Page 27

Lori

Seb held up his little mounted cobblestone to cheers from the spectators.

The novelty trophy for such a hellish race usually made me laugh, but I was a jumble of conflicting wants and needs as I stared at him from the back of the crowd.

I heard my mum’s voice in my head, talking about winners and losers and I had to get back control of my feelings somehow – and find a way out of this mess of my own making.

He wasn’t my boyfriend – he’d said it himself.

I couldn’t handle a relationship right now, especially not with someone who could put me in such disarray with just one kiss.

I knew I shouldn’t interfere with his career, but threatening to kiss him had worked, damn it! And my cheap fib about making a scene for the media? Actually, that was a great idea.

Scurrying after him into the team bus when the podium ceremony was over, I opened my mouth to say – something, I still didn’t know what – but he just grabbed an old duffle bag and squeezed past me again, his mouth set.

Huh, it turned out Seb could sulk. Was he upset I’d kissed him in public? Or that I’d told my family it was only for the cameras?

‘Seb?’ I called after him.

With a groan of frustration that I would never be able to let those questions go, I went after him, catching up as he stalked to the gate and pushed through without looking at me.

‘ Seb! ’

His earnest look from December flashed in my memory: the moment he’d made me promise we’d always be friends. For the first time that day, the consequences of my behaviour scared me.

‘Seb! Can we at least talk?’ I said, grasping his wrist, which made him hiss in pain. I knew from experience that he hurt everywhere . ‘I know you don’t like the attention, but don’t you see—?’

‘Is that what you think I’m mad about?’ he asked, giving me a sidelong glance – probably because his neck hurt.

‘Okay, I am really mad about that. If you’re trying to turn me into Gaetano Maggioli, I’ll have to disappoint you.

But, Lore, you should be focusing on your next race, not mine! After this year, I’m gone.’

Confusion rippled over my skin.

‘You’re more than just some guy’s girlfriend,’ he said emphatically. ‘You don’t need to use me to stay in the spotlight.’

‘I’m not—’ I cut myself off, worried he was right.

Seb’s sigh was deep and reminded me of my dad’s exasperated tone – Mum’s weaponised disappointment. ‘If you kiss me, I’d like to think you mean it,’ he said tightly.

‘I did!’ His gaze jerked up to mine with a flash that quickly dimmed to wariness.

‘I mean, I wouldn’t have kissed you if I hadn’t wanted to. And maybe the spotlight thing can work both ways. You could get sponsorship – a contract extension!’

‘I’m not looking for a contract extension.’ Of course, I’m not your boyfriend .

‘Why not?’ I cried in frustration. ‘You just came second in the Paris-Roubaix!’

‘It’s a pretty good way to go out with a bang,’ he insisted. ‘I’m your bad-luck charm, Lore – remember? You’ve got to remember that, otherwise I’ll end up kissing you again with everything I’ve got!’

How much I wanted another kiss was unfortunately the only thing that was clear to me in that moment.

He groaned and rubbed a hand over his eyes. ‘When you look at me like that, Lori… it doesn’t make it easier to walk away from you like I should.’

‘Why should you? We both know this can’t work long-term, but it is a great story for the media – the team.’

His expression darkened and my heart sank. There was definitely a winner and a loser in this conversation and my streak was obviously continuing.

‘It’s not in my contract, is it?’ he snapped.

‘No! I just thought—’ I hadn’t thought before I acted. ‘I hate feeling useless like this. The team is my family and, if I can do something to help, I will.’ And maybe I didn’t want him to go, but I wasn’t enough of a loser to tell him that when he clearly wanted out.

His hand closed around my upper arm – probably reflexively, but regardless of his motivation, it was lovely to have him touch me again.

‘You’re going to win again soon. But, even if it takes a while, you don’t have to sacrifice yourself—’ He cut himself off, his gaze caught on something over my shoulder.

I turned to see two older women in matching dull green parkas, standing by a dented little Renault.

His grandma peered at me curiously, but both looked ready to murder me in my sleep if I hurt him.

Oops. How much had they heard? It must have been obvious we’d been arguing. He dropped his hand abruptly.

Leaning close with a stormy expression in his gaze, he said the last thing I expected. ‘Look, don’t get their hopes up too much, eh?’

‘Their hopes?’

‘I never… bring girlfriends to meet them and we’re not… anyway.’

My brain froze on the word ‘girlfriends’ and that big fat ‘never’.

His grandma approached me first, hesitantly. ‘You’re Lori ,’ she said with meaningful emphasis that gave me goosebumps. ‘I didn’t know if he would admit the reason he spent so much time in his room in the autumn!’ Her accent was detectable, but her English was excellent.

‘You know about that?’ he spluttered.

‘Our boy goes from punishing training alone to talking all night and laughing – of course I know,’ she said with a twitch of a smile that caught me in the ribs. She added something under her breath in French that made Seb grit his teeth. ‘I’m Albertine,’ she said, ‘but you can call me Mamie.’

‘You don’t have to call her Mamie,’ Seb interjected.

‘You call your grandma “Mummy”?’ I asked.

‘ Mamie ,’ he repeated, correcting my pronunciation. I really hadn’t heard him speaking French often enough. The little pout in his lips gave me a whole new set of ideas. ‘It’s just French for “Grandma”. And this is my mum, R?sine.’

‘Don’t call me Maman,’ she said sharply, extending her arm for a haughty handshake that felt like a test I was destined to fail.

Seb tossed his duffle bag into the back seat of the Renault and I stupidly only then understood why he’d walked out to the car park. If he was going to eat with his family, would I even see him again tonight at the hotel? What about our conversation? I wasn’t done here.

Ouch, that word reminded me of December with a wash of something very much like guilt. Nothing between Seb and me was ‘done’. Everything I’d said in my fog of emotion had only made things worse.

He’d warned me off meeting his family. I should take the hint. But I couldn’t stand him thinking the best kiss of my life had only been for show – which was why, when he climbed into the dinky car, chaos muppet Lori dived in after him.

Seb

I could still feel the rough surface of the cobblestone trophy under my fingers, even though it was in my bag in the boot of the car.

The best result of my career – the scrappiest fight with the biggest payoff.

But I suspected the elation of hard-won success would always be twisted together with the heart-stopping touch of Lori’s lips on mine.

For the cameras. For the team. Maybe because she was attracted to me, but she wouldn’t admit it and that didn’t remove much of the sting.

She wanted to use me for whatever wild reason she’d come up with and the worst part was, I wanted to let her. She was sitting across the back seat from me, a storm in her eyes. When she lost, she came to me and my heart beat a loopy, syrupy rhythm when that thought curled up in my brain.

But no, the kiss had rattled me. I had a new life to plan – a gaping hole that didn’t need the addition of a gaping wound in my chest if I accidentally got attached.

She’d ghosted me once and, even though I understood the pressure she was under, I didn’t want a repeat of that when her form returned.

She’d leave me. Sooner or later – and later would only hurt more.

I leaned my head against the window as spatters of rain started up again, consumed by questions about why Lori Gallagher had jumped into the car after me and whether she realised where we were headed.

I assumed it had been something of an accident – one of her split-second decisions.

Were we kidnapping her? Taking her out of the country under false pretences? I would have felt more guilty about that, except that after Colin’s prank in the Pyrenees, I had no problem making him come and collect his sister from the countryside in Wallonia, damn it.

I could feel the questions from Maman and Mamie – lots of questions – but what was the point in insisting we were only friends when she’d kissed me senseless and was coming home with me?

If she really wanted to play out this public romance, we still had to talk.

For now, I was perversely enjoying Lori’s discomfort.

One of her legs moved restlessly and her arms were crossed as she gazed out of the window at the gathering dusk.

As much as I knew we didn’t work as a real couple, there was a real tightness in my chest as I looked at her.

I’d missed her face – her freckled, angular cheekbones, the firm set of her mouth.

Before the farce with the media and her family, today’s race had been the best of my life – not only because of the fight and the result.

Because she’d breathed life back into me at the end and reminded me to be proud.

I wanted to take her hand and lace my fingers with hers while we both looked out the window, sulking.

Her brow furrowed – not delicately, because nothing about Lori was delicate and I loved that about her. Her gaze snagged on the blue sign at the side of the road setting out the national speed limits with a big ‘B’ on top. As we cruised past, she kept looking, craning her neck.

‘You had a hankering for real Belgian chocolate and waffles?’ she asked, turning to me.

‘Hmm?’

‘You’re going to eat somewhere across the border?’ she clarified.

‘I grabbed a sandwich from the bus and we’ll eat later. We always eat Mamie’s beef stew when I’m home after a race. You’ll love it.’

It was so hard to keep a straight face as her eyes grew bright with alarm. She sent a panicked glance at my mum and grandma in the front.

‘It’ll be dark by the time we get to the farm, but I’ll show you in the morning, honey ,’ I added darkly.

She swallowed. ‘It’s just a shame you were so reluctant to introduce me to your family before now, babe ,’ she countered. ‘They’re lovely, as I knew they would be.’

I felt Mamie’s indignation, even though she didn’t turn around and my mum’s surprise was reflected in the slight kick of the car as her foot faltered on the accelerator.

‘I didn’t think you’d take the time from your busy schedule just for us.’ I winced inwardly.

‘Are you kidding?’ she responded, warming up to the pretence. ‘I’ve been dying to see this place.’

She sounded convincing and I was enough of a dork that my heart went ahead and leaped.

‘Don’t get your hopes up,’ I mumbled. After a few minutes of driving in silence as the tension in the car hovered, I leaned across the seat, my lips near her ear, and whispered, ‘You don’t have to come. I can explain everything and take you back – or call your dad.’

I lingered, hoping Mamie’s sharp ears wouldn’t pick up our conversation and that they’d think I was just nuzzling my girlfriend – not that that was something I had ever done in front of my family.

As the hairs stood up on the back of my neck, all I could think about was nuzzling. She smelled amazing: heady and vital.

‘No,’ she said simply, drawing in an unsteady breath.

‘No?’ I repeated groggily. I had to stop thinking about putting my lips on her skin.

‘I’m not going to call Dad,’ she clarified. I managed to lift my head and meet her gaze questioningly at her firm tone. ‘Look out, Seb,’ she continued, lifting a hand to my face. ‘You’re bringing your girlfriend home to the farm.’