Page 16 of Her Desire (Pulse Medical #3)
Clara studied her for a long moment, just watching, which put Holly’s nerves through a cheese grater. She knew her cousin well enough that her mind was ticking like a damn clock. “Okay,” she said simply after a while.
Holly glanced up at her over her fingers. “That’s it? Just okay?”
“Yes,” Clara said. “You slept with a woman. You liked it—possibly loved it. And now you’re having an existential crisis.”
“It wasn’t just any woman though,” Holly countered, not loving how Clara was simplifying the whole thing into some casual-sounding, one-night-stand scenario. “It was Gianna. We’re friends. We work together.”
“Well, what does she have to say about it?”
The truth was, Holly had no idea what Gianna thought because she hadn’t given her a chance to say anything. Holly had practically bolted out of Gianna’s bed like the house was on fire—she wasn’t exactly a shining example of maturity.
“I don’t know what she thinks about it,” Holly finally admitted. “I just kind of freaked out after the sex and ran away. I haven’t spoken to her since.”
Clara let out a long, exasperated breath and looked at Holly as if she couldn’t believe her ears.
“Okay,” she said, clearly a tiny bit frustrated.
“Let me get this straight. You had great sex with your friend—a gorgeous friend, might I add—and instead of talking to her about it, figuring things out, like a normal human being, you ghosted her?”
“It’s not ghosting.”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” Clara said, her voice thick with sarcasm, “What do you call ignoring someone after sleeping with them.”
“Self-preservation,” Holly replied even though she knew her cousin was right. She’d done a terrible,horrible thing.
“Call her,” Clara said matter-of-factly.
She got up, walked over to the kitchen counter where Holly had dumped her handbag earlier, and found Holly’s phone before walking back to the couch.
She then handed Holly the phone. “And apologize for being such an asshole and avoiding her. She’s probably feeling like a complete idiot right now, thinking you hate her. And that’s not fair, is it?”
Calling Gianna wasn’t that simple. Especially not after the missed calls Gianna had already left her—the ones Holly had stared at, heart pounding, before shoving her phone face-down. What was she even supposed to say?
“I can’t,” Holly said, shaking her head as she dropped her phone to the cushion beside her. “I need more time to figure things out.”
“You have to,” Clara said, slipping into her mom's voice—the one she used on the rare occasions she liked to pretend Josie didn’t have her completely wrapped around her finger.
Holly scowled, but with Clara staring her down as if she wouldn’t let her leave until she made the call, she reluctantly reached for her phone, flicked on the screen, and found Gianna’s contact. “Fine,” she mumbled, glaring up at Clara beneath her eyelashes. “I’ll call her.”
Clara looked extremely satisfied.
Without much enthusiasm, Holly tapped Gianna’s name. The phone rang. And rang. And rang. There was no answer. She waited another three seconds for good measure and ended the call.
Holly let out the breath she hadn’t realized she was holding, equal parts relieved and disappointed—mostly relieved. “She’s probably in surgery.”
“New plan,” Clara said, suddenly looking far too energetic for a mom of a ten-month-old as if a part of her was actually living through Holly. “Go to the hospital. Or better yet, why don’t you pop by her house tonight? Take a bottle of wine?—”
“Are you insane?” Holly snapped. A bottle of wine would do the exact opposite; it would loosen her tongue, lower her defenses, and before she knew it, she’d be making even more questionable decisions.
Like kissing Gianna again. Or worse, admitting how much she wanted to, how she couldn’t stop thinking about her friend in that way—gorgeously naked with her mouth pressed up against Holly.
Before that thought could take root and Clara could push any further, Holly jumped off the couch, scooped Josie up from the playpen, and pressed a loud kiss to her chubby cheek.
“Who’s ready for a snack,” she asked in that sing-song voice she used to expertly redirect.
“Your mom’s going to make us both a snack, isn’t she? ”
When Holly walked into the hospital the next day, she knew James would probably corner her at some point, to interrogate her about whatever condition had forced her to leave work early. Which would’ve been sweet if he was actually the caring type.
Honestly, she’d take him over seeing Gianna this morning.
But that was a problem, considering they had surgery together—a routine laparoscopic appendectomy of a ten-year-old girl.
Straightforward. No complications expected.
And, thankfully, not particularly long. This meant Holly only had to survive an hour in the OR with Gianna, surrounded by nurses, pretending everything was fine.
As if on cue, Holly spotted Gianna across the hall near the OR board, flipping through a cart.
She looked focused, almost aggressively so, and Holly couldn’t help feeling a flutter of nerves bundle up in her stomach.
It wasn’t so much because of the way Gianna was scowling, but because she could still feel Gianna’s hands on her, still hear the way You’re fucking beautiful had sounded in that low, breathless voice.
Holly swallowed hard. There was no time for those memories to come sweeping back into her mind. She wouldn’t allow them. Not today at least. And especially not here. She took a deep breath in, rolled back her shoulders, and crossed the hall to where Gianna was standing.
They were in a public space, doctors and nurses were walking purposefully, discussing patients, working on files and the odd one or two were…flirting. Yup. Oakridge Hospital was basically a breeding ground for workplace romance. Everyone knew it. And now it seemed Holly had fallen into the trap.
“Gianna,” Holly said, nervously fumbling with the hem of her scrub top. “Can we talk? Maybe head to the breakroom and chat?—”
“I’m sorry,” Gianna cut in, barely glancing her way. “I have a patient to see before our surgery.” She tucked the chart under her arm and turned on her heel.
Panic flared in Holly’s chest. But what had she expected?
Gianna to just smile and pretend Holly hadn’t ghosted her.
That everything was fine? That Holly hadn’t had mind-bending great sex only to storm out the bedroom after telling Gianna that she wasn’t like her. Could she have said anything worse?
Holly couldn’t let it end like this. She had to at least try.
She hurried after Gianna and caught up with her just as she reached the next hallway. “I know I messed up,” she said breathlessly, her heart sprinting a mile a minute. “I should’ve called you back. I should’ve?—”
Gianna stopped so suddenly that Holly nearly crashed into her. When she turned, there was no mistaking the annoyance in her expression, the exhaustion in those lovely brown eyes. “Yeah,” she said, her voice so clipped Holly’s skin broke out in goosebumps. “You should have.”
Holly opened her mouth to speak, desperate to fix this, to say something that wouldn’t make Gianna look at her like that, like she was nothing more than just a disappointment. But the words didn’t come. Her tongue didn’t work. She closed her mouth and sighed out loud.
Gianna shook her head, already stepping away. “I’ll see you in surgery.”
With that, she was gone, leaving Holly standing there, heart pounding, the unmistakable feeling that she’d just ruined everything so obvious it could have been written in a big neon sign.
“Shit,” she muttered under her breath. “Shit. Shit. Shit.”