such a good listener that I don’t even care that he won’t remember any of this.

Honestly, I can ramble all I want and he can’t complain at all, so it’s definitely a win.

“Why are you pestering my wolf?” Casimir asks when he comes into the room. And even though werewolves have no control of themselves during a full moon, this werewolf is immediately fixated on Casimir.

It’s like even when he loses all control, he only has eyes for Casimir, and that’s so irritatingly romantic.

“Because you said you wouldn’t listen to my woes. Who else was I going to tell them to? Unless you do want to hear them?”

“I’d rather not.”

“Cyrus is running off with a man tonight,” I say.

“I heard. I also heard where you said that he told you it was platonic… do you need a dictionary to look that up? I wouldn’t mind smacking you with one,” Casimir declares.

“Sounds vicious and uncalled for.”

“What else is uncalled for is your inability to listen to people. When Cyrus says it’s platonic, why don’t you believe him?”

“I don’t even know what you’re talking about. Nonsense, of course.”

“Of course,” Casimir says with much sarcasm.

“You think it’s nonsense too, don’t you?” I ask Julian.

He growls in a “Totally nonsense” way. Clearly, he understands me and is willing to side with me instead of that atrocious man.

There’s a knock on the door, and I’m shocked when Casimir happily goes, “Come in.”

Yorick comes bounding in, all smiles. “Good evening, my lovely pals. My bestest of friends. I was rather bored, and when I’m bored, I tend to wander over here. What are you two up to?”

“Just sitting with Julian and telling him my woes,” I admit.

Julian growls out his answer of what he’s up to. It’s rather dramatic and long-winded.

“Julian says he’s bored and wants to play,” Casimir announces, locking the door to the room. It’s said in a very creepy way. It’s how I feel a serial killer would say it before sending their victims off into the woods where they will chase and hunt them.

Yorick’s eyes narrow as he looks from the locked door back to the crate.

Evidently, he’s starting to understand why Casimir was so eager to invite him inside.

“Is he now? He looks quite content,” Yorick says when Casimir opens the crate.

Julian slowly moves out, eyes fixated on Yorick while he creeps toward him.

“Ha… ha ha… Puppers… the way you’re looking at me… it’s rather cute but also rather not.”

Julian’s crouched down as he stalks toward Yorick while Casimir beams at him.

“Ha… Casimir… I feel like maybe the puppers should stay in his pupper rage cage? Yeah? I do have to agree with myself. Ezio?”

“Spending hundreds of years with Casimir has taught me that he’s going to do what he wants to do. And what he wants to do is cause the most harassment to others,” I assure Yorick as Julian lunges at him. Yorick is faster and outruns him, but Julian is now just chasing him around the tiny room.

Casimir is grinning when he looks over at me. “Do we want to place bets?”

“On what? Whether or not Julian bites him?” I ask.

“I would prefer hugs, not bites! Puppers, please. Doesn’t that sound delightful?” Yorick asks as he jumps on top of Julian’s cage. Julian is now circling around it like a shark waiting for the right opportunity to strike.

“I was wondering why you so excitedly let him in the room,” I say.

“Yorick is having fun, aren’t you, Yorick? What’s more fun, playing tag with your friends or sitting at home alone?” Casimir asks.

“I do have to admit this is more fun. Being home is rather boring and lonely. I’m not a fan of boring or lonely. And if I’m going to dress up and look this good, then I insist someone see it!” he says as Julian leaps up and Yorick hops off the other side.

“Ha… you are too slow, you adorable thing! Are those fluffy little feet only for prancing?”

“I’d be careful throwing jabs at him,” I warn.

“Oh, he doesn’t mind, do you?—”

And that’s when Julian leaps forward and bites Yorick right in the ass. He doesn’t seem interested in letting go, either, as he puts on the brakes and starts trying to drag Yorick back.

“Puppers, that’s my bum! Please, I know it’s a very nice bum, but it’s not for you,” he says. “Ezio, my dear friend. Help me.”

I hurry over and unhinge Julian’s jaws to free Yorick, but Julian slips through my fingers and pounces on Yorick, knocking him off balance, which results in him crashing to the ground.

Then Julian grabs Yorick’s leg and drags him over to Casimir like a hunting dog retrieving a duck, and it’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.

“Did… did he just give him to you? He’s so proud. Look at him,” I say.

Julian’s head snaps around to face me, like his pile-of-bodies offering isn’t large enough to show off to his mate.

“No, no,” I protest, but he starts stalking me just as my phone rings. When I glance down at it, hoping it’s Cyrus, I see that it’s Maeve. I’m not sure she’s ever called me.

“Well… that’s concerning… I wonder if there’s another body and since Cyrus is out, she’s calling me,” I say. “Hello?”

“Can you come into the department?” Maeve asks as Casimir scoops up Julian. He throws a bit of a fit but immediately calms down in his arms.

“Sure… what’s going on?”

“I’ll explain once you’re here,” she says.

“Okay, I’ll be there in fifteen.”

“Great. Thank you.”

“I guess I’m going. Yorick, are you staying?” I ask the man who is still playing dead in front of Casimir.

He perks up. “I’m going with you! It sounds fun!”

“Does it?”

“Delightful! Sorry, puppers. I must take my leave. You be a good boy, you hear me?”

“Lock the door behind you and please double-check it,” Casimir requests.

“I will,” I say as I hit the lock and swing the door shut behind us. I double-check that it locked before the two of us head down the stairs and out to my car.

“Can I drive it?”

“No. No one is allowed to drive my precious,” I explain.

“You let Julian drive your last one.”

“And he drove it up onto a curb. He tried destroying it.”

“Yeah, but in all my years I’ve only destroyed six cars.”

“That’s a lot!”

“I’m quite old!”

“It doesn’t matter how old you are, cars have only been around for so long! I’ve only wrecked one and it wasn’t my fault! You didn’t even say you got into six accidents. You said you destroyed six.”

“Tomatoes, to-mah-toes.”

“No. The answer is no.”

“Ridiculous,” Yorick complains as he gets into the car.

We drive to the department before heading inside. I don’t even get to greet anyone before Maeve is on me. She takes note of Yorick and gives him a smile.

“Evening, Yorick.”

“Such a pleasure!” he says as he proceeds to kiss her hand, which simply results in her being horribly confused.

“I have some… information on the case. Is he okay to join?” she asks me.

“Yeah, he’s fine. Or at least I think he is. Sometimes he’s rather suspicious, but I think that’s just in general, not in relation to any case. Honestly, he could be evil and just fooling everyone…”

“I would make a sexy evil guy,” Yorick decides as he rubs his chin in thought. “I think I’d wear my hair down for that, though.” He pulls his hair out so it falls around his face and then tosses a smolder at us. “Thoughts?”

“I see,” Maeve says, clearly understanding.

“You see it too? Thank you. Me too.” And then he happily follows after us as Maeve gives me a nod, like she understands why I think he’s safe to talk around, while Yorick assumes she’s all in about him wearing his hair down for the ultimate bad guy look.

She leads us into a room and shuts the door.

“Nothing happened with Cyrus, right?” I ask, assuming she’d have started with that if it had.

“No! Of course not. So I heard you got a nosebleed when one of our detectives hit you in the face with the door?”

“I did. I’ve never seen someone open a door with such enthusiasm.”

“Well… the tech proceeded to not clean up the blood properly, and the DNA was run on it by another person who wasn’t aware of what had happened.

It wasn’t until I saw the location of the swabbed blood that I realized that it wasn’t that the killer had dripped blood on the way out, it was that you had bled on the porch,” she says.

“It’s not a big deal, I haven’t been condemned of too many crimes,” I tease, knowing that, especially for a vampire, my record is quite clean.

Well… besides the one time they threw me in jail for throwing a police car, but I realized later that no one actually arrested me and when Cyrus simply showed me the cell, I let myself in.

I will do anything to please my sweet Cyrus.

“Right… did you realize that you never made a record for yourself? When we did this years ago and started recording all vampires… you were the only vampire not recorded.”