Page 6 of Her Desire (Pulse Medical #3)

Her fingers hovered over the screen for a moment while she decided whether she wanted company or to be alone. But being alone tonight would lead to an avalanche of overthinking and emotional spirals and so, of course, she needed someone to drag her out of the black hole before it sucked her under.

Eric was her emergency lifeline, the only other person apart from Holly who could remind her that her brain wasn’t the only thing in charge.

“Hey, G,” Eric answered after a few seconds. “What’s up?”

“Meet me at my place,” Gianna replied, her voice sounding almost mechanical. “I need to get out of my own head for a bit.

Thirty minutes later, Gianna walked into her house carrying takeout boxes of Chinese food while Eric, her friend and yoga instructor, followed her through the front door.

“You know, I’m surprised you even called me tonight,” he said, opening the fridge and grabbing a bottle of half-finished red wine. “I was hoping you were out on some hot date.”

Gianna could practically hear the smirk in the way he said hot date because Eric knew full well that the last time Gianna had been on any date was over two years ago—and that date had been neither hot nor anything worth remembering.

Rather than indulging him with one of her sad, recycled excuses she always had for still being alone at age forty, she ignored him and called out, “Henry!”

The tabby’s ears perked up at the sound of his name and within seconds, he was jogging across the hardwood floor, his fluffy tail flicking behind him.

Henry had a one-trick mind for food. Gianna grabbed one of the cans of wet food she always kept stocked for his royal highness and popped it open before dishing it into his bowl.

“You’re such a good boy,” she mumbled, scratching him under his chin as she set the food down on the floor. “And good boys get the best food money can buy. Only the best for my boy.”

“You really should stop spoiling him like that,” Eric said, reaching for two wine glasses in the cupboard. “You know he’ll eat you if you drop dead.”

She sent him an evil eye. Gianna would never stop. After all, Henry was the only one who consistently understood her. For all the wonderful cuddles she’d gotten over the years, he deserved to be lavishly treated.

Eric poured them each a glass of wine and leaned against the counter, watching her over the rim of his owl-shaped glasses.

The lenses were fake and the whole reason he wore them was because he thought it made him look intellectual yet approachable, like a poet.

“So, how was your day?” he asked, swirling the wine in his glass like a sommelier.

“And more importantly, why are you alone this weekend? Again… I was kind of hoping you were calling to tell me that you met someone.”

Despite their five years of friendship—Gianna met Eric during a yoga retreat, and they had clicked better than a seatbelt in a luxury car—she just couldn’t get herself to tell him about Holly.

It wasn’t that she didn’t trust him with the information.

Not at all. Eric was the kind of friend who knew how to listen, only ever judged other people, and could read her mood better than a storybook.

But saying it out loud, admitting it even to him that she was avoiding her own thoughts because Holly Lucas was on a date, felt like crossing a line Gianna wasn’t ready to cross.

Because once she said it, once she actually admitted it out loud to the universe, well, there was no taking it back. It would make it real. And real meant that she might have to do something about it.

“Oh, and you’re not alone this weekend?” Gianna snapped back, her voice a little sharper, a little more defensive than she had meant it.

Eric laughed. “Touché. You got me there, G. But actually,” he paused to take a sip of his wine, smacked his lips together, and then added, “I’m off men for a bit.”

Now that was surprising. Eric was the opposite of Gianna. He had a date every weekend. Sometimes, a date every evening.

Even Henry found it surprising. He meowed and Gianna bent down to give him a scratch behind his ears which elicited his characteristically loud purring.

At night, when everything was still and all Gianna could hear was the faint crash of waves against the shore, Henry sounded like a tiny, overworked lawnmower, chugging along at full power.

“Off men?” Gianna repeated, shocked. “What the hell happened? Did the last one get scared off when you told him you don’t actually need to wear glasses all the time?”

Eric made a face. “Not quite. No, I had the pleasure of going on a date with someone who seemed perfectly normal, at first. But then…fuck,” he waved his hand like he was trying to brush off the memory.

“He brought his ex to the date. Like, sat them down at the table with us. Said it was a good way to see if I could handle his life.’”

Gianna’s eyes widened at the same time her jaw dropped. “Wait, he did what ?”

“I know,” Eric muttered, taking a long sip of his wine. “And worse than that, it was at his house, and he made us all play board games—Monopoly. Fucking Monopoly. The only game where no one was winning without selling their soul.”

Gianna’s laugh bubbled up. “Who won?” she asked, but before Eric could even answer, she was already laughing out loud, clutching at her stomach as she imagined Eric, his date, and the third wheel sitting around a table playing the worst board game of all time.

For the first time since she’d left the hospital, the gnawing thought of Holly dressing up in something elegant, or maybe even skimpy, and heading on her date started to fade into the background. It was still there, of course, like the buzz of a fly, but at least it wasn’t front and center anymore.

“It’s not funny,” Eric said, pulling yet another face.

He flicked his shaggy blonde hair out of his eyes and headed for the plastic packet of Chinese food.

“His ex, alright. He fucking slayed the game.” He tore open the packet even though it would’ve taken the same amount of effort to untie the knot and dug through the containers. “Please tell me you got the dumplings.”

“Of course,” Gianna said, getting her laugh under control. “What kind of monster do you take me for?”

She got plates and placed them on the dining table, which had a gorgeous view of a California Pepper tree. It wasn’t an ocean view, but it was still amazing. Once the food was dished, and they’d settled in, Gianna sighed dramatically. “Maybe we should both go celibate.”

But Eric didn’t seem to agree. “Don’t let my bad egg ruin yours, darling.” He pointed a chopstick in her direction. “ You need to get laid. That trusty vibrator of yours can only do so much.”

Gianna rolled her eyes and reached for a dumpling. “Thanks for the concern.”

“I am concerned.” Eric narrowed his eyes. “When was your last actual relationship, G, because honestly, I don’t remember.”

It had been ages. Years. And even then, that so-called relationship with the radiology tech she’d met at a hospital had been more of a slow-motion implosion than anything meaningful.

An attempt at a connection that had fizzled out before it had even begun.

Even the women—not that there had been many—she’d slept with, either at their houses or in the bathroom stall of The Biscuit Mill, had never meant anything more than a quick release.

“A while,” she said, focusing rather on the sweet and sour chicken on her plate and the dumpling currently between her chopsticks. She didn’t want Eric to know that it had been almost eight years. Eight long, lonely years.

He picked up a dumpling and stuffed it into his mouth. “You’re either way too selective or scared of commitment,” Eric mumbled with his mouth full.

“I’m not scared,” Gianna said, glancing out the window at the pepper tree.

“I just haven’t met someone worth it.” Which wasn’t entirely true.

The truth was that Gianna was probably, most likely, okay definitely, in love with Holly Lucas and that was a whole other mess she didn’t want to deal with right now.

A love that couldn’t be reciprocated. It was sad and just a little pathetic.

“Fine,” Eric said after a few beats once his mouth wasn’t stuffed with food. “But as long as you know I’m here, right? To talk if you ever need it. The heavy stuff, the light stuff, and everything in between.”

“Well, thank you,” Gianna said, feeling a little more relaxed, a little less aggravated than before.

She liked this feeling—the airiness, as if she could breathe a little deeper, move a little easier.

Maybe the only way she could keep up this moment of peace was to put a little more distance between her and Holly. Or maybe a lot of distance.