Page 24 of Her Honorable Viscount (Noble Pursuits #3)

CHAPTER 24

E dward’s heart jumped from his chest to his throat as he sat still half-clothed, listening to Dot’s words.

She loved him.

Or she said she did.

And she wasn’t a woman who would say such a thing for any reason other than it being the truth.

Now, she was staring at him with such trepidation in her eyes, trepidation put there by his own inability to put his feelings into words.

Of course he loved her.

How could he not love a woman so giving, so nurturing, so daring, so loving?

But how could he say so without sounding trite?

“Dot,” he said gruffly, trying to find the words. “I?—”

Before he could finish, the carriage came to a jolting halt that threw Dot backward, and Edward only just managed to reach out and catch her before she fell.

“Are you all right?” he managed, straightening her skirts so that she was decent before hastily fastening his breeches.

He was only midway finished buttoning the top of his shirt when the carriage door opened.

Dot quickly stood in front of him to try to hide him, but it was too late.

His driver stood there with a stupid grin as he stared at the two of them.

“We have arrived,” he announced triumphantly.

“Yes, Jones, I see that,” Edward intoned, no longer trying to hide what had happened in the carriage. It was too late for that.

Now that he looked at Dot closer, it would have been evident from beyond her attire. Her hair was falling in pieces around her shoulders, her cheeks were bright red, her dress hanging slightly askew off one shoulder.

He motioned to her, and she managed to fix half of it before they exited the carriage and walked into the house.

Edward was about to ask Dot to join him in their bedroom to continue their conversation, but Adelaide was waiting for her.

It would have to wait until later.

Maybe by then, he could find the words he needed.

It was late when Edward knocked on Dot’s door that night.

He had waited for her to join him in his bedroom, but when she hadn’t appeared, he wondered if she had felt slighted by him for not expressing himself earlier in the day.

How did he make her understand that he felt for her as she did him, but he couldn’t always express it as he wished?

He thought he had ascertained the right words now, and he inhaled deeply to fill himself with courage before knocking on her door. He heard her mumbled “come in,” and he entered, only to find her sitting in the middle of the bed.

She was not, however, anywhere near ready for sleep. She was still dressed in her gown from dinner that evening, and spread around her were notebooks, journals, and textbooks. She held a quill pen in her hand, and was that an ink stain on the bedspread?

“Edward.” She looked up with flushed cheeks and bright eyes. “How are you?”

“I am fine,” he said. “And you? What are you doing?”

“I am trying to help Adelaide.”

“Is everything all right?”

Dot had spent the rest of the afternoon with Adelaide in her bedroom. They had emerged for dinner, but Adelaide had appeared pale and withdrawn and had excused herself before the meal was over. Michael had tried to leave with her, but she had told him to stay, that she was better off alone.

“Everything is not all right,” she said, biting her lip. “Adelaide has retreated into herself, but I cannot find any physical symptoms besides her not having an appetite. Of course, not eating isn’t healthy for the baby either. I am reading through all I have, both textbooks as well as my own notes from my learnings. Unfortunately, there is not a lot written about women’s health conditions. Most of it is passed down from one woman to another. I will speak with Magda the next time I see her to see if she has any ideas.”

Dot was always animated and forthright, but Edward realized he had never seen her quite as eager and excited as she was right now.

Was it because of the discovery process or the work itself? Could she also be as excited about the establishment that they were setting up together?

“Michael is concerned about her,” Edward said, moving one of the chairs from in front of the fireplace toward the bed so that he could be closer to her without disturbing her work. “I hope it is nothing serious.”

A smudge of ink crossing her cheek gave her a rather impish look.

“I believe it has as much to do with her mind as it does her body,” she said, biting her lip. “But I cannot be certain.”

She sighed, sitting back on her heels as she looked around her. “Oh dear. I have made quite a mess.”

She began to pile all her papers together, and Edward helped her with the pen and inkpot, not wanting to disturb anything else for fear of interfering.

They worked together until it was all sitting on the small table near the fireplace, and Edward returned to his seat, uncertain of what Dot would want now. She took the other chair, and they sat facing one another, a small smile dancing on her lips.

He cleared his throat.

“Dot,” he began, “earlier, in the carriage, you told me of your feelings toward me.”

“I did,” she said, her smile spreading.

“I never had the opportunity to return my sentiments.”

“Edward.” She leaned forward, taking his hands with hers. “I gave you those words without requiring you to reciprocate, even though they would have been lovely to hear. But as I thought about it, I realized something. You don’t need to give me the words, because you have already shown me how you feel. With your actions, with what you have done for me, what you have given me. You have put so much thought into what I want and need. You have been there for me time and again. I appreciate you more than I would ever have thought possible. I already know that you love me. Maybe I knew it, deep within, before you did. Maybe that’s what gave me the courage to tell you my own feelings.”

Relief ran through him that he didn’t need to explain himself. Dot understood him, better than he could ever have asked for.

“Thank you, Dot,” he said, leaning forward, their foreheads touching. “For understanding. For being you. I do love you. Very much so.”

It was enough. They were words he had feared for so long, but now that they were out in the open, they no longer held any trepidation. As their lips touched, re-igniting the fire that only returned to embers before bursting to flame once more, he considered how lucky he was.

And how he would do anything to keep them loving one another this way.

Dot’s conversation with Magda a few days later only solidified her suspicions about Adelaide’s health.

“It should pass when the baby comes,” Magda said, taking her usual stance, leaning against the wall with her arms crossed upon her chest, a position she had taken up many times as she stood and waited for progress during a birth. “Or it might not pass. It might get worse after the baby’s birth.”

“And then what?” Dot asked, biting her lip.

“Then, you watch her closely,” Magda said, pointing a finger at her to emphasize her point. “Very closely. Her mind would not be in the right place, so there is no telling what she could do. She is lucky, however, for she will have someone with her who knows what to watch for and can assist if things get bad. In the meantime, there are a few things that can help.”

She and Dot sat down then as she reviewed the properties of various safe herbs and their effects before Dot told her about the establishment Edward had created. Magda seemed interested though skeptical.

The afternoon went by faster than any Dot had taken part in for some time now, and she was sad when it came to an end, even if what they were discussing had been difficult.

“That’s all for today, then?” Magda said as she stood and began to clean up the tea that had grown cold.

“Yes,” Dot said with a sigh. “We are to have dinner with my family this evening, so I best be getting back before it becomes too late.”

“When will I next see you?” Magda asked, eyeing her shrewdly.

“Hopefully soon, but there is no telling,” Dot said. “How are all of my patients?”

“Everyone is fine, although they miss you,” Magda said.

“You have so much more knowledge than I do.”

“Perhaps, but you have a touch that even I do not. Women respond to you, Dot. You have a gift. I am sorry that you are wasting it.”

“Magda—”

“I know. Not my place. I just had to say it one more time.”

“Thank you for looking out for me,” Dot said with a sad smile. “And thank you for all of your help today. I do appreciate it.”

“Goodnight, Dot.”

“Goodnight.”

Dot sighed as she walked out of Magda’s. Out of instinct, she looked for John, but of course, he was no longer her servant.

Instead, Edward’s carriage was waiting for her. Her carriage, she supposed. It looked so out of place here in Magda’s neighborhood, even though Dot had insisted that the coachman keep it parked in as discreet a location as possible.

As it drove her home, she looked forward to seeing Edward, yet she couldn’t help but feel she was leaving a piece of herself behind.

Edward pretended to read his book, but it was a ruse.

He was using this time to watch Dot.

She had been somewhat melancholy since she had returned from Magda’s yesterday. He knew she was trying to hide it from him, but he didn’t miss the little sighs she made here and there, how she stared out the window as though searching for something, that she kept running her fingers over the notebooks she meticulously kept.

Her research and detail of notes were fascinating, especially because, from what he could tell, she had memorized everything that had happened in every birth she had ever attended.

They sat in the small parlor he kept upstairs, just down from their bedrooms. It was where he had always most enjoyed spending his evenings, in his favorite chair, one that would have been frowned upon elsewhere in the house for its worn upholstery and squeaky rocker, but he had never found another chair in which his body so comfortably fit as it did in this one.

The chair sat in front of the roaring fire, a small table at his side that held his tea and his book. It was why his own bedroom so lacked personality – because this was where he spent all his time.

He had added a chair for Dot before she had moved into the house, although she would likely never know that this had previously been a room for one. Only now he noticed that she preferred to lounge on the sofa near the window. He might have to move it closer to him.

“Dot?” he said, putting his book down, deciding that he was done with the pretenses. “What is bothering you?”

She looked up in surprise. “Nothing.”

He tilted his head as he frowned at her. “You have had an air of sadness about you. Ever since you saw Magda.”

“Well, look at you, so tuned into my emotions,” she said with a little laugh, but he shook his head at her deflection.

“Did something happen?”

“No, not at all,” she said with a smile that he knew was forced. “I suppose it is always a little melancholy leaving something behind. But I am happy with you, Edward, and I will never regret my decision for a moment.”

She placed her notebook on the couch as she rose and walked over to him, slipping onto his lap.

He had never considered this could be a chair for two, but perhaps he would have to re-evaluate that thought.

“Are you sure?” he said, and she nodded, but instead of answering, she touched her lips down onto his.

He tried to remember to follow up on his question and ask her again.

But she made him forget everything else.