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The dough squishes between her fingers. “Maybe I have reasons to.”
“We both do.” I press closer, containing her restless movements. “But maybe we’re both tired of fighting.”
Her head drops back against my chest. “I don’t know how to stop.”
“Start with the dough.” I release her hands, letting her take control. “Trust yourself to know when it feels right.”
She kneads in silence for a moment, her movements becoming more confident. “What if I mess it up?”
“Sometimes you have to make a mess before you can make something good.” I brush my lips against her temple. “That’s the beauty of bread. There’s always more flour.”
“Is that what we’re doing?”
“I hope so.”
She turns, flour dusting her cheeks, and my t-shirt slinked down, revealing the elegant curve of her shoulder. “Even if it’s really messy?”
“Cupcake.” My thumb brushes the flour from her skin. “I’m done with perfect. It’s fucking exhausting.”
“It is.”
“We finally agree on something.”
“We agree on plenty of things.”
“Name one.”
“Uhm… that pancakes are harder than they look?”
“Back to work.”
“Yes, chef.” She salutes and presses her fingers into the dough with just the right amount. “Anne’s mother used to bake a lot. Cinnamon rolls were her favorite.” Her hands falter, and her shoulders hunch forward.
I know that look. The same one she had at dinner, right before she disappeared to the bathroom. Not tonight. Not when we’re building something good here.
“Hey.” I envelop her hands, stilling their trembling. “Stay with me.”
“I’m fine.” But her voice has that brittle edge.
“You’re not. And that’s okay.”
“The dough’s getting cold.” I keep my body close to hers. “Show me that fold again.”
Her hands move mechanically at first, but the repetitive motion seems to ground her, the trembling subsiding with each push and turn.
“That’s it.” I match my breathing to the rhythm of her kneading. “Just focus on how it feels.”
“It’s… smoother now.”
“See? You’re a natural.” I risk pressing a kiss to her neck. “Though your form could use work.”
She elbows me in the ribs. “My form is perfect.”
“There’s that word again.”
“Shut up and tell me what’s next.”
“We need to let it rest.”