Page 9 of He Taught Me to Hope (Darcy and the Young Knight’s Quest #1)

I t had taken all the good breeding that he could muster to summon the strength to maintain his countenance and cool equanimity in the face of such an alarming revelation.

Is this some cruel twist of fate? How can she possibly be married?

She has the appearance, the youthful spirit, and the innocent charms of a maiden.

“It is a pleasure to meet you,” he uttered.

“Indeed, it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance as well, Mr. Darcy,” Elizabeth said. She looked over to Bingley and his sister, “If you will pardon me, I am eager to see my sister.”

“Pardon me. Did you say your sister?” Darcy looked towards his friend for some sort of explanation.

“Yes, Mrs. Carlton is Miss Bennet’s younger sister; she is next to her in age,” Bingley explained.

Always a studier of people, Elizabeth easily could discern the thinly disguised dismay that registered upon Mr. Darcy’s face with Bingley’s pronouncement.

“Of course, you want to see your sister.” Caroline was immediately by her side.

“I will take you to her, myself.” Indeed, Caroline had a compelling motive for taking up the task of escorting Elizabeth from the room as quickly as possible.

She had seen the way Darcy had looked at Elizabeth, upon entering the room. Caroline was none too pleased.

Elizabeth entered the room to find her sister sleeping peacefully.

On the way up the stairs, Caroline had mentioned that Jane had not enjoyed a particularly restful night.

Seeing that Jane was now slumbering soundly, Elizabeth thought it better not to disturb her.

Rather, she sat in a comfortable chair beside a window and endeavoured to read the book she had brought along with her from Longbourn.

After several attempts at reading failed to garner her complete attention, she gazed out the window and allowed her thoughts to wander to the gentleman she had encountered earlier.

She had not quite recovered from her introduction to Mr. Darcy.

Lo and behold, the view from her window allowed her an undetected view of him as he walked towards the stables.

Clearly distressed, his shoulders slumped as if he had lost his best friend in the world.

She felt that perhaps she ought to have corrected his misunderstanding of her marital status.

What was I to say? I am not married; however, I am engaged to be married.

She reflected on the uselessness of it all.

Knowing how little he cares for my family, it must have been rather a shock for him to learn that I, too, am a Bennet.

Though Elizabeth sought to read her book, her thoughts inevitably returned to the one thing that most disturbed her composure.

Why am I even thinking of him? He is haughty, proud, and apt to think too harshly of those whom he deems his inferiors!

She briefly considered how his actions at the assembly, as well as his unmasked admiration upon entering the drawing room some moments earlier, undoubtedly suggested he had no knowledge of her being who she was.

His carelessly spoken words at the assembly clearly were not aimed towards me.

Nor had he intended them for Jane. I have to wonder who he supposed I might have been.

Signs that Jane was beginning to stir eased Elizabeth’s anxiety considerably.

Any thoughts of him quickly escaped her mind.

Elizabeth put her book aside and approached her sister’s bedside.

She sat down beside Jane, reached out to rub her forehead, and then rested her hand at her side.

Slowly, Jane awakened, grateful to see her sister by her bedside.

Lizzy poured a glass of water from the pitcher on the table by the bed and helped Jane sit up enough to enjoy a few sips.

She helped Jane settle back into the soft pillows.

“Dearest Jane, how are you feeling? Miss Bingley mentioned you had a fitful night.”

“Oh Lizzy, I feel extremely guilty. The Bingleys have been so wonderfully kind. I fear I am taking advantage of them.”

“I think you are quite mistaken, dear sister. Mr. Bingley seems pleased to be of service. Even his sister Caroline appears to suffer great concern for your well-being.”

Jane hated being a burden to her sister, but she also hated being surrounded by strangers at a time when she felt vulnerable and helpless. She smiled as a testament of what she had experienced as the truth in her sister’s words.

“It was very kind of you to come. I know it is an imposition to ask you here, and to take you away from Ben, especially considering the two of you have never spent a night under separate roofs.”

“Jane, you must not concern yourself over such matters. I have explained everything to him. Ben understands, and he sends you a heartfelt embrace.”

“He is very adorable, but you had better forego that heart-warming gesture, or we might both be beholden to the Bingleys’ hospitality.”

“Dearest Jane, I think Mr. Bingley likes you very much,” Elizabeth cheerfully responded.

“If only that were true,” Jane said wistfully. “Mr. Bingley is everything a young man ought to be.”

“Indeed, he is. Now, that is quite enough talking and smiling for now. Is there anything I can do for you?”

Jane told her sister how she could better arrange for her comfort, and Elizabeth gladly accommodated her every request.

In the meantime, Darcy’s thoughts were a jumble of mixed emotions when he came to the place where young Lancelot usually awaited his arrival.

He was a bit disappointed to find that the little fellow was not there.

After the double shocks of reality to his fanciful imaginings that morning, a few moments of light-hearted fun picking up where he and Sir Lancelot had left off with their make-believe fencing lessons would have been a balm to his battered composure and gone a long way in helping to ease the anguish of his disappointed hopes.

Then again, it was rather late in the day.

Darcy reckoned the young lad might have come earlier and simply had grown tired of waiting.

Darcy was in no particular hurry to return to Netherfield.

He decided to spend the afternoon in that very spot.

So much the better should his young friend happen along whilst he idled about.

The last thing he wanted was to spend time at Netherfield with her wandering around the manor.

Darcy had felt the danger of paying her too much attention, first at the assembly and again upon their formal introduction. He meant to make up for his past overzealousness with a show of inattention.

It is just as well that she is married and beyond my reach. Suppose she was not married—she is still a Bennet. How is that possible?

Darcy recalled the disparaging remarks made of the Bennets that Caroline and he had spoken just the night before, as she had imparted details of her conversations with Miss Bennet.

“I have an excessive regard for Jane Bennet—she is really a very sweet girl, and I wish with all my heart she were well settled. But with such a father and mother and such low connections, I am afraid there is no chance of it. Did you know she admitted to me just this evening her uncle is an attorney in Meryton? She has another uncle in trade who lives somewhere near Cheapside. Cheapside ,” she had mocked and then laughed heartily .

Darcy then reflected on his friend’s defence of the Bennets. “If they had uncles enough to fill all Cheapside, it would not make them one jot less agreeable.”

Finally, he recalled his own words. “But it must very materially lessen their chance of marrying men of any consideration in the world.”

Then there were all the things he did not need Caroline to tell him, for he had witnessed first-hand the lack of decorum displayed by the younger sisters, the mother, and even the father, at the Meryton Assembly.

Darcy could not help considering that for everything he found abhorrent in the Bennets, he found the opposite traits exemplary in Elizabeth.

She is extraordinary. She has bewitched me.

She is all that I can think of. She is all I want to think of.

Indeed, she is a goddess divine. Only, she is not my goddess, nor will she ever be.

That evening, Darcy was determined to compensate for his blatant display of regard towards Elizabeth by feigning indifference and ignoring the devastating effects on his composure wrought by merely being in the same room as she.

The mere thought that he had allowed himself to be so enthralled by another man’s wife was abhorrent to his way of thinking and his manner of conducting himself.

Elizabeth had joined them in the drawing room with a report that her sister fared no better than she had around midday.

Darcy made no response to her news, but rather continued with the task before him of writing a letter.

Caroline expressed her regrets with an assurance to Elizabeth that all that could be done would be done on Jane’s behalf.

Bingley’s countenance reflected his deep concern, and he eagerly assented to the sentiments expressed by his sister.

Elizabeth took her place on the sofa off to Darcy’s side and commenced reading her book. His rigid, forbidding posture confirmed her suspicion that he had learnt to think less of her with the mistaken knowledge of her marital status; that, or the undeniable knowledge of her family.