Page 28

savannah

Soft, rosy morning sunlight trickles through the shutters above the bed. My pink sweater is folded to perfection on the chair in the corner, while a handful of Lions hockey sweats lie in disarray around it.

Memories of last night hit me like a freight train, causing me to close my eyes while something flips in my stomach.

My nipples harden as if Noah’s fingers are trailing down my body again.

My core thrums at the reminder of the weight of him between my legs.

Heat ripples down my neck at the memory of the way his mouth claimed me.

His lips and tongue left me branded, and for the life of me, I can’t bring myself to dislike it.

The weight of Noah’s arm draped across my body holds me in place, keeping me still, almost as if his subconscious knows I’m the type to leave in the morning.

It’s as if he knows I have an aversion to being so close to people, both physically and metaphorically.

But to my surprise, when I look down at the tan forearm and dance my fingers over the light dusting of dark hair there, I don’t fight it.

Instead, I cover his hand with my own and snuggle into his chest a little more.

Even though I hate admitting it to myself, I like the way it feels.

That’s my cue.

The second the thought forms, so does my wake-up call. I’m not supposed to like this. I can’t. Not to the degree that I do. Note to self: one anything with Noah will in fact change things between us.

I need to get up. I need to go home, get some coffee, and find something to distract me from all thoughts of Noah.

Maybe internship interview questions. Or perhaps Chloe has a problem that I can help her solve.

I could learn to cook! That’s been on my to-do list for ten years.

Anything to avoid dealing with whatever insane thoughts—nay, feelings—I’m having right now about the man behind me.

The man now… nuzzling his face in the back of my head?

“Are you smelling me?”

“I can’t help it.” He inhales deeply. “You smell so good.”

Oh my god. His daytime voice is hot. His sleepy over-the-phone nighttime voice drips like honey. But his morning voice? His morning voice should be illegal.

“I smell like you,” I say, rolling over while still locked between his arms.

“Mmm, not the root of your hair though.” He drags his nose along my forehead and my eyes involuntarily close. I allow myself to just feel him. His lips press gently to the crown of my head, and I open my eyes when I feel him pull back enough to look at me.

“So, Savannah Alvarez.” He holds his invisible microphone between us. “How would you say your date with Noah Kingston went? Will you be telling him to fuck off, or will you be agreeing to another one?”

“Do you bring that microphone with you everywhere?” I ask, looking down at his giant bear-like paw between us.

“Uh-oh. Avoiding the question. That’s not good.”

My chest shakes with laughter, and I slide my hands under my cheek.

The backs of Noah’s fingers trail over my naked shoulder, the touch sparking beneath my skin and traveling across my chest, making it difficult to think.

This is exactly why interviews with him are so difficult, because the truth is I would choose Noah and that date a thousand and one times over again, but my reality is different.

I didn’t wake up this morning as a different person, and I know that even if I say yes to another date, it would always be in the back of my mind that I’m making a mistake.

Maybe not tomorrow or next week, but eventually he would find a way to hurt me—and what does that make me if I knew all of that would be preventable?

“Look,” I start.

“I should have done the fancy restaurant thing.” He sighs, dragging his fingers through his hair as he falls onto his back.

“Noah.”

“I probably shouldn’t have shot down the hot air balloon idea so quickly, just because it’s a brisk thirty degrees out.”

The bed doesn’t squeak or dip when I sit up, bringing the sheet up with me.

“The date was perfect.” I grab his wrist and his defeated eyes find mine.

He scoots himself up, leaning against the headboard.

His bare chest is mildly distracting when the sheet falls to his naked lap.

“I like you, okay? Against my better judgment and almost everything I stand for…” That gets a tiny huff of a laugh from him.

“I like you.” I pause, trying to put my thoughts into words, wondering how much to actually tell him. “But.”

“No ‘buts’. That was perfect.” He grabs my hand that isn’t holding the sheet. “Let’s leave it at that.”

I bite down on the inside of my cheek, and he watches, patiently waiting with a speck of hope in his eye, right where the brown meets the green.

I swallow the lump of emotion lodged in my throat and look down at our intertwined hands. “It just feels too complicated. ”

“Because of your dad?”

“No.” I shake my head, adamantly. “I mean—not in the way that you think.”

“Okay, then tell me in what way so we can figure it out.”

I can’t just throw myself head first into something with Noah. Even if I wanted to, which I haven’t decided that I do… but even if I did, I wouldn’t know how. I’m the opposite of a ‘do first, ask questions later’ type. I’m skeptical of everyone's motives, and I’m unwilling to get attached.

“What if we don’t make a big deal out of it, and we just keep it to ourselves for now?”

I don’t answer. I look to him for clarification as he lifts a hand and begins spinning a strand of my hair around his fingers.

“Something is going on in this big, beautiful head of yours, and I’m willing to wait until you’re ready to share it with me. But while you work through it." He pulls me closer by the back of my neck, planting a soft kiss on my lips. “Let’s see where this goes. No one else has to know.”

In any other situation, I would see the red flags popping up in my head. I mean, shit, this is exactly the situation Chloe is in right now and I continuously tell her that it’s terrible. Guy wants girl, but doesn’t want to commit and doesn’t want to tell anyone. Red flag.

But this is what I want. Right?

I’m past the point of believing that one trial relationship won’t change things, but what’s the alternative? I say no to something that I’m interested in? That’s not who I am either.

“No one?” I ask, seeking confirmation.

His lips find mine again and I melt against him. I’m sucked into his touch, his lips, his comfort.

“Just us.” He deepens the kiss, and I let the sheet fall, pressing my breasts against him. I run one hand through his hair while my other wraps around his muscular back, pulling him closer .

“King! You gotta—Oh shit.”

I don’t have a second to think when the door flies open. I get a quick glance at Maverick before I throw myself behind Noah and he moves his hand to my shoulder to cover me at the same time.

“OUT!”

“Sorry! Hey Sass!” I can hear the giddy smile in Maverick’s voice. I squeeze my eyes shut.

“Get the fuck out!”

The door slams shut and Maverick’s muffled voice yells through the wood, “Sorry, buddy! You gotta drive to the barn, I left my whore runner at the bar last night.”

Noah drops his head to my shoulder, and I lift mine solely to instill the fear of god in him with my deepening scowl.

“Okay, so, just between you, me… and Maverick.”

I fix him with a withering stare, and he responds by cupping my cheeks in the palms of his hands and planting his pillowy soft lips on mine again. Just like that, all is forgiven.

Sneaking out of your house in high school is like a right of passage. Not that I would know. I never did it. But sneaking into my apartment as a full blown adult has me holding my breath and reminding myself why I didn’t do this as a teenager.

Tiptoeing past the kitchen, I peek down the hall and I’m relieved to find Chloe’s door closed. My shoulders fall, and I let out a heavy breath, dropping my purse on the tiny table.

“Nice sweatshirt.”

“Jesus!” I smack my chest, spinning around to find a head of messy blonde hair poking up from the couch.

“Sorry.” Chloe giggles, clearly not sorry at all.

“Did you fall asleep out here again?”

“No. I just thought I would hide under the blankets and wait for you to sneak in to scare you.” My eyes flirt with her open laptop on the coffee table. “Okay, I fell asleep on the couch again.” She throws her hands up in the air and stomps off to the kitchen.

The two stools at the kitchen island are hand-me-downs from a family Chloe used to babysit for, but we added some flavor to them by reupholstering the cushions with pink and red checkered fabric. I hop up on one of them while Chloe starts up the Keurig.

“Well, it’s been forty-five seconds.” She reaches a hand over her shoulder, giving herself a pat on the back. “The appropriate amount of time has officially passed. Spill.”

I pull on the sleeves of Noah’s sweatshirt, covering both my hands, and the smile now forming on my lips. Big mistake. His scent lingers in the fabric, setting my jar of Noah Kingston fireflies wild. I drop my arms and head to the counter with a dramatic groan.

“Ugh, Chlo! I don’t know.”

She’s smiling as she puts my decaf pod in.

“You had a good time.” It’s not a question.

Noah and I might have agreed to keep whatever this is between us, but he’s bound to learn sooner or later that “between us” will almost always mean “between him, me, and Chloe.”

“He took me ice skating.”

She pauses with my coffee in hand. Her big, green eyes somehow grow even wider. I nod my head, confirming all the thoughts I know are swirling in her head.

“And you…?”

“Yup.”

“Without…?” Panic.

“Yeah.”

“Holy shit, dude,” she breathes, setting the mug down in front of me.

Holy shit, dude, is right .

My phone dings, and I’m embarrassed to admit that my mind immediately goes to Noah. I dig it out of my bag, snatch the last orange from the bowl, and go back to the counter but stop in my tracks when I see the email from the rugby department.

Shit. I forgot to send them an ‘emergency came up’ email.

My thumb hovers over it, but I decide to rip the bandage off. What are they going to do? Tell me I didn’t get the job I didn’t want?

Good morning, Ms. Alvarez,

I wanted to reach out and see about rescheduling your interview. I apologize for the mix-up last week. Please give me a call at your earliest convenience so we can get you situated.

Looking forward to meeting with you soon.

- Dan

“Is your new boyfriend missing you already?” Chloe teases, but I barely register the joke over my confusion.