Page 22 of Heartless (Scathing Hearts #1)

Chapter Nineteen—Where’s your family?

Sienna

The sensual strokes of Jake’s tongue made my lower belly spasm, and I fisted his hair to hold him to me. When his big hands curled around the back of my thighs, I looped my legs around his waist. His low grunt vibrated in my mouth, and my nipples pebbled.

Every inch of my skin lit up. Breathless, I yanked my lips from his. Jake’s wet kisses down the side of my throat burned through my whole body. God... Oh God. Yes.

As my back touched the window, the coolness of the glass jolted me out of the scorching haze.

You were easy.

Dull as fuck.

I clamped my fingers around his stubbly jaw, and my voice trembled. “Jake, stop. Please... stop.”

We locked eyes. His were smoldering. Tears burned behind mine.

His gaze roamed my face for long seconds before he set me on my feet. But he kept me close.

“What is it, baby?”

My throat squeezed, and I broke out of his arms. “I can’t do this... with you.”

His brows drew together. “Do what?”

“What I said to Nigel is as much for you as it is for me. So, please don’t...” I waved my hands between us. “Don’t do... this. I mean. You don’t have to do...to force yourself to become... physical with me.”

His scowl gave way to an expression I couldn’t read. “Physical with you?”

Dear God. I sounded like a prudish idiot. A knot strangled my chest, but I rolled my shoulders back. I was Caitlin Winslow’s daughter. A woman who’d beaten cancer three times. I could do better than this.

After a deep breath, I walked backward toward the sofa. He stepped toward me.

“Stop. Please, stop.”

He did and raked his hand through his hair. “Baby, I won’t hurt you.”

I shook my head. “But you already did, Jake.”

The clench of his jaw turned his face into stone.

At a safe distance from him, I exhaled slowly. Closure shouldn’t be so terrifying, and yet every cell in my body had frozen while fire was bubbling under the skin of my face.

I straightened my back. “I know you don’t care, but the too-quick orgasms and the... and the shitty blowjob...”

His words lashed through the storm raging in my head. His words were the storm.

“Sienna—”

“Let me say this.”

At his nod, I cleared my throat again. “Between my mom, my job and school, I only dated a couple of times, and... I’m... I uh...” Dammit, Sienna, just say it. “I have no sexual experience, Jake.” I forced the words out. “You were going to be my first.”

Jake’s head jerked. And the absolute stillness of his body was formidable. He shut his eyes while a muscle ticked in his clenched jaw.

His dark gaze hooked onto mine, and I forged ahead. “The intimate details you ridiculed.... The bet...”

I let the brutality of the next wave roll through me. I was still standing.

“You... made me feel ....” I sucked in a breath before facing him again. “The messed-up part is when you kiss me, my body can’t tell the difference.”

The energy vibrating off him weighed heavily in the room, and something akin to remorse crossed his expression. When he stepped closer, I shuffled back, and he stilled.

I had to keep moving forward. “I’ll fight Nigel with you. But please, stay away, Jake.”

His Adam’s apple bobbed. He watched me for long seconds, and his expression made my heart stutter.

“It’s your turn,” he said low.

I blinked. “My turn for... what?”

“You’ve taken care of your mother, and no one has taken care of you. It’s your turn to be cared for. I’m going to be there for you.”

My brain fogged. “There for me? Like... my friend?”

“If that’s what you need.” Gentle teasing mollified his voice as he inched closer. “I’ve met your friend, and I reckon I’ll be a slight improvement. I’ll be there for you, Sienna. In any way you need.”

The last thing I needed was a pity-borne friendship from the man my body was still hung up on.

“You don’t have to do that either. I was...” Too na?ve, too stupid, too... “I’ll get over it.”

The next second, he was really close. “That garbage you carry is mine. This shit is on me. All of it. And you’re the last person in the goddamned world who deserved the way I treated you.”

“That’s nice of you, but I promise, I’m—”

His low, attractive—damn him—chuckle cut me off.

“Baby, I’m a lot of things, but nice isn’t one of them.” The intensity of his gaze elicited a whole-body shiver. “Let me be there for you, Sienna.”

I held my breath and stared at him. Maybe... maybe if he kept his distance, it might be okay and... One could never have too many friends, right? So, after a deep breath, I nodded at Jake Rhodes. “All right. Friends.”

His hand curled on the side of my neck, and he touched his head to mine. “Whatever you need, baby.”

A shiver flittered over me. I should have told him that the way my body responded to his ‘baby’ was nowhere near friend-like, but I wanted to keep the endearment for a little while longer.

When his cell pinged, I jumped. He frowned as he peeked at his screen.

“I have to go. We’ll talk when I’m back.” He curled gentle fingers under my chin. “Okay, baby?”

“Okay.”

He pecked my head and stalked out of the room.

I watched the closed door for a long moment.

Then, it was like a cork popped. A wave of ideas and images flowed to my mind. I needed to write. There was no time for my notepad. Goddess Calliope was smiling down on me again. I ran the few steps to the library and turn the new laptop on.

After settling on the terrace of the bedroom, I wrote. My finger flew over the keypad until darkness shrouded me, and the soft spotlights along the balustrade of the terrace had switched on. A cool breeze kissed my skin, and I checked the corner of my screen. It was late.

As if my body remembered its basic functions, my stomach growled in hunger. I’d finished the bowl of blackberries I’d been snacking on while I’d been typing, and I was salivating for a toasted olive bread cheese sandwich.

I stretched my neck back to front and side to side and rolled my ankles to restore the blood flow before pushing on my knees.

Once inside, I set my laptop on the dining room table.

I eased the door to my quarters shut just as the muted clap of the front door closing disrupted the peace of the house. Jake was back. My feet moved before my brain could engage, and I rushed toward him.

By the time I reached the archway of the kitchen, he’d taken a few steps into the hallway. His eyes were hard, but a different type of hard. His chin jerked in an almost imperceptible nod, and before I had a chance to get unstuck, he disappeared into his part of the house.

I traipsed after him. The vast front room was bathed in the soft glow of the lamps reflected in the bay windows.

Jake stood with his back to me between the door jambs leading to another large furnished terrace.

I tiptoed across the wooden floor, the thick deep red rug on which laid a long, glass-covered coffee table, and past the elegant cream leather sectional and two armchairs.

His stance was rigid, and his hands were deep in the front pockets of his pants. My heartbeat quickened as I approached him.

“Jake?” He didn’t move. “Did something happen with Nigel?”

When he glanced over his shoulder, my breath caught in my throat. The grooves around his mouth were deepened, and his eyes... Oh.

“I’m good, baby. Go back to your quarters, we’ll talk tomorrow,” he said before shifting back to his previous position.

I padded toward him and kept going until I could loop my arms around his waist. I touched my cheek between his shoulder blades, and the hardness of his body turned into steel.

After a few seconds of his cemented stillness, I unhooked my arms. He didn’t want to be held.

I stepped back, ready to return to my room.

Jake moved then. He pivoted, and the next second, I was in his arms. I closed mine around him and listened to his heartbeat.

His hold tightened, and we stayed like this, cocooned in the dimming daylight.

“What’s wrong?”

It took several seconds before his chest slowly rose and lowered in a deep breath.

“My father’s in a coma. He has been for five years. Car crash.”

Nuzzling closer, I inhaled his masculine scent while my heart broke a little.

One of Jake’s big hands curled around my nape, and the pad of his thumb moved up and down at the back of my ear. “What’s your dad’s name?”

“James. James Adrian Rhodes,” he said quietly.

“What do you miss the most about him?”

He stayed silent for a long moment. And just when I thought the question might have been too personal, he said, “When he laughed hard, he sounded like he was choking. People would panic, which made him laugh harder.”

There had been a smile in his voice, so I melted further into his body.

Long minutes passed, and his arms spasmed around me before his guttural voice reverberated in the silence. “He’s deteriorating.”

I pressed closer. “Where’s your family?”

Another heavy pause ensued before his low voice vibrated against my cheek. “My mother died when I was seventeen. No siblings.”

Tears swelled in my throat. “I’m so sorry, Jake.”

His palm slid to the side of my neck while his thumb pressed under my chin.

“Baby.”

His lips grazed my temple, glided down my cheek, and I couldn’t help the deliciously long shiver that coursed through me, but as the corner of his mouth brushed mine, I slanted back.

“Goodnight, Jake.”

“Goodnight, Sienna.”