Page 15

FIFTEEN

Lena

The cold air made Lena shiver and she wished she'd brought a thicker coat. The talk had gone on longer than expected and had been surprisingly grim.

"It's a good thing it was about murderers in broad daylight," Aditi said, gesturing into the dark night. "Goodness..."

"Hmm," Lena hummed affirmingly. "I never realised there was a serial killer in our city."

"No, me neither. You think that's the kind of thing you would know. Especially one that preys on women."

"Well, he's dead so it's not an issue anymore," Lena said, although the talk had ended quite ominously with some statistics about the likelihood of a murderer being in their midst or how likely an encounter was like that was.

It was the first time a talk like this had unsettled her and a good reminder that murder was not a cute topic.

She paused, her gaze drawn to the bar that they used to drink at every now and then. Before she knew it, she'd made an unwise suggestion. "Do you want to grab a drink, shake off the ugh from the talk?"

"Hmm, better not."

Lena's disappointment made her stomach heavy and she admonished herself for temporarily forgetting that they weren't together anymore. It was just so easy to slip back into their familiar rhythm but she had to remember that Aditi didn't love her like she used to.

"It's getting late, I should probably go home," Aditi said.

Lena nodded even if everything inside her wanted to grab hold of Aditi. "Yeah, probably."

"I'm glad it's only a short walk home," Aditi said, peering off into the distance. "How are you getting home? Taxi?"

"Yeah, I was just going to walk up to the station where all the taxis queue."

"Maybe you should order one through the app instead, that way there's a trail. You know, just in case."

As sweet as her concern was, Lena was also looking in the direction of their old home. It was a relatively safe walk back, that was true, but there were some dodgy parts.

Not to mention, Aditi seemed a bit uneasy.

"What about you? Maybe you should also take a taxi home," she suggested, her stomach twisting at the thought of danger befalling Aditi. "Or I could walk you home."

"Is that a good idea?"

"Yeah, I can just take a taxi from there. It's not that much more expensive."

Aditi gave her a poignant look. "I wasn't asking for money-reasons."

It took Lena a moment to catch on. Maybe it was weird to walk Aditi back to the flat they used to live in. Even if they agreed to be on friendly terms, that was too much, wasn't it?

"I suppose it might be a bit weird," she conceded.

"On the other hand, it's only weird if we make it weird. And I don't really want to walk home alone," Aditi admitted, sounding a bit more decisive than before.

Something inside Lena leapt and she nodded. "Alright, then we should set off. The night isn't going to get any younger."

The walk back was filled with nostalgia that was somehow warm and familiar but also like a noose tightening around Lena's neck. This was weird. This used to be her route, her local chippy, her corner shop. This used to be home.

She'd gotten all quiet by the time they reached their flat.

Lena had to correct herself. Not their flat, Aditi's flat. Just thinking that made her stomach turn.

This was a mistake.

"I should go," she murmured, unable to look Aditi in the eye. If she did, she might just cry. This was why they couldn't just hang out, it was far too loaded, far too painful.

She turned away, turned back, didn't say anything. What was there to say?

"You should wait inside for your taxi," Aditi said, her keys already in hand.

"You're inviting me in?" The surprise briefly lightened Lena's heavy stomach. She'd written most of the night off as Aditi being Aditi but no matter how friendly and warm she was, she didn't just invite people into her home. Not without an ulterior motive.

Aditi leaned against the wall and looked at her with those big innocent doe eyes of hers. "Well, I don't want you to get murdered right in front of our house."

Our house.

It felt like Lena couldn't breathe. "Is that a good idea?" she asked, much more aware of the precarious situation they'd gotten themselves in.

"What is?" Aditi asked, playing dumb.

"Me. Coming inside."

"It's just for a little bit. Isn't it?" That last bit almost sounded like a dare, like Aditi was challenging her to refute it.

The cold air made Lena shiver. If she were sensible, she would say no and walk away. If she were sensible, she shouldn't have invited Aditi out for this evening. If she were sensible, she would stop staring at Aditi's lips.

But Lena wasn't sensible. She just nodded wordlessly and followed Aditi into their old home, desperately chasing after the tiniest flame of hope that they hadn't fully burned out yet.