Page 28

28

DORIN

I don’t know what’s happening to me as I leave Lavinia’s cell.

Anger coils tight in my muscles, and I feel out of control in a way that scares me.

I need to get out of here, or I’ll risk causing so much damage Mikhail will send me away for good.

On the way out of the dungeon, I pop my head into Dax’s office, relieved to find him at his desk so I don’t need to go looking for him, prolonging the risk of me fucking up beyond repair.

“I need you to add a girl to the auction tonight,” I tell him.

“Which girl?”

“248101.”

Dax lifts his brows in surprise.

“Number one? The girl who sings?”

“Just do it,” I snap, leaving the room before I break his nose for asking so many damn questions.

My blood pounds through my veins as I ascend the stairs to my quarters in the tower, taking two steps at a time.

My adrenaline is spiking, violence crackling beneath my skin.

I want to tear everything apart and burn this place to the ground.

Ten years ago, I would have done it, but I’ve learned enough self-control and found ways to cope.

Not bothering to change, I whistle at Rex, who comes bouncing off the couch, ready to go out.

I spend three hours in the forest with him, running, walking, sitting on the edge of a cliff and staring out at the untamed wilderness.

Then I run again, buzzing with new adrenaline and fury.

When I get back, I dump onto the couch, breathing hard.

My fists clench and unclench as I stare around the room, imagining all the destruction I want to wreak.

I glance at the clock.

Still five hours until the auction starts.

It’s a late auction today.

The buyers will start with a fancy dinner in the upstairs dining room, then free access to a few chosen girls in the dungeon before retreating to the auction room for drinks and a presentation of the girls that are up for sale.

I’m itching to go down to the fancy dining room and rip the throat of every last potential buyer that might end up leaving with Lavinia—hurting her and breaking her after I just healed her.

I consider doing it.

But then what?

I would be forced to leave this place, and Lavinia’s fate would just be postponed.

I consider going down there and simply snatching her away and keeping her for myself.

I could take her up here and tie her to my bed, keep her as my slave.

Or maybe let her wander about in my quarters, cooking, watching TV, taking Rex for walks.

The idea lights a spark in a place inside me that has always been cold and barren.

I go to my bedroom and imagine her lying there, her blonde locks spilling over my pillow and her milky white skin draped in my comforter.

The image is beautiful and soothing, but as I imagine time passing—days, months, Lavinia growing used to her new freedom and getting to know more ugly parts of me—the peace shatters.

Anxiety creeps in, crippling and clawing, tightening my chest and narrowing my windpipe.

Bringing her up here would give her a taste of freedom and normalcy—something she’ll never get with me.

That small taste would grow into something more, and she’d start to resent me for the things I do to her as the normal world came within her grasp.

She’d turn on me and see me for the beast I am.

Then she would hate me too, just like everyone else in my life always did.

Pressing my hands into the mattress, I lean forward as I suddenly can’t breathe.

My vision blurs, and a sharp pain tightens my chest.

I wheeze through the constriction, thinking this is it for me.

Rex comes running, rubbing his head against my leg, whining.

I reach my hand back to touch his soft fur—the only creature who has ever stuck with me.

I drop to the floor, heaving through my tight chest as I press my head between my knees.

Rex keeps rubbing his head against me, and feeling him close helps calm me.

I’m not dying.

It’s just panic.

I haven’t experienced panic this severe since I killed my father and freed myself.

I straighten, and my focus clears somewhat.

I need to get out of here .

I can’t be here while she’s getting sold, knowing I’m losing her.