Page 14 of Her Bully Alpha (Honeycomb Valley Alphas #1)

I found myself a spot in the middle of the forest and tossed a blanket down. I had finished work early and decided to spend the rest of the day focusing on my magic. While sex hadn't brought it out like I thought it was going to, that didn't mean I was going to stop trying.

I sat down, leaned against a tree trunk, and took a deep breath in. I opened the books that I managed to find at the library and started to skim through them.

I quickly read that focus and deep breathing were necessary for this to work. Other parts mentioned staring at a spot and trying to push the magic out was another way. But everything said, unless I had unleashed it before, I couldn't just get it to come out. It took practice. It was like learning a new skill.

I flipped through a few more pages and felt a headache forming between my eyes. I felt like I was in quicksand. The more I searched, the less I understood. Katie hadn't been lying when she said there was a lot on magic. There were different types of welders and other varieties. There were various levels and spells. It was a lot of information, and my brain couldn't absorb it all.

"Sam?"

I jumped and looked up from the book, finding Nessa standing a few feet away from me. She gave me a soft smile and walked over towards me. "What are you doing out here?"

"I just needed a quiet space to do some reading and thinking," I said, glancing down at her stomach. I couldn't help but wonder if she was pregnant yet after wishing she could have twins.

"I'm not pregnant yet," she said softly, and I frowned.

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to stare. It was rude of me."

She waved a hand. "No, it's only natural, given you saw the room. We've been trying, but still no luck. But I'm hopeful. I know that it will happen for us. We just have to be patient."

I couldn't help but hope she got what she wanted.

"Do you want to join me?" I asked, waving at the blanket. I had more than enough space for her. I just needed to move the books.

She shook her head. "No, I'm actually just on lunch break right now, and I just wanted to get out and have a little fresh air before I go back. I normally walk this path. It's peaceful, so you picked a good location. Not everyone knows about it."

I gave her a soft smile in return. "It is peaceful out here. And it's quiet."

Nessa knitted her fingers together. "I'm actually glad I ran into you. I wanted to apologize."

I knitted my eyebrows together, unsure why she would be. I wondered if I had done anything to her at her party, but nothing came to mind. Both her and Kirk had been nothing but nice to me during the entire day.

"What for?" I asked. "Nothing comes to mind."

Nessa gave me a weak smile in response. "For being a terrible person to you growing up. I saw the way you looked when Jay brought you to the party, and it's been bothering me."

I was a little shocked. Had I looked uncomfortable? I thought I hid it better than that.

I quickly shook my head. "Nessa, you really don't need to apologize for that. It's in the past."

She nodded her head slowly. "I know it's in the past, but it's also in front of me, and I don't want you to feel uncomfortable in front of my brother and me. We both know we weren't great people growing up. We treated you and other humans terribly, not caring how it would make you guys feel."

I swallowed, not sure what to say to her. There were so many things that they had done.

I could remember the side glances and the way Nessa rolled her eyes when I walked by. They always commented, “Oh, look, the human is here.”

I remembered the tripping and the ways they would turn people away from me. It was hard, and I cried so many times when I got home, wishing I could change everything. I never told my brother or my folks just how bad it was. I never told anyone.

But that was the past, and I had moved past it all. Jay had changed, so why wouldn't Nessa and Kirk? As I looked at Nessa, I could see she wasn't the same person she was before. She held a kindness in her eyes and when she smiled, it looked soft and caring. It was different from the looks I used to get.

"Well, thank you," I said, twirling my fingers together. "It means a lot to hear that."

"I do hope that we can be friends. I imagine Kirk would like that as well. Considering you're married to Jay. We will be seeing you around a lot."

I knew that would happen. Jay had always been close with the twins. I should have known that they would still be friends even years later.

"If you don't mind me asking, how did you come to change your view about humans? You seemed to have pretty strong emotions about humans."

Nessa knitted her fingers together, looking uncomfortable. "We have a cousin who's a few years younger than us and who moved into town when we were in tenth grade. We never realized how hard a life she had until she moved here, and we noticed other people picking on her for being a human."

I chewed on my lower lip, and Nessa frowned. "We had a very screwed up view on life…and we all had to outgrow it, which I'm sure you've noticed even Jay had to. Our parents looked down on humans, so we did as well."

"You're forgiven," I said, knowing she meant what she said. I could see it in her eyes that she was being honest about feeling bad.

"Besides," I add. "You guys were nothing nearly as bad as Jay was. You just added onto him."

Nessa chuckled and softly smiled. "Yeah, well… he's changed as well. He probably had a lot more growing up to do, and it doesn't help that his father still views humans as lesser. But Jay has grown from that."

I smiled, starting to see that it was true. As grumpy as he seemed, Jay had softened up to me.

"Well, I should get back to my walking. You have a good time enjoying the weather and your reading spot."

"Thank you.” I sat up a little straighter. “And I hope you get what you want.”

Nessa looked at me, confused, and I waved a hand. “With Katie. I hope whatever she has planned for you works so you can have kids.”

Nessa's eyes looked like they filled with tears and she gave me a soft smile. “I hope so to.

I waved as Nessa started to walk away, and I leaned back against the trunk. I couldn't help but softly smile. It was clear that she had grown up.

The wind blew, and it felt like a warm hug was wrapped around me. I knew a lot of shifters talked about the forest feeling like a second home. Their wolves talked about how it felt like being released to the wild, and I could understand it. It was lovely sitting out here. I could only imagine what it felt like to run freely through the trees and just be.

I closed my eyes and sighed, letting the wind blow against me. I pulled my hand up, rubbing my forehead, wishing I could figure out my magic. Couldn't something just be simple for me once? Why did everything have to be difficult?

"You look stressed."

I opened my eyes and spotted Jay standing a few feet away. His arms were crossed as he stared at me, looking relaxed. He was wearing a pair of jeans and a short-sleeve white shirt. He looked happier in the past couple of days.

"How long have you been standing there?" I asked, pushing myself off the trunk. Had he heard my conversation with Nessa? And if he did, just how much?

He smirked. "Just a minute. I was enjoying the view."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm getting a headache. I wish this magic was simpler. Everything I've read has only given me more questions than answers." I waved my hands at the books. "And there is nothing of use in here until I actually show my magic. So… it's just great. I'm getting nowhere with this."

Jay walked closer, picking up a book. "Where did you even go and get these?"

"The library. I need to return them later. I figured I would find something in them."

"And there is nothing useful?" he asked as he raised an eyebrow at me.

I shook my head. "Nothing that we weren't already trying."

"Well, how about I help," he said, taking a seat across from me. My heart skipped a beat as he grabbed a book, flipping it open. I couldn't help but feel a little happy, seeing he was just as invested in this as I was.

I stared at him, taking in his eyes as he read. I chewed on my lip, feeling joy. It was odd how far we had come already. I didn't want to be near him and now, I could lean on him and close my eyes.