Page 16

It was 2 am and I was still lurking Grace's instagram.

I don't even know why I'm doing this.

I mean, it's not like I have any reason to be all up in her business.

Her profile's basically a gallery of aesthetic photos—paintings, flowers, art galleries, creative shots.

And yeah, I guess they're pretty cool, but... come on, nothing special—right?

But then a photo hit me: Grace at sunset over the ocean, her smile, and those big blue eyes. I bit my lip, staring at it longer than I should have.

I keep scrolling, and there's no couple shots, no cute date selfies—nothing.

Is that on purpose? I mean, who doesn't post about their little boyfriend if they had one?

I mean, yeah, I don't, but that's because I'm not into them.

I pictured Grace with boys, and that thought alone makes me want to throw up.

What am I looking for?

Her profile's just... her.

And I guess I don't mind looking at her...

Wait. I stop scrolling.

It's not like I care or anything—not really.

I laugh to myself—let's not.

I forced myself to put my phone on the nightstand and went to sleep—if I could even sleep. My mind kept wandering to what happened tonight.

The way our hands intertwined together.

That strong feeling inside my chest like something was exploding.

My inability to let her go.

The way my eyes were fixed on her the whole time when they shouldn't have been.

I closed my eyes, but sleep never really came. I woke up way too early and decided to go for a run to stop... whatever was going on.

The more I let go of these weird thoughts, the better I'll feel.

Yeah.

I slipped into my black jumpsuit. The t-shirt was a crop top, and the pants were baggy.

I put on my usual playlist, but a song hit me more than it should— 'Say Yes To Heaven.'

I don't why, but it did.

My run turned out to be like a marathon, but those thoughts wouldn't let me go.

Out of pure desperation, I did something I'll definitely regret later...

I texted my best friend Lily, telling her to hurry up because I was waiting outside her building.

Lily's my pretty much my conscience... if only I listened.

It was 9 a.m., when she came out, looking half-asleep and stressed. Mostly because of me.

"You're insane, Maya. Waking me up on a Saturday morning? I hate you," the first thing out of her mouth.

She came out in pajamas and slippers, her long curly hair all messy.

"What the hell happened to you? Why are you so sweaty?!" she asked, her eyes wide as she looked at me.

It was rare to see me in such a messy state.

I never let myself be seen like this.

"I went for a run," I explained quickly.

"You've fucking lost it, Maya. Did you seriously run all the way here? That's like 3 miles for God's sake!"

"Probably, yeah..." I muttered.

Lily sat down on the porch steps, and I sat next to her. My legs and hands were shaking from running so much.

Or maybe it was something else.

"What's the matter?" she asked, more serious.

"I don't know, Lil. I feel weird."

"Yeah, no kidding." Her voice worried now. "Talk to me."

I let out a nervous sigh.

"Yesterday... I did something... something I wouldn't normally do..."

"Come on, tell me, quit avoiding it, Maya," she demanded.

I let out a shaking sigh.

"I told Grace that I work at the community center... and that's not all..." I just realized how strange it sounded coming from me.

"I took her with me. And... I actually had a good time. I—I felt very good," I said all in one breath.

I couldn't bring myself to look at Lily's expression.

"This is a big step for you, Maya," she said, trying to sound calm. I could tell she was just as surprised as I was.

I didn't say anything. I just stared at the ground, my mind still racing.

"Maya," Lily sighed. "I've known you forever. You don't just 'have a good time' with people. Especially not random people."

"She's not random," I muttered before I could stop myself.

Lily raised a brow. "Exactly."

I groaned and buried my face in my hands. "It's not like that, okay? I don't even know what it is. I just... I feel weird, that's all."

"Yeah, weird as in you ran miles to sit on my doorstep and freak out about her. You're in complete DENIAL," she said, leaving no room for argument.

Am I in denial? Seriously?

Maybe—just maybe—a little bit.

"I don't know what I'm doing, Lil," I admitted, my voice quieter. "This isn't me. I don't let people in."

"And yet, here you are," she said, nudging me. "Maya, it's not a bad thing. Maybe she's different."

"What does it matter? I don't even know how to handle this!" I replied, frustration building inside me.

Lily smiled softly. "You don't have to have it all figured out now. Just... don't run away from it. Whatever this is, it's making you feel something. That's a good thing."

I stayed quiet, her words sinking.

Lily was right.

I don't know how to make it stop, but in a way, I don't want it to.

It's so overwhelming—letting myself feel things I can't explain.

But I can't seem to let go, no matter how hard I try—it's stronger than me.

Lily gently nudged me. "Okay, psycho. Now what?"

I got to my feet, my legs still a bit shaky. "I need to go home. I need a shower."

Lily pulled a playful face, then opened her arms. I hugged her, feeling much more calm.

"Thanks," I said, smiling a little.

"Yeah-yeah, bitch, whatever," she laughed.

Then I decided to throw in a little tease.

"If I am really in denial, then I'm not the only one," I said calmly.

Lily tilted her head.

"Who?"

"You."

"Me?" She burst into a laugh.

"I'm talking about you and James," I grinned.

She stayed frozen, her body stiffened.

"Are you sure?" she mumbled after several seconds of silence.

I just nodded. My bestie stood up quickly, all-casual like, gave me a subtle nod, and with that, she went in.

That's exactly the reaction I expected from her.

Lily's still affected by past things, struggling to see how things really are.

But I hope she will get it someday.

I slowly walked home, still feeling tired and overwhelmed.

But that's okay, now, I guess.

I might as well stop running away.

~

I came back home having actually run miles and miles.

Nelly happily complimented me, surprised to see me like that. As I sipped my coffee, Grace came downstairs like she had the best sleep of her life.

Can't relate...

Her light brown hair waved over her shoulders, and she wore her short-sleeved pink pajamas that fit her stunning body.

She looked even more gorgeous.

She stared at me, then laughed: "It's raining or something?"

"Ah-ah. Funny." I shot back, pretty much embarrassed by how I looked.

And she saw me like this... but didn't seem to mind...

"Did you run the New York marathon this morning?" she teased again.

"Are you done making jokes about my running, or do you need me to write them for you?" I smirked.

She fell silent and hid another laugh.

"Hm. Just as I thought," I muttered, walking past her and heading up the stairs.

Grace laughed again. "Didn't know you were training for the Olympics, Maya."

I stopped and turned to her. She raised a brow, and I mirrored the gesture.

"Wow, that was so deep, Ohio... if you're in kindergarten," I teased.

Her soft laugh followed me up the stairs.

Her laugh...

Before I reached the bathroom, smiling like an idiot, my father walked toward me. I quickened my pace, but he stopped me.

"Maya," he said, all serious. "Come into my room. I need to tell you something."

Not even, 'Good morning, Maya' , 'Did you sleep well, Maya?' , 'Is everything okay, Maya?'

No.

"I have to take a shower," I replied annoyed.

"You can take it later. First this," he said, giving me a look before turning and walking toward his bedroom.

I reluctantly followed him, and leaned against the wardrobe, arms crossed, legs crossed, my gaze fixed on an undefined point.

That room felt hollow without my mom.

I rarely stepped foot inside since her passing—it was too much.

"Tonight, we're having dinner here," his tone firm. "And I want you to be completely prepared to be nice, kind, and not rude or disrespectful."

"Yeah, do whatever you want. You know I passed the phase where you can still scold me like a child," I replied, my voice sharp as I headed toward the door.

"I'm inviting the Crawfords to have dinner tonight," he added.

I froze, my heart racing, dropping into my stomach. Anger hit me, and I abruptly turned back to him.

"Why?! Why would you do that?!"

"Derek Crawford is my friend," he said carefully. "And I want him, his wife, and his son to meet our new family members."

Rage rushed through me and I was about to explode like a fucking bomb.

"Did you forget what his son did? Did you forget that?!" My voice raised with fury.

My father sighed. "Lower your voice, Maya. And no, I did not forget that. But I do think he's a better guy now."

"No, he's not! He's the massive asshole I know, and I won't—"

"Maya," he cut me off, his voice stern, "I'm not asking you. As your father, I'm telling you—don't misbehave with them like you did in the past."

I left the room and slammed the door shut so fucking hard that the wall trembled. I stormed into the bathroom.

My father still doesn't have a fucking clue about the damage that asshole caused and how much it's still affecting everything.

He still has to pay for it.

And the worst part? Grace doesn't know. She doesn't know what happened. She doesn't know the thing he did that he shouldn't have done.

I get this feeling when I see them together, like something just snaps—like I'd tear everything apart.

I shouldn't be mad at Grace for this, but my nerves always get the best of me.

And tonight... I'd have to watch their little situationship or whatever the hell it was.

Who's going to stop me from exploding?

'Cause that asshole is gonna pay for everything.

And I'm about to get revenge, sooner or later.