Page 6

SIX

Aditi

Aditi truly, desperately hated dating apps. She wasn't ready to be on the apps either but she was tipsy from the margaritas and Alix had already hijacked her phone.

"Hobbies!" Alix shouted, entirely sprawled out on Aditi's sofa like she owned it.

"Ha! Funny. I don't have time for hobbies. I work and sleep."

“Yeah, but you can’t say that. You’re trying to make it sound like you have time for a partner.” Alix hummed.

Frustratingly, Aditi had to concede that saying she never had time was a good way to start a relationship. “What if we wrote down hiking?”

“You hiked once two years ago,” Alix pointed out in the way only a lifelong best friend could. “Oh, what about poetry? You write those really snappy poems about your job."

"That's not really a hobby," Aditi rebuffed, heat rising up to her cheeks. She felt embarrassed enough that she'd drunkenly shown her awful poems to Alix that one time, she didn't want to be reminded of it. And she certainly didn't want it on her dating profile.

Alix groaned in frustration. "Why is this so hard?"

"Let's just cancel the whole thing," Aditi said with a sigh. “Maybe this online dating thing isn’t for me.”

"Don’t be silly. You know what? I'm just going to write down that people need to ask you if they want to find out.

" Alix grinned, seemingly proud of herself for that solve.

"There. Now we just add some bear emojis so people know you're a bear shifter and tadaa!

Alright, now pictures! At least that should be easy, you gorgeous thing. "

Aditi winced when her gallery was opened and her latest pictures started filling the screen. Her and Lena at the beach at sunset, her and Lena at the food fair, her and Lena at their favourite restaurant, her and Lena in be---

She snatched her phone back and quickly swiped past the intimate pictures. They weren't doing anything spicy, they weren't even naked, but they both wore such deep genuine smiles. It hurt seeing themselves so happy, so blissfully in love and blissfully unaware what was coming.

"Definitely not those," she muttered, sighing as more pictures of them together flew by. All those snapshots of their life together, it was bringing tears to her eyes which was how she knew she had to move on because these beautiful moments were gone. What was even the point of keeping them?

"I should delete these, I just haven't got around to it," she mused. And yet, she couldn't bring herself to press the delete button. Even if she was moving on, she wasn't really ready to accept that it was truly over.

She didn't want it to be over.

Alix gave her a compassionate smile. "You also don't have to. She was a big part of your life, you don't have to pretend it didn't happen."

As comforting as that was, it was also haunting. What if Aditi never got over this? What if she spent her whole life missing Lena and cursing herself for not just being brave and impulsive and going along with the move.

Why did she have to ask for the one thing she knew Lena didn't want, never wanted. A fated mate.

She sighed. Maybe it was for the best that they never went into Crescent Lake. At this rate, they would've likely discovered they weren't fated anyway and that would've been the end of the relationship too.

Yeah, once these thoughts of fate grabbed hold of her, there'd been no winning in Aditi's book. It was cruel, cruel, cruel that she'd started wanting this, especially because her younger self actively rejected anything related to fate.

Maybe fate was just making her pay the price.

She kept swiping, passing over the picture in her bear form. As nice as her dark coat looked, this wasn't something she just showed to anyone. She'd even been reluctant to reveal this form to Lena, back when they just started dating.

The next pictures all included Lena, all with that beaming bright boyish smile of hers. Aditi was glad when she found a selfie that didn't include her ex. It wasn't the best picture but she was smiling and didn't have those dark bags and worry lines that she currently sported.

"How is this?" she asked, twisting her phone to show it to Alix.

"Hmm?" Alix squinted at the picture. "Yes, that's nice. You look hot."

"Thanks." With a sigh, Aditi finished creating her profile and her parameters.

She set a small radius because if she wasn't going to move for Lena, she definitely wasn't going to move for a stranger.

She ticked only women since she had no interest in men and added the box that stated she was looking for love.

Ugh. Love. It sounded horrible but that was what she was here for.

Then it was time to match. The profiles were already queued up, all Aditi needed to do was swipe.

"Too old," Aditi said for the first woman. She continued swiping, not in any way, shape, or form interested or intrigued by the steady stream of selfies. "Too young. Too perky. Too macho. Too tall. Too short."

Alix rolled her eyes. "Come on, you're not giving anyone a chance. You're the one who wanted to try online dating."

"But none of them do it for me," Aditi complained, still swiping without even bothering to look. This had been a terrible mistake. None of these women were Lena.

"Stop!" Alix almost slapped the phone out of Aditi's hand. "Fuck, that's Veronica."

Aditi sat up, instantly distracted from her own woes. "Oooh! Hello, hot step-sister."

Not to her surprise, Alix gave Aditi's head a swat. "Don't call her that!"

Aditi flicked through the various pictures of Veronica, far more invested in this than her own love life. So this was the woman that Alix almost hooked up with last week? It was so unlike her friend to just go out and sleep with a stranger so of course, Aditi was intrigued.

This Veronica looked classy. Expensive bags, designer clothes, just a vibe that only people with money had. Not stupid generational money, but flashy cash.

"She's cute. Not my type, though," she added quickly, so her friend wouldn't think she was interested.

"Thank the Goddess for that," Alix muttered. It sounded like a joke but knowing her, it was likely genuine relief. For some reason, Alix seemed to believe that Aditi was far more attractive than her.

Aditi disagreed. While she didn't think of herself as ugly, she did have eyes and mirrors, she also knew that some people would always dismiss her because of her heritage.

She didn't mind, she never minded because her own preferences were specific too.

Tall women, smart women, sweet women with a heart of gold.

All those boxes had been ticked in Lena.

A picture of Veronica in a red bikini appeared and Alix fanned herself. "Told you. Smoking hot."

Aditi felt herself smile. "You should make yourself a dating profile and match with her." Maybe that would distract her friend from trying to match her up with all these random women.

"No! Were you not listening to the whole story? I need to stay the heck away from her," Alix protested.

"Why? She's not your real step-sister. Your mum and her dad happen to be dating each other. Big deal," Aditi said, eagerly jumping on the change in topic.

Alix looked comically mortified. "And I have to go to dinner with them and Veronica, the woman who I almost hooked up with. No, that makes it sound hot and steamy when I fell asleep in the middle of our hook-up. How embarrassing!"

"I've had that happen to me. I've totally fallen asleep in the middle of sex when I had a super long shift."

"Yes, but with Lena. With your long-term partner, your best friend, the love of your li—" Alix paused mid-sentence. "Sorry."

Aditi's stomach turned and she could suddenly feel all the margaritas at once. She pressed her hands over her mouth but she still felt horrible.

Alix patted her back. "You okay?"

"Mhmm," she hummed before shaking her head. "Hmhm."

"Need some water? Fresh air? A bag?"

"No, I'm fine." Aditi slid her hands up until her fingers reached her temples. "Why couldn't I just say yes when Lena asked me to move with her? What does it matter if we're fated mates?"

Alix didn't answer.

"I'm such a coward," Aditi continued, her head heavy with regret and despair. "I should never have asked her to go to the lake with me."

"It's alright to want a fated mate, though. It's in your blood. You're a shifter, a bear shifter at that. Wanting a fated mate is in your DNA," Alix said.

Aditi cringed at the statement. "I hate that so much. I've always hated the idea of fate dictating my choices, my love life. I wanted to love someone freely, simply because I love them. Not because of any Moon Goddess' will or the universe’s plan or something like that."

"And that's beautiful too. But now you want more."

"I don't even know if I do! I just panicked.

Like moving to the country is a big deal.

Leaving my mum behind, leaving you behind.

For someone who could leave me at any moment?

" Aditi knew how pathetic and insecure she sounded.

She could hear it in her own voice and she hated herself for it.

She shouldn't have felt like that after a four-year relationship.

And she certainly shouldn't have dealt with it this way, demanding something that they both previously agreed to not doing.

But then the moment Lena refused to go into the lake with her, all those insecurities had multiplied. Why didn't Lena want to find out if they were fated? Would Lena rather break-up then do this? Did Lena think they weren't fated mates?

It all spiralled from there on and what Aditi once thought of as a secure relationship came crashing down.

She didn't even have anyone to blame but herself.

Alix gave her a pitiful look. "I'm sorry. I don't know what to say."

"That's okay. I fucked this up. Me. Nobody else." Aditi pushed her hands up her forehead, resisting the urge to pull out all her hair.

They sat in silence for a little longer before Alix reached for the pitcher. "More margaritas?"

“I shouldn’t. I’ve got work tomorrow.”

“And we have dinner with Maria and Lena too.”

“I forgot about that. Fuck .” With a heavy sigh, Aditi held out her empty glass. "Fill it up to the brim."