Page 32

My bestie kicked me out of my own house without even saying why—and definitely not nicely.

Now I'm stuck pacing around the streets, trying to clear my fucking mind.

I was beyond pissed. About everything.

I couldn't think about anything else except that asshole being with Grace before I showed up.

And yeah, it's my fault. I spent the whole day hiding in my bed, and I wasn't there to stop it.

The guilt was taking over, and it was driving me insane.

The way he just existed around her—like he had any right to be close to her—made my blood boil, my fists clenching.

A text notification on my phone distracted me.

You can go back to your house now and stop acting like a jerk towards Grace.>> It was Lily.

That text was way too casual for Lily. i knew my bestie better than this.

Something happened. And deep down, I knew exactly what it was.

I turned around and headed back home, throat tight. When I pushed the door open, the living room was dim, only a small light on.

"Maya," her voice. Soft. Gentle. Cracking.

It cut through the silence like a breath of air.

And it was enough to make my heart skip a beat.

Grace stood in the corner of the room, like she was waiting for me, her body tense but her expression fragile.

I stopped in my tracks as she slowly walked toward me, her eyes filled with uncertainty.

My jacket was still on her, clinging to her like it belonged there. It did now.

"Can we talk?" she asked hesitantly, her finger pointing to the couch.

I nodded once, suddenly feeling something unsettling in my stomach.

I sat down, and Grace followed, sitting so close that our arms brushed.

"Lily told me everything," she whispered, her blue eyes holding mine.

"Everything?" I asked, tense.

Did Lily snitch on me?

"About Nick," Grace clarified.

I clenched my jaw, feeling a rush of relief mixed with guilt. Grace's eyes never left mine, and I wondered if she could feel the conflict inside me.

"I'm not mad at you for not telling me," she added quickly. "I get your feelings now, Maya."

I felt my heart pounding so loud in my chest, it felt like it might burst.

"You do?" I asked quickly.

Grace nodded firmly. "You don't have to worry. I know why you were so pissed off at Nick. I get it. I hate him too for what he did."

Oh.

My feelings about Nick.

I don't fucking care about Nick.

I didn't say anything, but my jaw clenched.

"Maya, I'm sorry for not believing you. I truly am," Grace's voice softened, breaking slightly. "I got so lost in his lies and manipulation that I couldn't see the truth..."

Without thinking, I reached out, grazing her arm gently.

She didn't flinch. If anything, she leaned in.

"Don't blame yourself, Grace," I said firmly. "What he did was wrong, and you had no way of knowing. You're not to blame, okay?"

Grace shook her head slightly. "But you tried to warn me, and I... I didn't listen. I shut you out, Maya—" her voice trembled with panic.

"Grace," I said, gently cutting her off as I moved closer. "I haven't been good at communicating with you. I should've told you."

Honestly, I'm the worst at opening up.

Every damn time I try, it feels like the words get stuck in my throat.

My fingers brushed her arm once again. "You're here now. That's what matters."

Grace nodded a few times, taking a deep breath. "I'm really happy I'm here with you," she whispered.

And then, her arms hesitated before moving to my hips, reaching for a hug as if she wasn't sure I'd let her—but I did.

I pulled her into a hug without a second thought, held her just as tightly, like I needed it too.

Her cheek rested against my shoulder, my hands gently rubbing her back. My fingers tangled in her hair, calming, soothing her.

I felt her melt into me.

God, how badly I wanted it.

My skin tingled. Her breath on my neck sent a slow heat crawling down my spine.

"You sure you're okay?" she whispered so slowly that I felt like I was about to burst.

"Yes, Grace," I didn't hesitate to say. "But are you okay?"

She pulled back just enough to meet my eyes. "Yes, I am," she said with a small smile. I could see how red her cheeks were. Cute. "Maya."

"Yes?"

My heart raced.

"There's something else I need to tell you..."

"Tell me," my voice came out too quickly, way too eagerly.

My hands instinctively tightened around her waist, and her hands slid down my thighs.

Shit.

"You don't have to take on the responsibility for what happened to Lily at all," her voice firm but filled with concern.

I shifted slightly, the weight of her words sinking in as I tried to push back the guilt threatening to surface.

"Yes, I know," I said eventually, but it didn't sound convincing.

"You really don't have to," Grace repeated, firmer this time. "It's not your fault—all of it."

Her words hit hard. My eyes flickered down to where her hands still rested on my thighs.

It was intimate. Yet natural.

A small smile tugging at my lips. "I guess I don't."

Maybe I really don't. Maybe I was never meant to carry this—not alone.

"Good," Grace whispered. "Because I get you, Maya."

Her hands gently rubbed my thighs as I leaned in closer.

Give me some self-control.

"You do?"

"Yes, I get you, Maya," she repeated, her soft eyes meeting mine again.

She really gets me. For the first time in a while, I don't feel like I have to fight so hard to keep it together.

Our eyes locked, and we just... stayed like that. Her hands never moved, and neither did mine. Not daring to break this endless hug—afraid to move, afraid to speak too loud and ruin it.

I might just stay like that forever.

"Nothing happened between me and Nick. Nothing. I didn't even want it to." Grace suddenly said, like she needed me to know.

I knew right away she was telling me the truth, and a wave of calm washed over me. My shoulders relaxed, but the weight of what I felt for her remained.

"Nothing happened between me and the girl that was in my room this morning," I said firmly.

Grace nodded. "I believe you."

The words felt almost too light for the heaviness in my chest.

"I was very frustrated—drank too much and ended up in that situation. It didn't mean anything to me," I added, my eyes unwavering as I traced her face.

This was my version of coming out, I guess.

Not that I needed one.

I've always gone for the best option. Girls.

Men make me sick to my stomach—to say the least. Ew.

"Maya, it's okay," Grace said quietly, her voice soft but steady. For a second, I thought she felt relieved, until something in her gaze shifted uncomfortably.

"I ended up in a bad situation when I hung out with Nick that night..." she said, voice trembling.

My hand moved up her back to her neck, like I needed to touch her, to ground her.

"You don't have to worry about it anymore, Grace," I said, my tone protective.

She nodded slowly, still not convinced. "I'm so glad nothing happened. Nick told me that—" she suddenly paused, noticing the shift in my face.

Something twisted inside me.

My expression dropped—dark, terrified. The calm I'd been holding onto slipped for a second.

"That he helped me get to my bed and then left..." she muttered, suddenly unsure.

I pulled away from her before I could stop myself.

Her hands slide off my thighs.

Grace blinked, alarmed by my sudden shift.

Something cracked inside me.

It's stupid—she doesn't know it was me, she doesn't remember it.

And telling her now—it wouldn't help. She already knows Nick's a piece of shit. If I told her I saved her from him, it'd only make things worse.

She doesn't need to feel violated again by remembering.

She'd feel guilty and scared for what happened. And I don't want that.

But I couldn't stop the sting in my chest. Couldn't stop the way it hurt.

It wasn't irrational, the jealousy, the anger—it was all consuming.

I stood up.

"Maya?" Grace called me, her expression alarmed.

I glanced at her, trying not to get lost in those beautiful ocean eyes of hers.

"Did I say something wrong?" she asked, worried.

"No."

"But—"

"It's okay, Grace," I insisted.

The silence spread, thick and heavy with unspoken words.

I wanted to scream—but I stayed silent, afraid of what would come out if I spoke. If I let it out, the frustration would take over, and she'd shut down again. And that's the last thing I wanted.

"Do... you want to... stay?" Grace hesitantly asked. "Maybe we can watch a movie together?"

God. Her voice. So hopeful.

I closed my eyes for a second too much. "Thank you, Grace, but I'm really tired. I'll see you tomorrow."

I could tell she was upset, but I couldn't find the words to make it better. For once, silence was the only answer.

It hurts me, but it's the only way to keep her safe.

"Okay... good night, Maya," she murmured, still keeping her eyes on me as I miserably walked downstairs to my bedroom.

There's no way out.

I'm a lost cause. I'm a fucking lost cause.

But if being lost means being close to her—then I don't want to be found.