Page 18 of Her Honorable Viscount (Noble Pursuits #3)

CHAPTER 18

“ D ot.”

After the church service, they remained polite. Dot had done her best to be pleasant while still letting Edward know precisely what she thought of his behavior.

She would forgive him.

She just had to make him realize how much he had hurt her – even if he had done so inadvertently. He hadn’t considered how she was feeling, and that was what hurt the most.

She knew that if he had understood what his absence had done to her, he would have been more considerate.

But that was the problem. He overthought and always considered the practicalities of a situation and not the emotion.

Sometimes, right and wrong couldn’t be decided logically. One had to follow intuition.

They had just returned to her home, and her mother had invited Edward in for a small luncheon. He had accepted – of course he had, for it was the right thing to do – but when her mother and sisters continued inside, he held back, placing his hand on her arm.

Which she enjoyed far more than she would like to admit.

“Yes?” she said, turning around to face him, folding her arms across her chest.

“Could we speak for a moment – alone?”

“I thought you didn’t want to be alone with me.”

“Dot.”

He appeared so distraught that she took pity on him and gestured for him to follow her through the house and out to the back garden plot overlooking the mews.

“We can speak out here. It is private but not so private that you could be accused of inappropriateness.”

“Very well,” he said, suddenly appearing considerably uncomfortable. “You are not happy with me.”

They stood among the small hedgerow beside the vegetable garden the cook kept.

“Are you just discovering that?”

“I left you without any information, and I apologize for that.”

He was so stoic, so mechanical, that all of the emotion she had felt over the past week bubbled to the surface, brought forth by his calm, rational approach to her own feelings.

“That is not what is most concerning, Edward!” she said, her hands flying out to the side. “I didn’t hear from you in a week. A week in which I was rearranging my life to fit yours. A week in which you told me that you would take care of a most pressing matter to both of our lives. A week in which I wondered if you still wanted to marry me.”

“Why would you ever consider that?” he asked, truly baffled.

“Because I am not what you want, Edward, not truly. You do not want a woman who works as a midwife, who would bring scandal to your family. Even if I am leaving it behind, it is still my past. I know you are ashamed of that part of me, but we are too far into this now for you to back out.”

He shifted closer to her, his hands wrapping gently around her upper arms as he stared at her urgently.

“That is not at all true.”

“No? Then why did you ignore me?”

“Because I was too busy trying to figure out how to make you happy with me!” he exclaimed with such power that Dot took a step backward. Not because she was frightened but because she was shocked. She had never known Edward to be so vocal, and the truth was… she liked it.

She liked seeing the emotion on his face, even if it was part anger and part despair. At least he was showing her something besides the usual apathetic expression he wore through life.

“I want you, Dot,” he said through gritted teeth. “All of you. I want your clever mind. I want your tempestuous body. I want your fiery spirit. This past week, I have been wondering just how I am going to keep you happy once we are married. Why you want me is beyond my comprehension, so in the meantime, I am trying to decide just how to ensure you don’t tire of me. Not many people want to stay around me unless I can provide them with aid, connection, or power. You do not seem to need any of that, so I am unsure what else is left for you.”

“How can you say that?” she asked, her anger diffused as she looked at him in supplication. “How can you believe that is all you are, that you are any less of a man? You are the best man that I have ever known. Yes, you hide it behind a facade, but I am beginning to enjoy the man who I am discovering beneath more than you could ever imagine. You need to see yourself as I do, Edward. Good. Kind. Willing to do what is right. Justice-seeking. Handsome. Even charming when you let down the walls that guard your heart.”

As he blinked at her, she wondered if anyone had ever shared anything like that with him before.

She lifted her hand to his cheek, holding it reverently.

“Do not question whether or not I want you. I have shown you how much I do by what I have given up for you. I do not regret it, but please understand that me doing so means more than anything I could ever put into words.”

He didn’t speak, then. Instead, he answered her as she had supplicated to him. Not with words. But with action.

He leaned down, taking her lips, the pressure on hers causing her to gasp. He had unwound some of his restraint before when they had kissed, but it seemed that this time, a passion had been unlocked within him as he poured all of himself into her.

His arms wrapped around her back, holding her close against him, his lips moving over hers. She moaned into his mouth as she leaned into his kiss, into his body, allowing his tongue to caress her mouth with a promise of what more he had to offer her.

She lost herself in the sensation of his lips on hers, the world around them fading into oblivion. Edward’s embrace was warm and comforting yet tinged with an urgency that matched the pounding of Dot’s heart.

As their kiss deepened, a passion Dot had never known before grew. It was as if Edward had awakened something inside her, something primal and untamed. She responded to him with equal fervor, her hands finding their way into his hair, fingers tangling in the soft strands as she pulled him closer.

Time seemed to stand still as they lost themselves in one another. Dot felt like she was floating, her body weightless in Edward’s arms. He was far from the cold gentleman everyone assumed him to be, as the heat from his body radiated through the layers of fabric between them, setting her on fire.

Edward’s hands began to explore Dot’s back, his fingers tracing the curves of her hips as he pulled her even closer. The sensation was overpowering, sending shivers of pleasure down her spine as her stomach swirled. The way he kissed her, the way his lips moved, the way his breath quickened and matched hers – it was all too much for Dot to handle.

Their touches increased with the same intensity as their kisses. Edward gripped Dot’s hips firmly but gently as he pulled her against him. She responded in kind, running her hands up and down Edward’s back. When one of his hands lifted and brushed against the underside of her breast, she nearly came undone.

He finally broke away, resting his forehead against her chest as they both tried to regain control of their breathing. When he stepped back, he was shaking his head.

“I am sorry, I?—”

“None of that,” she snapped. “That was magic. And I want nothing more but to do it again, as much as we can.”

The corners of his lips tugged upward.

“And we can,” he said. “Very soon. When we are?—”

“When we are married,” she finished with a sigh. “Yes. I know. Three weeks.”

“Three weeks,” he repeated, his eyes glossy.

“And in those three weeks,” she said, lifting her finger and pressing it right into his chest as she looked up at him, “you will not ignore me again for such a length of time. Do you hear me?”

“I promise,” he said quietly. “I promise I will be in touch one way or another every day.”

“Every day,” she repeated. “I will hold you to that.”

“I hope you will.”

He leaned down. “These three weeks just might be the death of me.”

“Why?”

“Because I know now just how you taste. How you will be waiting for me on our wedding night. And I will have to see you, day in and day out, and not touch you. Not put my hands on you. Not strip you bare before me. It’s a battle I will have to fight every day.”

She swallowed visibly.

“I do not think anyone would believe that the strait-laced Lord Mandrake is talking to me like this.”

“Good.” His voice was low, husky. “It is for you, and you alone. Do you understand me, Dot?”

“I do,” she said, uncertain just how she should respond to this sudden primitive side that had emerged from him.

For the truth was, she liked it.

She liked it a lot.

And she couldn’t wait for more.