Page 101

Trust.
Because that’s the crux of it, isn’t it? She doesn’t trust me. Not fully. Not with the darkest parts of herself.
I don’t believe you.
I wish she would. I wish she would call me. Need me. Not Blake or anyone.
I want to be the first person on her mind.
But why should she?
I’m a fucking mess. A barely functioning adult stumbling my way through life. What do I know about helping someone else put themselves back together?
I scrub a hand over my face, collapsing back onto the couch. “I don’t know how to do this, Bash. I don’t know how to just… be.”
“You’ll figure it out.” He claps a hand on my shoulder. “But maybe give her some space first, yeah?”
“So, no lunch date tomorrow?”
“Is that a rhetorical question?”
Waiting. Waiting for whenever she decides to reach out.
Ifshe decides to reach out.
Because there’s a very real possibility she won’t. That this is it. The final straw that shattered the fragile bond between us.
“What if she doesn’t?” I stare at the coffee table. “Come to me, I mean.”
“Then you respect her decision, man. As much as it sucks.” His eyes soften. “Give her a day or two. Then send a text. Something simple. No pressure. Just let her know you’re there.”
“And if she doesn’t respond?”
He shrugs. “Then you wait some more. Ball’s in her court now.”
“Waiting’s never been my strong suit.”
“Lil and I… it took a long time for us to get to where we are now. A lot of push and pull. A lot of me trying to force the thing between us when she wasn’t ready.”
I swallow, the bourbon suddenly tasteless on my tongue. “And how did you…?”
“I didn’t. Not really. I just learned to be there for her in the ways she allowed, not the ways I thought she needed.”
I lean my head back, staring at the ceiling. The plaster swims before my eyes, blurring into an indistinct mass. “Just sitting back and watching her hurt herself?”
“You’re not watching. You’re supporting. There’s a difference.” Sebastian sighs. “I know it’s not easy. It goes against every instinct we have to protect the women we love. Butsometimes protecting them means letting them fight their own battles.”
Love.
Is that what this is? This desperate, clawing need to shield her from the world? From herself?
Love. It sounds so basic, merely a single ingredient. What I feel for Naomi is a complex recipe, layers of passion, need, and something beyond love that I can’t even name. It’s like she’s the secret spice that completes me. Love is just the appetizer in a never-ending feast of us.
“You know what you need?” Sebastian chuckles. “Gym session, and after that, I beat your ass in Mario Kart.”
Not a single goddamn word.
Three days. Three fucking days of radio silence from Naomi. I’ve checked my phone approximately eight million times. Okay, maybe eight million and one. Just in case the last check didn’t take.