Page 104 of Hard Rock Muse

32

With two shaky hands on the steering wheel of my car, I blinked rapidly to force back tears. My tight grip made the leather squeak under my palms. That sour lump in my stomach had solidified into a steel ball, weighing me down heavily.

I couldn’t believe I’d been so stupid. Maybe Keith had been right about me this entire time.

Keith. My heart stuttered. I’d been so consumed with what he’d said about Julian, I completely forgot his other threat.

He was going to ruin my career. Again.

Was he just saying that to frighten me? Or was he serious?

I’d never known exactly what Keith had told people about me. Never knew exactly what rumors he’d spread. But from the minute I’d left him, I’d been a pariah in the music industry. Meetings were cancelled. Invitations to events were rescinded. People stopped returning my calls, or refused to take them to begin with.

There was always an excuse — their roster was full, they weren’t looking to sign anyone new at this time, they had their hands full with other projects — but it all amounted to the same.

No one would work with Ever Darling.

I drove aimlessly, without a destination. I didn’t want to go back home. Not yet. I couldn’t remember Abby’s class schedule, but I didn’t want to risk her being home and having her see me like this.

She’d no doubt try to comfort me, but nothing she could say or do would make any of this better.

Everything was falling apart around me, just like last time.

I suppressed a sob, tears threatening to fill my eyes again. I flicked on the turn signal and pulled over into the next parking lot I saw. Once the car was stationary, I rested my forehead against the wheel. With slow, shuddering breaths, I let the tears spill down my cheeks, not bothering to even wipe them away.

A knock on my window made me jump. I hastily used my sleeve to mop up my wet face and looked out the window.

Jessie’s concerned face was peering through.

Confused, I lowered the window.

“Jessie?” I asked, my voice still thick. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m just arriving for a late shift.” She nodded her head toward the back of the building I was parked in front of.

Without meaning to, somehow I’d found myself back at Walt’s bar. I wondered what my unconscious mind was trying to tell me. Maybe that it was time for a stiff drink.

“Are you okay?” Jessie asked, concerned. “Did something happen?”

“Lots happened,” I replied. “I don’t really want to talk about it.”

“Do you want to come in for a drink?” she asked.

I almost took her up on the offer, but if I started drinking I didn’t know if I’d stop.

“I just need to be alone for a while,” I told her.

“If you’re sure,” she said doubtfully. “The offer stands. If you want a drink, or if you want to talk, or even if you just want to come in and hang out, you’re more than welcome.”

“Thanks.”

I sniffled and ran my hands across my cheeks. My fingers came back streaked with black mascara. Great. Now I looked like a raccoon.

“Don’t tell anyone?” I asked her, pleading.

Her eyes softened. “Of course. If you need anything, I’ll just be in there.” She pointed to a dented metal door on the side of the building. “Just knock on that and I’ll come open it for you.”

With one more worried look, she left to go to work, leaving me sitting in the parking lot, alone. It was exactly what I’d asked for, but now that I was back to being by myself, I realized how lonely I really felt.