Page 16 of Her Honorable Viscount (Noble Pursuits #3)

CHAPTER 16

“ C are to tell me why I am coming with you to meet with Lord Carroway?”

Edward glanced over at his brother as they left their townhouse and continued down the wide, sunlit street in Mayfair. They passed neatly trimmed hedgerows, Edward nodding to ladies and gentlemen he recognized as they strolled past while moving out of the way for the occasional carriage.

“One, I need a witness who is on my side. Two, you need to have some sort of purpose today. You look rather… horrid.”

“That is rude.”

“It’s the truth.”

Michael let out a large sigh, hands in his pockets as he threw his head back.

“It’s Adelaide,” he said. “She hates me.”

“Why would you think that?”

“She told me so.”

“I see. That evidence is hard to deny.”

“What do I do, Edward?”

“I am not exactly the best man to ask about affairs of the heart.”

“You are marrying a woman you love.”

“I—” He opened his mouth to tell Michael that he didn’t love Dot, only that he cared for her. Except… maybe he did love her.

He hadn’t thought much of love before. He had only known that he wanted to marry a woman whose company he enjoyed. It didn’t make sense to agree to spend his life with a woman he couldn’t stand to be around.

He admired Dot, yes. He eagerly anticipated the next time he was in her presence. And he couldn’t wait to marry her.

Was that love?

“I am a fortunate man,” he finally settled on. “Has Adelaide agreed to marry you yet?”

“No.”

“That is a problem.”

“I would say so.”

“What are you doing to fix the solution?”

“Fix it?” With annoyance, Michael looked over at him, lifting his hands into the air. “What am I supposed to do? I have brought the woman into my home – well, your home – and offered to marry her. What is there left for me to do?”

“You could… do things for her to make her happy?” Edward said, scratching his head. He could understand Michael’s confusion. They hadn’t been raised in a house where love abounded. They had been looked after, yes, but loved? No. However, Dot was slowly teaching him what it meant to care for someone and put that care into action.

“What do you mean?”

“What are some things she likes?”

Michael stared at him, dumbfounded. “How would I know that?”

“You’ve been around her for some time.”

“Yes, but she doesn’t do much,” Michael shrugged. “Just says she wants to get out but has no suggestion as to where she’d like to go.”

“Have you asked her what she enjoyed before coming to live with us?”

“No, I don’t suppose I have.”

“What do you talk to her about?”

“I don’t know, Edward,” Michael said from between gritted teeth. “We don’t talk very much.”

“You asked her to marry you!”

“Well, we seemed to understand what we enjoyed together. We had fun. Yes, sometimes it was more… intimate. But other times, we would go places, enjoy one another’s company. Neither of us is much for words.”

“What did you do?” He closed his eyes and sighed when Michael suggestively wiggled his eyebrows. “Where would you go?”

“Well,” Michael began, obviously putting some thought into this – perhaps the first time he had done so. “We had fun the day we went rowing until we ended up in the Serpentine. We also went horseback riding one day, but Lady Dot said that isn’t advisable now that Adelaide is further along in her pregnancy. I used to chase her around—well, you do not want to know about that.”

No, he did not.

“Perhaps, then, you should ask her what she enjoys. Maybe you could take her somewhere she would like. If she wants to go home, you could take her to her old neighborhood to see some of her friends. If you were together, it might not be so bad.”

Michael nodded. “I could try that.”

“Or buy her something. Does she like clothing? You could have some dresses made for her. Or if she has a hobby, provide her supplies for it.”

Michael looked at him in some surprise. “Look at you, Romeo.”

Edward started. “I am only trying to help.”

“Yes, but who would have thought you would be so considerate to a woman’s needs? It seems that Lady Dot has unlocked something within you.”

Edward opened his mouth to counter Michael’s words but stopped. Perhaps his brother was right, in a way. He cared about Dot and what made her happy. He wished there was something he could buy her or do for her to make her even happier. He was going to see Lord Carroway, yes, but that was only solving a problem.

What made her happy?

He sucked in a breath.

Bollocks. He knew what made her happy.

Her work.

Work that he was making her give up.

Not him, but society.

Only, somehow, that didn’t sit right with him.

He didn’t have much more time to ponder his dilemma, for they had reached White’s, where he had asked Lord Carroway to meet him. Edward had thought it would be far better than Lord Carroway’s place of residence, where his wife could be present – or where he could allow his anger to get out of hand.

“Allow me to do the talking, Michael,” he said to his brother. “Just be there to support me.”

“Yes, my lord.”

He rolled his eyes at his brother as they found Lord Carroway sitting in a corner of the club’s reading room. Perfect. That should provide them with some privacy.

“Lord Carroway, good to see you,” he said, even though it was something of a lie. Politically, the two of them were often on the same side, but Lord Carroway took a much… harsher view of things.

“What can I do for you, Mandrake?” the earl asked, viewing him and Michael through narrow eyes, likely wondering what type of conversation would require his brother’s presence.

“I have a sensitive matter to discuss,” he said, deciding to get right to the point.

“Out with it, then.”

“I am to be married soon.”

“Congratulations,” Lord Carroway said in a wry tone.

“It seems your wife stumbled upon a matter that my betrothed would prefer to keep quiet.”

“Oh?” Lord Carroway leaned forward. “A scandal, then?”

“I wouldn’t call it a scandal,” Edward said, choosing his words carefully. “However, I believe we both have matters that we would prefer to keep away from the ears of the ton .”

Lord Carroway’s gaze darkened. “I am not certain to what you are referring.”

“Do you recall a maid in your employ by the name of Lucy?”

Lord Carroway shrugged, looking away from Edward to the side, his shiftiness an admission of guilt. “We have many maids. I do not know their names.”

“That’s a shame, for she just had your baby.”

Lord Carroway’s gaze snapped toward him. Edward felt the weight of his glare and the surprise of Michael’s stare.

“I do not know what you think you know,” Lord Carroway seethed, “but you are sorely mistaken.”

“I am not, and I have proof,” Edward said, not allowing Lord Carroway’s anger to sway him. “As I said, I have no intentions to do anything with this information. The girl is well looked after. All I ask is that you tell your wife to forget this vendetta on Lady Dot. If she agrees to keep Lady Dot’s private matters secret, we will do the same. Do we have an understanding?”

Lord Carroway was practically vibrating in his anger as he stared Edward down.

“You are making a big mistake, threatening me like this.”

“I am not threatening anything. I am proposing an agreement.”

“This is not the end of this.”

“I would most hope that it is, Lord Carroway. For both our sakes.”

Edward stood, Michael following him.

“Good day, Lord Carroway.”

On their way to the door, they passed a surprised footman who hadn’t even had a chance to bring them drinks, before they continued out of White’s to the street beyond. Edward was walking so fast that Michael could hardly keep up with him.

“What the hell, Edward!” he exclaimed. “You could have warned me.”

“I figured you would determine what was happening as the conversation continued.”

“That was… well, I have to tell you, Edward, that was impressive. Didn’t think you had it in you.”

“I can surprise you still, can I?”

“Yes, I was most certainly surprised,” Michael said, to which Edward snorted.

“I only hope he will listen to reason and do as I have asked.”

“Or else?”

“Or else we might be in trouble.” Edward grimaced. “I either just made everything better or all the worse. We will find out soon.”

Dot stayed seated on the sofa while her sisters all rushed to the window.

“Lord Mandrake is here again !” Betsy exclaimed. “He must really like you, Dot.”

“I should hope so,” she said as she focused her eyes on her journal in front of her, where she kept meticulous notes on all of her patients and all of the births she had attended. “We are getting married.”

“But he was just here three days ago.”

“Speaking to Fitz,” she noted. “And our wedding is in just three weeks now. I am sure he is here to speak about details.”

And, hopefully, to tell her what had happened during his meeting with Lord Carroway.

She was not to be disappointed. A short time later, they were riding together in his gig – following her mother’s comment on just how much Dot loved the outdoors – and he was sharing his conversation from the previous day.

“You must tell me if you hear anything from Lady Carroway,” he said, and she almost wasn’t even listening as she sat back and gazed at him. He had gone into battle for her with that quiet confidence that he walked around with, hidden just below the surface.

He glanced over at her before returning his attention to the road.

“What is it?”

“You are just… you are my knight in shining armor, do you know that?”

He chuckled. “I am hardly a knight. A soldier, yes.”

“You are,” she insisted. “Your weapons are your cunning and your conversation. But more than that, you are brave, and you do not back down from a challenge. I appreciate that about you.”

“Anything for you,” he said, pausing for a moment, and she couldn’t help but shift closer toward him, needing more contact from him. She longed for the day they could be together as one. On their wedding night, would he be the reserved man he presented to the world? Or would he be as he was when they had kissed – passionate, fiery, all that lay within, apparent when that facade was dropped?

Her thigh was pressed against his, and even through the layers of fabric, she could feel his warmth and the strength of his muscle.

“What are you thinking about?” he asked, although when she leaned in, his pupils grew slightly as though he guessed. Perhaps it was written on her face.

Her cheeks flushed. “I do not want to tell you.”

“You can tell me anything.”

She could. She realized that and loved that fact about him. “I… I was thinking of our wedding night,” she said, her words nearly a whisper as she wondered what he would think of such a confession. She hadn’t even realized that he had steered them to the side of the road until he dropped the reins and took her hands.

“There is nothing to be ashamed about,” he insisted, surprising her. “For I think of it too. All the time.”

“You do?”

His brows raised incredulously. “Of course I do. One of the reasons I am marrying you, Dot, is because of the desire I feel for you. I admire you for the person you are, but I want you for the woman you are. You must understand that.”

His words were always so stilted, and yet he always told her exactly what he was thinking. Just not what he was feeling. She looked into his eyes, searching for where all of his hidden emotion lurked, emotion that she was hoping he would unlock and share with her.

“I do,” she whispered before they closed the distance between them, their lips meeting in a kiss that was far from chaste enough to be accepted on the streets of Mayfair – but let the people gossip. What did Dot care? Of course, Edward might, but he seemed perfectly happy at the moment.

Besides, he was the one who had wanted her for so long. He might as well have her, then.

She lifted her hand and wrapped it around the back of his head as she gave him everything she had, showing him exactly how much she wanted him – wanted this . How grateful she was for all that he had done for her.

He had released her hands, and one of his was now resting on her thigh – warm, strong, and a reminder of what was to come.

Oh, she wanted this. Wanted him. She tried flicking her tongue inside of his mouth, and he responded with a groan, his arm wrapping around her as he pulled her close against him.

His long, lean body felt perfect against her, and she wondered how he would feel when they would lie side by side, together as man and wife.

She could hardly wait.

When he finally released her, her breathing was heavy as her eyes searched his.

“You are an amazing man,” she said, even as he shook his head.

“Do not say that.”

“Why not?”

“I’m afraid I’ve asked too much of you,” he said, lowering his head. “You are giving up a part of yourself that means so much to you.”

“I know,” she said. “I have come to terms with it, however.”

He nodded, before looking up and meeting her eye, his expression quizzical. “Why do you do it?”

“My work as a midwife?”

“Yes.”

“Because I love it. I love the joy in the mother’s eyes when her baby enters the world. I love being able to help them grow their family.”

“Things do not always go the way you wish them, do they?”

“No, they don’t,” she said quietly. “But then I am there to help them through it. Birth is not just a physical act. It requires every part of the woman – all of her strength, yes, and every part of her focus, her very soul. She must go to the deepest part of herself to find that power. To be there with her and witness it is absolutely magical.”

He stared at her in some awe.

“I do not believe I have ever heard it described like that before.”

She laughed. “I do not suppose that many people talk to you about childbirth.”

A slow smile spread over his face. “No, I do not suppose they do.” He tilted his head at her. “Which does bring forth the question of how you even discovered this was something you were passionate about?”

“I am the second eldest of eight children,” she said. “I remember being in the room when my youngest sister was born. I think that was the first time I realized the miracle of birth. Then I accompanied my mother when my cousin was born. She was waiting outside the room, but I snuck in with the midwife – Magda. No one noticed me or made me leave. I suppose most fifteen-year-olds would have been terrified by what they saw, but I was fascinated. I wanted to learn more.”

“Did your family know?”

“Not at the time. One blessing of so many children in a family is that it is easy to go unnoticed. A few years later, I found the midwife who had been present with my cousin, and she agreed to apprentice me, not knowing who I truly was. And that was how I began. I only started overseeing my own births this past year. But it is an absolutely remarkable thing to do, Edward.”

He nodded.

“But,” she continued, “you are right. Hopefully, we will be blessed with our own children, and they will bring such joy, Edward. I know they will.”

They had to.

It would make giving up all of this worth it.