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Fuck my life. How could Titus stand this?

“Damen’s dad pushes him to learn new things. To not rely on his past. We’ll only recollect a few pieces of the languages we’ve known before. Our first life is the most powerful.” I was trying not to breathe, but it wasn’t working. “Nobody else cares what we study though. I’ve taken both FrenchandChinese. Julian took Chinese. Titus studied…” My words trailed off, as I tried to recall what he’d decided on. Titus was creepy, and was an overachiever. He focused on so many different things that I usually ignored him.

Wasn’t he finishinganotherdoctorate? Geology?

Show-off.

“What did Titus study?” she asked.

“He took Spanish, this time…” I muttered. “But he’s studied other languages too. He says it’s fun. I think he knows Arabic, Japanese, and he has a weird obsession with ancient Egyptian hieroglyphics.”

“He studies languagesfor fun?” Bianca choked. “Whodoesthat?”

“Weird people,” I muttered. “Overachievers.” Hadn’t she realized yet that Titus was a nerd? Where did she think he spent most of his time? If he wasn’t dealing with business, he was either ripping apart mechanics and putting them back together, or was holed up in the library,studying.

Julian studied because he wanted to be a doctor. And while I spent a lot of time in the library, it wasn’t forfun. When I studied, it was a means to an end. I had a plan.

My environmental advocacy firm wasn’t going to start itself. It was my responsibility to start a movement in this life, to change the world.

But that was for work. And Titus wasn’t normal. He was obsessed.

Normalpeople found enjoyment in the simple pleasures of life.

What was better than taking a meditative journey to soak in the light of the full moon?

Then there was gardening—feeling the freshly turned earth beneath your hands. To work with the life there, and pride in seeing your seedlings come to life. Harvesting herbs, and allowing the medicinal and magical energies to wash over you.

The last was an activity I’d always shared with Mu.

Then there was cooking. The feeling of satisfaction of creating something entirely from scratch.

Mu had always been a good assistant chef. Of course Bianca would be the same.

What else was fun?

Relaxing by a summer’s brook. Allowing the cool water to wash over my bare feet as I worked on my grimoire. Or, even better, read. Reading was supposed to be a pleasurable activity.

Non-fiction rarely held any interest for me. Early fiction on the other hand? We all had our favorite genres. Mine personally though, I could never tell another soul. Not even Mu.

They would never understand Andreina Bellini, and the heart-wrenching realness of mindful erotica.Sinful Responsewas a masterpiece beyond compare. Just the thought of being alone with my secret library caused my heart to race.

“There’s nothing wrong with taking a break,” I repeated, petting her head. One day, when she’d moved past the trauma of her childhood, perhaps we could read Andreina together. “I’m not angry at you, nor do I mind if you don’t want to take French. Considering everything that’s happened, I believe it makes sense. However, I do have one suggestion…”

Her nervousness touched the air between us, and her voice was breathy when she asked. “Yes?”

“You need to tell Titus yourself,” I warned. “He won’t be angry. But he’ll be hurt if you do this without letting him know. Especially because he’s been worried about how to protect you.”

Chapter Twenty-Six

Titus

Swords

The jewels sparkled under the light, and I studied the new setting that my mother’s heirloom laid in.

The previous piece had all but been destroyed after it’d been thrown into the fire, and even though Bianca never mentioned it, I could tell it worried her. She wouldn’t have tried to claw her way to save it otherwise, even as she was so injured.

She wouldn’t continue to look at me with such guilt.