Page 37 of Hexed, Vexed, & Undersexed

“From the networks files. . . that I hacked. Listen, I know I’m being a total creeper and should have called, but I was worried. I brought some drinks,” he teases, holding up some wine coolers. “Not sure what you like, so. . .”

He trails off awkwardly when Kai steps into view—again, buck ass naked.

Preston clears his throat.

“Um. . . am I interrupting?” he belatedly asks.

My mom eyes the naked man, then shoots her grandma an exasperated glance. Gram just smirks in return. My mother simply flounces out of the room, leaving me to sort out the chaos.

“Look, Preston, this isn’t the greate—”

“Come on in!” Gram-Gram shouts over me.

The poor man looks ready to run in the opposite direction—and I can’t blame him—but does as my gram-gram offered. He’s squinting at Kai in a peculiar way. Not a ‘I can see your junk and I’m into it’ kind of way. Not even a ‘I can see your junk’ way. It’s more. . . curious.

“Do I know you?” Preston asks my familiar.

“Yeah, I’m Evanora’s ca—”

“Cousin!” I shout over Kai’s confession. “He’s totally my cousin, ah, twice removed.”

“Why would I know your cousin?” Preston asks in confusion.

“Is it awkward I want a piece of that ass, then?” Gram mock-whispers.

There are literally no freaking words. . .

“Sorry, Madame Porter, my heart and holy poker belong to Evanora,” Kai announces.

I choke at this announcement and Gram-Gram pouts.

“Holy poker?” Preston wonders.

“Cock,” Kai supplies, making Preston glare. “Sorry, sometimes I use words from my era.”

“Homeland,” I hastily improvise. “He means homeland. Gram, can we please do something about Kai’sholy poker?”

“Like suck it?”

“Gram!”

“Hexes, you’re such a prude! No wonder you’re not getting any. Between your dry spell and Kai’s, I wouldn’t be surprised if you two combust the moment you kiss.”

“I’m not kissing Kai! We are not kissing cousins!”

“Will somebody please tell me what is going on?” Preston sighs.

“NO!” I shout at the same time Kai says, “Sure.”

I glare at him to shut up, but the deliberately obtuse man ignores me—no wonder he made such a great cat.

“What is your deal?” I hiss ferally.

I figure if I act like a feline, it might get through to him better.

Kai shrugs.

“I’m proving to you that your boy here can’t handle the truth.”