Page 56 of Heart Marks the Spot

Forty-Three

Stella

Teddy is a seasoned diver. He knows not to dive alone, not to dive when his senses are dull and he’s tired, to stay out of the water when the winds are strong and the seas are rough and visibility is low. But he’s already tested his limits once this trip. And then we fought.

And now…his gear is gone.

My words from earlier echo in my head above the howl of the wind. I never want to see you again.

Gus and I look at each other for a single beat, one squeeze of my heart, and launch into action.

Buoyancy compensators are pulled on, feet shoved into fins, masks grabbed.

We check each other’s tanks and then we step off the boat and plunge into the churning waves below to find him.

We don’t hesitate. We don’t think about the risk.

We are seasoned divers too. We know it’s not safe to go, but what we are is so much more than that. We are Teddy’s people. His friends, his family. The people he loves. The people who love him. Even if he hurt me, even if I hurt him.

It’s all going to be fine because it has to be.

We head straight to the site—it’s the only place he’d go.

The visibility is shit; clouds of sand make it hard to see my own hands in front of me. Gus and I work to stay in sight of each other, but we can barely manage that. I pull out my flashlight, hoping it will help. The rhythmic sound of my breathing does little to drown out my panicked thoughts.

I never should have said those things to Teddy. Teddy, who has been taking care of me for years. Bringing me into his family. Supporting my dreams. Struggling in silence. He loves me and I was vicious.