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DORIN
The first thing I do when I get back is to search for Zoltan.
I have a nagging urge to go check on Lavinia in the padded cells, but I tell myself it’s just out of habit.
Chances are she won’t be in her cell.
If she’s even here, she might be with Zoltan, and I’m not giving him a minute longer to hurt her.
Once again, nothing is like I thought it would be as I pick the lock on the suite assigned to Zoltan at four in the morning.
Barging in, I find the room dark and the son of a bitch sleeping peacefully.
He sits up with a start.
“What the hell are you doing in here?”
“Where is Lavinia?” I ask, watching him closely from across the room.
I’m not making the same mistake as with Jan, killing him quickly.
With this fucker, I’ll take my time, make it slow and painful.
He’ll suffer ten times as much as Lavinia did at his hands.
“I should ask you the same thing.” He stands up to face me straight on, arrogant and reckless in believing he has any say here—that he’s safe.
“I want her now .”He shoots his finger toward the ground in a demanding gesture.
“I paid a fortune, and then you idiots take her away. You’ll lose so much business over this when I tell my contacts how unprofessional this place is.”
I stalk toward him, and I almost laugh as it slowly dawns on him that he probably shouldn’t speak to me like that.
He remains in place, but I can tell it’s a struggle as his chin goes higher and his posture goes unnaturally straight.
This guy may think he’s seeming all confident and powerful, but I can smell the fear rolling off him.
My cock stirs in my pants as I grab him by the throat and lift him into the air.
“What the hell are you doing,” he demands, but his words come out wheezy, and his brave facade crumbles as I squeeze, allowing him only just enough air to remain conscious.
Panic makes his eyes go wild as he grabs on to my hands and digs his nails in.
I grunt at the delicious sensation as he breaks my skin.
It makes me feel alive, and my cock swells at the feeling of his desperate, futile struggle.
I hold him in the air for a minute, imagining his screams as I break in his ass and snuff out the last flicker of his pride.
But I have lots of other things I want to do to him before that.
First, I need to stow him away somewhere he can’t escape, and then I need to go find Lavinia and feel her in my arms.
Releasing him, I deliver a punch to his face that knocks him out before he can find his footing.
Then I fling him over my shoulder and carry him down to the dungeon, where I throw him into a cell.
I strip him of the few clothes he’s wearing, shove a butt plug up his ass, and chain him to the wall.
Finally, I make my way to the padded cells, relief calming the pumping adrenaline in my veins as I imagine having my songbird back in my arms.
But something nags at me as I press my finger to the biometric scanner.
Even as I open the door and see her lying on the mattress, I know something is wrong.
Her back is to me, and she’s lying completely still.
She’s not in the straitjacket, and my memory flickers to the night I found her biting her arm, nearly killing herself with the sheer force of her teeth.
I rush to her, turning her, looking for blood.
Looking for signs of life.
I don’t find any blood, but I don’t find much life either.
Her chest is moving, her pulse beating, but her eyes are vacant.
She doesn’t even look at me, not even when I grab her chin to direct her attention to me.
Her eyes remain unfocused, all hope—all life—gone.
“Lavinia.” I give her a slight shake.
“Say something. I’m here now. I’m not leaving you again. Not ever.” I don’t know what I’m saying; I have no idea how this will work.
All I know is that I’m keeping her, no matter what.
“Say something,” I repeat, shaking her a little harder when she doesn’t react.
She swallows hard as if grief is lodged deep in her throat.
It’s only then that I notice the bandage.
Right at her windpipe—her vocal cords.
Terror has my breath speeding as I grip the tape and rip the bandage off.
The small, clean cut on her throat looks harmless compared to everything I’ve seen.
But I instantly know what it is—who did this.
Only one person here knows how to do the procedure.
Fury unlike any rises within me.
My pulse hammers away as I lift Lavinia into my arms and hug her tightly.
“It’s okay. I’m here now. I’m here for you. Anything you need, I’ll give it to you.” I close my eyes hard at those last words, knowing exactly what she’ll want.
She sinks into me, her hands weakly grabbing on to my T-shirt.
Relief takes the brunt of the anger boiling inside me.
She’s not pushing me away.
She should, though.
This is my fault.
I’m the one who let this happen.
I left her.
I told Dax to put her on auction.
I did this.
My chest shakes as regret is about to get the better of me.
Grabbing Lavinia by the arms, I hold her out and aim my gaze straight at her.
“He’ll pay for this. Dax will pay. So will Zoltan. Anyone who ever hurt you will pay dearly. I promise you this.”
***
After holding Lavinia for a long time and putting the straitjacket on her, I go to Dax’s girl’s cell.
As expected, he has reset the biometric scanner.
I’m not sure what I’m going to do to her once I get to her—because at some point, I will.
But right now, I don’t need to know.
I’ll enjoy making plans while biding my time.
I can be patient when I want something enough.
And I’ve never wanted anything as much as I want to get back at Dax for taking Lavinia’s voice.
A stab of loss has me halting in my steps as I realize I’m never going to hear her sing again.
My chest tightens, and the world draws in.
I’m about to have a goddamn panic attack again.
Refusing to succumb to that helplessness, I let my fury steer me on.
I trudge to Dax’s office, slam the door open, and bark, “What the fuck did you do?”
“What she had coming,” he says with a calmness that is mostly fake, judging by the way he reaches for the gun in his waistband.
Fucking coward , doesn’t dare to take me on with his bare hands.
“You’ve fucking destroyed her. My girl!” I growl, tightening all my muscles to avoid going straight at him and risking getting shot.
If it wasn’t because Lavinia needs me now more than ever, I wouldn’t care.
“She cut what belongs to me, so I cut something of hers. Eye for an eye and all that. You grew up catholic, right? So you’ll understand.”
And I killed the fucker who preached those words.
I slam my fist into the cabinet beside the door, making a dent in the metal.
“You won’t see it coming, Dax.” I’ll fucking kill both him and his girl.
I’ll do her first, making him suffer for a while before I take him out.
“You won’t see it, but I promise you’ll regret it.”
I barge out again, slamming the door behind me.
I itch to go back to Lavinia and hold her in my arms, but I’m afraid my furious energy will only scare her.
There’s no way to keep it hidden right now.
So I do the only thing that makes sense with this fury raging inside me.
I go upstairs, get Rex, and run into the woods.
I have no idea how long we spend among the trees and the mountains, running endlessly.
Dawn is breaking when we get back, and I’m exhausted.
I just want to collapse on my bed and sleep.
But more so, I need to check on Lavinia.
She’s still lying stiffly on her back, staring at the ceiling, looking dead.
Even knowing there’s no way she can have taken her own life, I rush to her and check her pulse.
The relief I find at the slow beat barely does anything to relieve the pressure bearing down on my chest, though.
I can’t remember ever being this scared, not even when my father held a broken bottle to my neck for the first time and I felt the warm trail of blood as the sharp spears penetrated my skin.
“Lavinia, please look at me.” I wrap her head in my hands.
“Just look at me.”
No reaction.
I try a few more times, shaking her gently, begging her to watch me, but her eyes remain dead, her body unmoving.
With a heavy sigh, I give up, lift her up to sit, and take the straitjacket off her.
I position her in front of me, draping an arm around her waist to hold her in place as I scoop up a spoonful of the good beef stew only the trainers and guards get.
“You need to eat,” I tell her, holding the spoon to her mouth.
But no matter how much I press and prod, she won’t open.
Finally, I give this up too and move down to lie on the mattress with her in my arms.
She’s stiff and barely moving, but as I trail my fingers across her skin, rock her gently, and whisper soothing words, she loosens up.
At first, it’s only small twitches and shuddery breaths, then her chest starts shaking, and finally, the tears let loose.
Raw, voiceless sobs form in her throat.
The soundlessness only seems to intensify her grief to the point where she’s jerking with the force of her sobs and her breaths come in small, shallow gasps.
“Look at me.” I turn her around and grab her face between my hands.
“Look at me, Lavinia.”
Her eyes remain empty and unfocused, the seeping tears the only life.
Nothing helps as I shake her, slap her softly, and keep urging her to look at me.
It’s like she’s gone.
Her eyes go cloudy as she keeps hyperventilating, and helplessness becomes a sickening twisting in my gut.
I almost can’t breathe as I keep watching her—the girl I want more than anything, but can’t have.
Coming back here, I felt hope for the future.
I had no idea how things would work out—me with a girl—but it seemed right.
Suddenly, I could see what I had been blind to ever since the first time I saw her.
I need her.
But fate never was kind to me.
Or maybe I’m the one killing it with my darkness like I do with everything.
It doesn’t matter.
It’s too late.
Lavinia is gone, and as I look into those dead eyes again, I think I might not ever get her back.
Table of Contents
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- Page 31
- Page 32 (Reading here)
- Page 33
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- Page 40