Page 46 of Heartless (Scathing Hearts #1)

Sienna

Goodbye, house. I kept my gaze on the rearview mirror until the house disappeared, and I couldn’t help the tears swelling in the back of my throat while we drove away.

Jake glanced at me, and I pushed my back against the leather seat, preparing myself for the talk I’d been trying to avoid. But he just returned his gaze to the road, and I breathed out slowly.

“There’s a car following us but it’s not Ruiz’s.”

His mouth curved up. “He’s ahead of us.”

“Is it Kelly?”

This time, his brow quirked. “She told you?”

“No, but she’s way overqualified for reception work, and she happens to always need bathroom breaks at the same time I do. When did you hire her?”

“After the cemetery.”

I actually felt safer, knowing people were watching over me, so I told him as much.

“Good, baby.”

The pause stretched, and I clutched my fingers, but the ride continued in comfortable silence. That was until I recalled Bianca.

“That kiss is one of the sexiest things I’ve ever seen.”

Jake’s lips twitched. “Harsh for my ego, baby.”

Giggling, I shifted toward his relaxed profile. “Your ego’s safe. What I mean is when we kiss, I’m... well, you know. But I don’t see it.”

A low hum rolled out his throat. A shiver-inducing hum. It was time to deviate from that particular track.

“Did you know Willie used to sneak into your dad’s room and talk to him?”

“Yeah?”

I relayed my lovely conversation with the old charmer. “I think it’s nice that your father had company, don’t you?”

“That’s what you were talking about at the memorial?”

“I want to visit him. Dr. Nuys has agreed to get me a visitor’s pass, but I wanted to check if you were okay with me doing that.”

“Your relationship with the old guy has nothing to do with me, baby. You don’t need my permission to visit him. I’m all for it, and I think that’s very kind of you.”

I smiled at his profile. “It’s only part kindness. He was in the Navy, and he has tons of stories. He’s nice and funny, but his children don’t visit him. One is on the other side of the country and the other, his daughter, hasn’t spoken to him in years, so it’ll be good for both of us.”

After that, we talked about his father and our jobs for the rest of the trip.

****

Jake followed me into the condo and set my suitcase against the wall in the hallway. My heart had started racing in the elevator, and I took a deep breath as I flicked the light on and headed for the back counter.

“Would you like a coffee or a drink?”

He slanted his back against the island and crossed his ankles. “I’m good, baby.” While I kept my back to him to switch the kettle on, he said, “I want to talk about you.”

Back to facing his hyper focused gaze, I took a deep breath, which did nothing to quiet the tumult raging in my heart. “I think you know everything there is to know about me.”

“I want to talk about us.”

There we were. I straightened my back. “There’s no us, Jake, and I’m not discussing Matt.”

In one of his giant steps, he was close, and his warm hand curled around the side of my neck.

That felt too good. I shifted back, and he put his hands in the pockets of his jeans.

The bass of his tone unfurled in the deafening silence. “I was an asshole.”

I took a deep breath. “Yes, we’ve ascertained that.”

“I shouldn’t have said what I said to you. I didn’t mean any of that shit.”

My whole body screamed as I looked into his eyes. “Jake, I know you were in pain because of your dad, but you burst into my... your condo, took one look, and you called me a whore. A whore.”

He flinched, but I ignored it. “Even if I had slept with Matt... even if I had slept with a dozen people, it wouldn’t make me a whore unless I had sex for money.

But you were hurt, and the first thing you did was hurt me.

And in just a few words, I was a Morrison, a whore, and soon to be homeless.

” I took another deep breath. “I know you have more experience than me at the whole relationship thing, but if that’s what—”

“I’ve fucked more people, but they were not relationships, and they knew exactly where I stood. Baby, everything about you is new to me.”

Oh God, his expression made me want to be in his arms and stay there.

My heart squeezed. “Jake, every time you hurt me, I have to pick myself up and choose to trust you again. If I stay with you, am I supposed to brace myself in case you lash out when something bad happens or when you misread a situation?” Tears stung the back of my eyes.

“I know you care about me. I know you’re physically attracted to me, but you’ve taught me not to expect you to protect my heart.

” I cleared my throat, but my voice still came out shaky.

“ And the truth is I want to be with someone who will. And that’s not you. ”

Leaning close again, his eyes locked onto mine.

“Coming here fucking hotheaded was fucking wrong, baby. No excuses. But I fucking swear it, Sienna, it’ll never happen again.

” Both his hands curved around my face, and his voice was gruff.

“I’ve been an asshole all my fucking life.

.. and you...You bring me so much beauty, and I don’t know how. .. I’ve never had that.”

I dug my nails into my palms. Taking an agonizing step back, I shook my head. “I’m not putting myself through that again.”

The slight jerk of his body was painful to witness. “Sienna—”

“I’ve started looking for an apartment, and in the meantime, I’ll pay rent. I should be able to afford the condo until—”

“No, you fucking won’t.”

I gasped. Jake got close. His warm hand curved around the side of my neck, and I just stared. “I was destroyed, and I needed you. I’m fucking sorry for hurting you again. But you’re not paying...”

The thundering beats of my heart drowned the rest of his sentence. I was destroyed, and I needed you.

He was always so strong. An overwhelming force of nature. And the day he’d been in turmoil, he’d come to me. My mind scrambled, and my heart trembled.

“Sienna?”

I blinked at him. “Uh...What?”

“You’ll stay for as long as you want, and I’m staying close until you’re safe.”

The loss of his touch almost made me stumble. “All right.”

His eyes roamed my face for long seconds. “Get some rest, and I’ll see you on Thursday.”

“What’s on Thursday?”

His gaze softened. “I’m taking you to work.”

That must have been one of the things he’d said. “Oh. Okay.”

He pulled me to him and kissed the top of my head. Then, he was gone.

****

Jake

Driving back to the office after my meeting, I called Sile.

“Brother, what’s new?”

“When’s your flight to Italy?”

“Tuesday. Sienna hasn’t taken you back?”

I knuckled the wheel. She’d changed the rules of fucking everything, and she wasn’t even playing. “I’m working on it. Beer tonight?”

“You got it. Any news on the motherfucker?”

I stopped at the traffic light. “He’s taking his fucking time to die.”

“Cockroaches usually do,” he said before our call ended.

My cell vibrated. Kelly was calling, and tension gripped the back of my neck. “Sienna?”

“She’s fine. Just thought you might want to know we’re at Dr. Hailsham’s office.”

My gut caved in. Her next checkup was months away. “Is she sick? Why is she there?”

“She had an appointment with him, and she asked me to drive her. I texted you the address.”

“I’m on my way.”

Driving fast, I made the trip in half the time and parked in the full parking lot in front of the low-rise building. Past the sliding doors, I followed the sign to the office where I clocked Kelly seated in the deserted waiting room with a magazine flipped open in her lap.

The woman behind the reception counter smiled. “Good afternoon, Sir. Do you have an appoint—?”

I kept walking toward Kel, who got to her feet. “She got in ten minutes ago. I’ll be outside.”

“I’ll take her home. Thanks, Kel.”

On a quick nod, Kelly stepped out. The receptionist rounded her desk and waddled toward me with one hand on her pregnant belly and the other clenched around her cell. Staying a few feet from me, she adopted the careful tone of someone watching a non-patient pace in her reception area.

“Is there something I can help you with?”

“I’m here for Sienna.”

Her shoulders sagged, and she nodded. “She won’t be long.”

I took position by the wall facing the door of the office and drove my hands in my pockets. She wanted someone who’d take care of her heart. What if her heart—?

The door of the room opened on Sienna and an older man in a lab coat, and my body locked into place. She had her back to me but when he clocked me, he straightened up, which led Sienna to glance over her shoulder.

She blinked slowly before turning toward her doctor. “Goodbye, Dr. Hailsham.”

More tension tightened my shoulders. She wasn’t a kid anymore, but her tone was a far cry from the affectionate ‘Duncle Hailsham’ she’d talked about.

Once the door closed behind the doctor, my beautiful Sienna walked slowly toward me and lifted her shiny gaze to mine. “Thank you for being here.”

I touched the side of her neck, and her arms curled around my waist.

My tone came out harsher than I’d intended. “What’s wrong, baby? What did the doctor say?”

“Can we talk about it in the car?”

I cupped her face while my pulse hammered. “Is it your heart?”

Her brows knit briefly. “No, we were just... talking.” She shifted closer. “Can we go, please?”

I tucked her to my side and led her to the reception area. We stopped by the pregnant woman, who had stood up and was wearing a big grin while she rounded her desk to hug her.

“Sienna, it’s so lovely to see you again.” Her mouth dropped. “I’m so sorry we couldn’t make it to Caitlin’s funeral. Colin was sick, and with three children—”

Sienna touched her elbow. “It’s okay, Hannah, I understand. Thank you for the flowers.” Her smile dipped on the woman’s stomach. “How’s baby number four doing?”

The woman rubbed her stomach. “She’s our last attempt at a girl.” She giggled. “I love my thugs to death, but I need a little princess. Even the dog is male.”

They both laughed at that before Sienna curled her fingers around mine. “Hannah, this is Jake.”

“Nice to formally meet you, Jake.”

“Same here, Hannah.” I drew Sienna closer. “Baby.”

Sienna touched the receptionist’s hand. “I have to go, Hannah. Give my love to Colin and the boys. And I’ll keep my fingers crossed for a girl.”

“Keep your toes too. It might take that.” After another hug, she returned to her desk. “I’ve got you booked on November six. We’ll have—”

Sienna’s whole frame tightened. “Dr. Hailsham won’t be my doctor anymore. He’s recommended Dr. Bailey for my next checkup.”

The woman frowned. “Why?”

“I’ll let him explain,” Sienna replied quietly.

I caught her waist. “Let’s go, baby.”

After buckling her seatbelt, she swept a curl of hair that had fallen over her eye. “Do you mind if we visit my mom for a few minutes?”

What the fuck had happened? “We’ll stop at the flower shop on the way.”

“I brought her fresh flowers yesterday. I just need to feel her close.”

We rode in silence to the cemetery. Near her mother’s grave, I stayed a few steps behind, but she took my hand and pulled me to the tombstone with her. Her grip was tight, and her other hand curled around my wrist.

“Mom, this is Jake.”

A cool wind was picking up, and when she shivered, I pulled her close. “Let’s go home, baby.”

On the way to the car, a drop of rain hit my hand. Sienna lifted her face to the sky and whispered, “I love you, too.”

****

Sienna

As we drove away from the cemetery, I shut my eyes, only reopening them when Jake took my hand and set it on his thigh.

Drawing from the strength of his touch, I took a deep breath. “After my meeting with Joel, I called Dr. Hailsham to ask about being an organ donor. He confirmed some of what Joel had said: I was healthy enough to do it, but he was also reluctant because of the complexity of the surgery.”

My throat tightened. My fingers did too.

Jake responded with a quick glance in my direction. “I’m here, baby.”

I cleared my throat. “Since I was six, he bought me Christmas gifts every year that I was allowed to open before Christmas. He... he used to call me his little Kintsugi, like the Japanese art because he said my heart was mended with gold. He was my special, kind uncle who took care of my heart, and I—” I swallowed hard.

Jake kissed the back of my fingers, and I loosened my grip.

“I want children. At least two because if I die when they’re young, I don’t want them to... they’ll have each other. There’s a high chance that the CHD makes getting pregnant naturally a challenge.”

Jake’s gravelly voice filled the car. “You’ll have them and live to see your great-grandchildren.”

I hung on to his words for long seconds.

“We’re nearly home, baby.”

“Dr. Hailsham called me on Monday and said he’d done more research and wanted to give me the full picture.

” I turned to Jake’s profile. “Today he said his research concluded that I could go through the surgery and be fine.” I shook my head.

“He never says ‘fine,’ and the way he said it... his face... I just knew. I knew he was lying to me. When I asked him, he admitted that Nigel promised him tons of money for his hospital if he convinced me to go through with the donation.”

I turned my head toward the window. “I can’t trust him anymore. My duncle ...” My sentence hovered unfinished while the car veered into the underground parking of our building.

With my hand back into Jake’s, we entered my apartment.

He locked the door behind us and pulled me to him. “Come here, baby.”

I melted into his sheltering arms. He held me tight. Then he carried me to the sofa where he sat me in his lap, and I buried my forehead in the base of his throat.

I needed him.

And he was there.