Page 146 of Hidden

Was it even possible to faint right now?

“It’s not your fault,” he whispered in my ear. “No one is going to blame you.”

The force of his words resonated through me. Both humiliation and fear warred for dominance. He sounded so certain—he’d been looking through my memories.

What did he see?

“Julian?” I was almost afraid to ask.

“Miles helped me,” he explained, his hands rubbing circles on my back. “I searched only for the memories to help you pull out of this. It’s something your subconsciousness wanted to communicate but couldn’t.”

That didn’t make me feel any better, and I pressed my cheek against his chest. His heartbeat echoed loudly against my ear—he was nervous. Possibly more than me. It was that knowledge which steadied my emotions.

When I didn’t respond, he continued, his voice unsure. “We saw a scene where Alyssa met you and went over some rules.” He paused, but only briefly. “Then we saw what happened that night, with the water demon.”

“That’s what it was?” I felt numb again. “I wasn’t sure.”

“It was a kappa, technically,” Julian responded. “This particular one was a cross between a water demon and one that collected children. It probably had another contract elsewhere. It would lure children to their deaths and eat their souls. You broke out of his spell, which even beingyou, was unheard of. No one has ever escaped.”

“So, she really is gone.” I’d never seen her after that day, so I’d always assumed. “She’s been eaten.”

His movements slowed, and his voice was soft. “Possibly,” he answered, and I was thankful he wouldn’t lie. “But we didn’t see what happened after the demon left. Was there anything else?”

I shook my head, pressing my face into his chest.

I would never forget that night. I watched the water for what felt like forever. And it wasn’t until the moon was high before Kieran came rushing to my side.

He’d only been that angry on one other occasion.

“I’m still mad at you,” I muttered, my thoughts distracted.

“I’m sorry, but it’s been two days,” Julian said. “You weren’t getting any better. Gregory has been told who you are, and he and Bryce were on the verge of taking you to the hospital—or to Whisperwind, your family’s home. We were trying to think of anything we could do to prevent that. It was becoming a life-or-death situation.”

I shivered. Thehospital? Waking up there would have killed me.

And even if I had pulled myself out of this, they would want to know what happened. I wasn’t even sure I could put my experience into words.

So really, this was a safe, logical fix. I’d even given Julian permission to jump into my memories before, sort of. Yet it was so hard to move forward.

“I’m still mad”—my resolve had weakened—“but I’ll get over it.”

I should be used to disappointment. Nobody was perfect, not even these men. It made sense I’d get hurt eventually. Maybe it wasn’t on purpose, but I couldn’t stop how I felt.

Julian swallowed and his frame trembled. “Bianca—”

“I don’t care anymore,” I lied, pushing against his chest. “Let’s go back.”

“Bianca, I’m sorry.” He sounded tortured. But was he really? They had wanted to know about my past. “We didn’t know what else to do. Look at me, please.”

His voice pulled at me, and I glanced up, opening myself for whatever he might have to say. I was so tired of fighting.

If we were going to be stuck together for the rest of our lives, I would have to talk to him at some point. So, really, there was no harm in hearing him out.

But when my gaze locked with Julian’s, everything around us faded.

A shiver shot down my spine, and a hundred thousand feelings washed over me.

Julian’s emotions.