Page 18 of Heartless (Scathing Hearts #1)

Sienna

I stood under the warm shower longer than usual, but I couldn’t get warm. Last night’s full moon had been dazzlingly beautiful, so I’d taken my book on the balcony and read under the moonlight.

Now, while I shivered under the heavy spray, I was seriously regretting not having dried my hair beforehand.

After slipping on my yoga pants, a tank top, a sweater, my cardigan, and my thickest socks, I curled on my side on the sofa.

I should have stayed in bed, but my headache was getting worse, and my bones were cold.

Tea. I needed tea with tons of honey. And one of Camila’s magical hugs.

I got up on achy legs. God, my whole body hurt.

At the door, I paused, as I’d done every morning, but this time it was not to admire the majestic view from the family room but to stop it from spinning.

Holding on the smooth wall in case my wobbly legs gave up on me, I started the long trek toward the kitchen.

Maybe just a hug and Ibuprofen. Ibuprofen then hug.

I sensed Jake’s presence in the hallway before I saw him. Since he was taller than me, avoiding his eyes had been easy. All I had to do was keep my eyes half-mast, which wouldn’t be a problem today.

Every time you look at me, you do it with his eyes.

The wayward thought lashed through my shaky body, making the back of my throat burn. Today wasn’t a good day for these thoughts. Today, I couldn’t stop them.

Shitty blowjob.

A wave of renewed humiliation knotted my chest, and prickles of tears stung my nose. Focus on the hug, Sienna. Camila’s big, loving hug. My heart was drumming in my head. Just a few more steps.

A rectangle, flat box appeared in my line of vision a couple of feet ahead, and I sucked in a trembling breath. Now, I would have to let go of the wall to walk around it.

“Hi, Jake.”

God, was that my voice?

My heavy head spun, and I closed my eyes. I reopened them on big, black boots.

The warmth of Jake’s body was like a magnet, but I resisted it and stood as still as I could. He wasn’t moving. Maybe he hadn’t heard me.

“Good morn—”

“Sienna, what’s wrong? Baby, look at me.” Even his voice was warm.

“I’m okay. I just need Camila’s hug,” I croaked. And a whole bottle of Ibuprofen.

Strong fingers gently curled under my chin and pressed up.

“Fuck,” he muttered. Then his voice boomed, bringing shards of pain in my skull. “Cam, come here!”

My warm hug’s voice rose in the hallway. “What’s wrong?”

“Get the pharmacy box. She’s burning up.”

He was wrong, I was freezing.

Then, I was up, enveloped in strong arms and held against a solid wall of chest.

A warm chest. I needed more warmth. I pushed my face against his neck and looped my arms around warm skin.

My body rocked as it was carried back to my room where Jake sat on my bed and settled me on his lap.

Camila’s perfume drifted close. I shifted my sore body to reach for my hug, but my arms weighed a ton.

Her cool hand touched my forehead. “My sweet girl.” She frowned. “Jake, she needs a doctor.”

The light in my room was too bright, so I focused on her blurry, worried gaze. “Just... sleep.”

Before I closed my heavy lids, the room was plunged into darkness and Camila tiptoed out of the room. Two pills were placed in my palm, and a bottle of water was pushed into my other hand.

“Take these, baby.”

I did while his arms cradled me close. After I was laid down on soft sheets, the warmth of his body started moving away.

Twisting my fist in the material of his t-shirt, I held on. “No... please. Cold. I ... I’ll close my eyes...I’ll—”

The warmth came back and wrapped all around me. “Shh. I’m not going anywhere. Just rest, baby.”

I twined my arms and legs around him while pressing deeper against warm skin.

And I wasn’t cold anymore.

****

I woke up hungry. Thin threads of sunlight were seeping through tiny gaps of the draped blackout shades.

After a long stretch, I rolled out of bed, went to the bathroom, and splashed cold water on my face.

My trip to the kitchen was a lot easier this time.

I arrived under the archway to find Camila with her back to the stove, chatting quietly to Silas, who was at the kitchen table while Jake’s shoulder was slanted against the fridge.

When everyone’s attention landed on me, I staggered back. “S-sorry, I’ll come back later. I don’t want to make anyone sick.”

I pivoted toward my quarters. Someone caught my arm from behind, and I twisted to face Jake’s chest.

“You’re going to get sick,” I reminded him while pulling my arm out of his grasp.

“Sienna, you slept in my arms for hours this morning.”

Hours?

“Oh...Sorry about that. I—”

His hand curved around the side of my neck. “Sienna, look at me.”

I kept my gaze down and started explaining the reason why I’d zoned out earlier. “I’m sorry for this morning. I had a bath last night—”

“Stop apologizing, baby. Look at me.”

My fast heartbeat climbed up my throat, rendering my scratchy voice breathier. “Sorr... I wanted to read—”

His second hand joined the first on the other side of my neck.

“Sienna, I scared you. I...I fucking hurt you.” He paused, and his big chest rose and depressed slowly. “What I said to you was fucking filth, and it had nothing to do with you.”

My throat squeezed. “But my hair was—”

“Look up,” he whispered.

To my utter humiliation, a tear escaped from my left eye. “My hair... my hair was—”

“Sienna, baby.”

I shook my head. “I don’t want to see.”

His voice lowered, and he somehow got closer. “See what?”

A cold shudder snaked down my spine. “The... disgust.”

And the realization I was who Nigel and Gabby thought I was. An unsexy, boring girl, desperate for a family. A girl who thought she knew better, but did not have the first idea about romantic love. Or men.

His hands convulsed against my skin and his voice was gruff. “Baby, open your eyes.”

“I don’t... I don’t want—”

“Sienna. Please.”

Pinching my lips to stop the trembling of my chin, I did. He wasn’t frowning, but his intense gaze was locked onto mine.

Swallowing hard, I stared. He’d never looked at me like that. Never. It was almost as if he... I blinked and tipped my chin down. Jake Rhodes had too many facets, and I would stay away from that one too.

He touched his head to mine, and the rumble of his low voice fanned on my lips. “It wasn’t you, Sienna.”

Jake drew back to watch my eyes again, and I lowered them again. “It was me ... g-gushing over your fingers.”

His bass voice was a ragged whisper. “I’m a motherfucking asshole, baby.”

Yes, he was, but I still had to force myself not to hold on to him.

“I’m hungry,” I murmured.

Shifting back, he took my hand to lead me back to the kitchen.

Camila was the first to come to me. And I finally got my warm hug.

She cupped my face. “It’s my fault. I knew the delivery kid was sick when I let him into the kitchen. How are you feeling?”

I smiled at her. “Hungry. So, I guess that means I’m better.”

Silas stood up “Come here, sweetie.” He pulled me in his arms and planted his worried eyes in mine. “How are you doing?”

“I’m okay.” When the concern in his frowning gaze remained, I said, “It was silly. I had a hot bath then I wanted to read under the moonlight, but my hair was still wet.”

His brows knit. “You wanted to read under the moonlight?”

While I nodded with a chuckle, Camila’s amused voice bossed.

“Sia, sit. I made chicken soup.”

My mouth watered, and I turned to Camila. “With your olive bread?”

The beautiful brown of her eyes softened. “Of course. I know it’s your favorite.”

“While you do that, we’re going to set a TV in your quarters,” Jake said.

Still a little off-balance by what had happened in the hallway, I opened the cupboard to grab a bowl.

“Thank you, but you don’t need to do that,” I said to the mountain of soup bowls.

“How are you going to watch your horror shows?” Silas asked from behind me.

That made me giggle while I pushed my hips onto the edge of the counter. “They’re not as much fun by myself.”

Camila gasped. “Fun? How can you watch those and sleep at night?”

I rolled on the absolute tip of my toes, extended my arm, and lengthened every muscle in my back. “Because they’re fake and silly. The horror of everyday life is far much scarier.”

Silence befell the kitchen while I stretched my whole body, but my fingertips only managed to graze the third bowl from the bottom, and I had to admit defeat. I fell back on my heels, and I was about to ask for help when a warm body brushed my back, and a big hand easily snagged the top bowl.

“Here,” Jake said as he placed the cool ceramic in my hands.

“Thank you,” I said to his throat.

For the second time, he hooked his fingers under my chin to tilt my face up. Only when our eyes met did he reply, “You’re welcome.”

It was just a soup bowl. My body reacted to a freaking soup bowl.

I’d learnt how to live beside asshole Jake, but this gentle Jake was scratching at my mind.

I took a deep breath. While the men exited the kitchen, Camila took the bowl from me and served two huge ladles of the yummy-smelling soup she brought to the table. I needed an upside down perspective.

“What?” Camila asked over her shoulder.

I’d spoken aloud. Warmth crawled up my face as I sat down and explained. “When I felt stuck, my mom used to make me lie down on my back on the floor with her, and we would look at the world from there. She called it an ‘upside down perspective’.”

“Your mother was wise, but there’ll be no thinking until you’re well. Eat, sweet girl.”

I caught her retreating hand. “Thank you for taking care of me, Camila.”

She squeezed my fingers. “My pleasure, Sia.” She chin-pointed at the soup. “Now, eat.”