Page 59

Forty-Six

Stella

“I look good in a hospital gown; don’t you think, Nurse Roberta?”

“You look like someone who needs to calm down.”

“That’s a yes.”

“Get back in that bed.”

“Seriously,” Gus says, “get back in bed, man. You’re flashing your bare ass to all of us, including poor Nurse Roberta.”

Teddy climbs back under the covers obediently. I stand in the doorway watching this scene unfold.

“It’s a very nice ass, okay?” Gus adds. “Happy now?”

“Delighted.”

“Are you going to eat that pudding?” Zoe asks.

It feels like old times, but everything is different.

I register the moment that Teddy sees me, the way his expression changes.

Zoe and Gus turn around and spot me, then they act weird and slink out of the room with some sort of made-up excuse about needing oyster crackers to go with the pudding and really needing to find some deodorant.

Zoe catches my eye on her way out and gives my hand an encouraging squeeze.

The inertia is difficult to overcome. I stand, fixed in the doorway, for what feels like a long time.

“Well, this is awkward,” Nurse Roberta says. “I think I have a few urine collection bags that need to be emptied.” She brushes past me, and the movement jars me into motion. I step into the room.

“I’m sorry,” I say.

Teddy pulls his blanket up. “Don’t do that, Stell.”

“I really am. I was just angry and upset. I didn’t mean what I said, and I definitely didn’t mean for you to go out and get hurt.”

Teddy looks at me. “I know you didn’t. You are a kindhearted softie underneath it all. Look, I deserved what you said. I messed things up massively. With me and you and Huck and you. I never should’ve gotten involved.”

“I get it.”

“I’m an adult, Stell. I need to start acting like it. I could’ve told you I had feelings for you at any time and left it up to you to make your choice. Instead, I tried to manipulate the situation, and you, so that I was the only choice. You were right, a friend wouldn’t do that. That sucked.”

“Kind of,” I admit, perching on the edge of his hospital bed. “But I’m still your friend. And I’m really glad that you’re okay.”

“Actually, I’m not.” He looks down at the covers, and I bite my lip, braced for bad news. “The doctors say that I am…a giant asshole.”

“Jesus, Ted!” I whack him on the arm.

“Fair. Sorry. I’m just a little heartbroken, and semi-traumatized by this experience.

I need humor to cope. Besides, I’m pretty sure Nurse Roberta put something in my IV line.

And I did not like being alone with my thoughts in that hyperbaric chamber.

I don’t do alone, and I don’t do thoughts.

Especially of the contrite nature.” He smooths his blanket.

We’re quiet for a stretch.

“I really wanted you to love me back, Stell.” He sighs.

“I know.”

“To be clear, what happened…that was an accident. Zoe’s already given me the cry-for-help lecture.

It was nothing like that, I promise. I just thought I’d go out and try to find the Heart, that maybe if I did, you’d forgive me.

I wasn’t feeling good and I started to head up when I blacked out.

I guess Huck’s right that I take stupid risks sometimes.

I mean, I risked my friendship with you, with him, and myself all in a span of twenty-four hours. ”

“That’s pretty impressive, even for you.” I smile at Ted and lean close to kiss his cheek.

“I heard someone had their pudding stolen by a pregnant lady and could use a replacement.” Huck’s standing in the doorway holding out a pudding cup. Teddy looks at him and that pudding like he’s offering up a $500 million rare red diamond heart.

“You look like you lost a fight,” Ted says.

“You should see the other guy.”

“I hear that guy is really sorry about the things he said, and for putting you in such a shitty position. He’d get it if you didn’t let this one go.”

Huck shakes his head, then walks over and wraps his arms around Teddy. “I’m just glad you’re alive, man. If you can get past it, then I definitely can.”

“Hell yeah. It would take more than a fight over some girl to break up our lifelong bromance.”

“Wait a second!” I gasp.

“ Some girl was a poor choice of words,” Ted says. “One amazing woman?”

“That’s not it…Huck said a pregnant lady stole your pudding cup.”

“I did say that.” Huck’s mouth curls into a grin.

“Zoe’s pregnant?!” I cover my face with my hand. “That’s why she never dived, and was mainlining saltines and wearing those caftans the whole time? How did I miss that?”

“I mean, you kind of missed a lot of really obvious stuff,” Ted says.

Then he laughs, a full, deep, mischievous Teddy laugh that is so glorious I want to cry.

He’s going to be fine, and we are going to be okay.

“No wonder you dragged us around looking for the same treasure for so many years…so much of my youth and my bank account squandered by your obliviousness…”

“Hey!”

“I wouldn’t change a thing,” he says. “Except, you know, like a couple of minor details.”

I lean over and squeeze his face in my hands.

“I take it by this affectionate gesture that you forgive me.”

“I hope you don’t mind me saying this, Ted, but I hear Clark Casablanca was half your idea and I know you love this line so it seems only fitting to tell you that”—I lean close and whisper—“?‘you’re a devil, who often deserves to have some sense delivered by the smack of a delicate hand. But I’ll forgive you every time. ’?”

“Now, now,” Ted says. “While I’m over the freaking moon to know that you forgive my past and any future indiscretions, and I did indeed cocreate the famous Clark so I’m quite fond of him, I’m still a little raw here for you to be quoting Sully’s books at me.

Frankly, I don’t know that mean suits you, Stella.

And you don’t want to upset Nurse Roberta.

I think she’s got a little crush on me.”

“Smart lady,” I say.

“Should we call her in so you two can be alone?” Huck asks.

“Now don’t get sassy there, Sully. I’ve keenly observed Nurse Roberta when she gave me my sponge bath and I’m fairly certain that she’s got a better right hook than I do based on her forearms.”

Huck grins and holds up his hands in surrender. “Point taken. I’m glad you’re alright, Theodore. You had us really worried there.”

“ Us? C’mon, guys. Give me a little time to get used to this before you start pet-naming each other.

I promise, by next season, I will be fully on board with whatever this is.

Who knows, maybe I’ll bring my own guest star on the next search.

Huck, didn’t you say you knew Scarlett Johansson?

What do you say, guys? Next summer—Blackbeard? ”

I turn to Huck and bite my lip. “Actually, I think I might be done searching for a while. I’m ready to find my own thing.”

“You?” Teddy exclaims in total disbelief.

Huck steps over and threads his fingers between mine. “I was just thinking the same thing. You know what might be nice? Spending some time getting booped on the leg by Icelandic sheep.”

“Life-changing, even.”