Page 9 of Hainn (Sectors New Allies #19)

CHAPTER NINE

T he feast in the evening was a revelation to Jezari. There was a huge bonfire built from driftwood, a firepit to cook certain of the creatures hunted for this dinner, as well as a big pot of water brought to a boil to steam mollusks like the ones she’d gathered. Badari didn’t indulge in alcoholic beverages, although Vindy had brought one or two for herself. Instead they drank a blended fruit juice concoction that packed a punch. Hainn began the evening with a prayer to the goddess, thanking her for the sea’s bounty and the singing of a paean, which he told her later came from the ancestral memory and their ancestors had sung it after successful fishing expeditions. There was much hilarity and telling of old stories from their previous life in the South Seas. Jezari had nothing to compare it to in her own past. She’d grown up in an austere lab on a mountaintop and while there’d been the occasional festive but decorous dinner to celebrate milestones which she and her sisters later learned were nothing more than ruses to bring each Daughter chosen for the life sucking pod into a tranquil state. Her food on the night of her ‘party’ had been drugged with special compounds designed to hook into her DNA and render her incapable of defending herself.

This rowdy nighttime affair didn’t remind her in the least of the phony and stressful event at the lab. This was fun and free spirited and genuine. She sat in the circle of brothers next to Hainn and thoroughly enjoyed the food, the drink and the company.

The best part in her mind came late in the evening when a drum was brought out by Stonor and the other Badari lined up in a clear stretch of sand and danced. Hainn sang to the beat Stonor pounded out and the other men chanted the choruses. The performance was fierce, with many strong movements and the warriors moved with their fangs and talons on full display.

It’s a mix, Hainn had told her right before they began, of ancestral memory of similar dances from the original Badari ancestors, to prepare themselves for war or for a big hunt and movements our own earlier Generations here had worked out to express their determination to survive and triumph over the Khagrish.

Technically Vindy shouldn’t have been allowed to watch the ceremony as humans weren’t invited to view Badari rituals and secrets but since she was their pilot she got a dispensation. She sat nursing her feelgood and clapping along with the drumbeat.

All Jezari knew was the music and the dancing got her own blood surging. She was caught up in the emotions and when Hainn held out his hand to her she jumped up to join the line and pound out a final dance with them. She could easily imagine herself back in time, dancing with the Badari ancestors, long before the Khagrish arrived to sow terror and death. She gave herself up to the hypnotic dance and camaraderie. She was much more at home with the South Seas pack than she’d ever been with the northern brothers. Maybe she’d found her own true home on this excursion. If she and Hainn did claim each other as mates she’d fit right into the pack.

There was a cheer at the end of the dance and a toast to the Great Mother with the last of the fruit juice and then it was time to clean up the site and remove the evidence of their presence. Vindy took her third bottle of feelgood and disappeared into the flyer. Stonor followed her soon thereafter.

“They’ll be a while,” Hainn said, holding Jezari’s hand. “Want to take a walk with me along the beach until they’re ready to take us to the campsite?”

“I love the idea,” she said truthfully.

Jezari watched the waves roll in and admired the dazzling silvery patterns the moons made on the waves. “How will tomorrow go?” she asked. “Do we surf all day or what?”

“The morning only and then in the afternoon we pack up and head to the valley,” he said. “We can’t linger too long both because we don’t want to be discovered by a Khagrish scout and also we need to return to the valley so the ranks of warriors remain full.”

“There are only ten of you here,” she said.

“Ten of us are worth a hundred regular soldiers,” he replied without boasting. “We can’t be greedy about our special time here at the sea mount. It’s a blessing to have the release made available to us by the Alphas.”

She could understand the sentiment. Considering the packs were locked in a deadly war with the Khagrish this was an astounding use of resources for a non warfighting event, even taking into account the fact the South Seas pack required periodic high adrenaline activity.

They retraced their steps to the spot where the others waited their pilot’s convenience, not that anyone had complained. The brothers appeared to like Vindy for the most part, respecting her as a pilot and a soldier. And they knew their pack brother was trying to win her. Jezari wasn’t too sure about the possibility for longterm success, given how catty Vindy had been to her on the topic of Hainn but she wished Stonor well. The romantic interlude occurring in the flyer right now didn’t bother her—on the contrary she relished the extra time at the beach spent alone with Hainn. If there’d been a private spot available to her after the dancing she might have suggested to Hainn they do the same thing his pack brother and Vindy were doing.

She was tempted to confide in him about the baby, incredulous he hadn’t scented her condition but held her tongue. She had to take the time to think through the whole situation before impulsively sharing the news, even with Hainn. Jezari had been told what a fuss was made over Dr. Garrison, mate of Mateer when she was pregnant and she had no desire to be the focus of so much attention. It was inevitable her baby would be regarded as belonging to all the packs but Jezari intended to protect her cub as much as she could and ensure he or she grew up as normally as possible under all the circumstances. She rubbed her stomach and hastily jerked her hand away, fearful of accidentally revealing her secret but Hainn wasn’t paying attention.

I wish there were more Badari children, so Hope and my cub could grow up in a pack of their own, not as special one of a kind symbols of the future.

Hainn was more than satisfied with the results of the day spent surfing and diving and the evening celebration. He and Jezari got along smoothly and his predator had been enthused about hunting with her as a partner. She fit right into the group of his brothers the way no human woman ever could and he was determined to claim her as his mate. After their stroll along the beach, Vindy and Stonor had finished their assignation in the flyer and the pilot was ready to convey them all to the campsite. He sat with Jezari and they talked about surfing and the feast and the flight time seemed epically brief.

Once at the campsite he pitched in with everyone else to get their boards and supplies put away and to help camouflage the flyer. Then Jezari took his hand and drew him inside the cave, out of the main room and through the short corridor to her chambers. He followed right behind her, neither of them speaking. Words were unnecessary at this point between them, or so he believed.

She peeled off his swimsuit while he stood and waited to see what she’d do next. Next moment she’d shed her coverup and her bikini and was naked for him. He reached for her but she shook her head, grabbing a pillow off the nearby couch and sinking to her knees on the stone cold floor. Jezari ran her hands up his thighs and rubbed her thumbs under his balls before taking his aching cock into her mouth and sucking hard. The sight of her full lips around his shaft was highly arousing and he braced himself on the wall behind him as she applied her tongue to the task of driving him wild with need and desire. She took him deep and hummed while she was doing it, adding to the erotic torture of not allowing himself to climax under her ministrations. He fisted his hands in her lush hair, grown out since her time in the hospital, and urged her to continue.

Finally he had no choice but to gently pull her away, saying, “I want to take this to the bed, beautiful lady.”

With an impish smile she licked her lips, took him by the hand and led him to the bed, pushing him down on his back and coming over him, sitting astride. He put his hands on her hips as she slowly lowered herself onto him one inch at a time. “You’re trying to drive me mad tonight, aren’t you?” he asked, barely able to form words because he was so turned on. The vision of her luscious breasts above him was more than he could endure and he gave them his full attention. The seduction was so erotic and intimate he more than half expected her to ask to Claim him and he was ready to agree in an instant but Jezari brought them both to the pinnacle and took them over without a word. He lost himself in the ecstasy of the release, buried deep inside her and as close as any two people could be.

They lay together in sated exhaustion for a few minutes and then he moved to cover her, his shaft already erect and ready for the next encounter. Wordlessly she parted her legs and allowed him to enter and soon their bodies were locked together, moving in unison again, pushing each other to the heights. His inner predator was purring and snarling at the same time, demanding he claim their mate. He placed his mouth at the tender juncture of her neck and shoulder and kissed her hard before asking, “It would be my honor to Claim you as my mate tonight, if you feel the same.”

Jezari went absolutely still and pulled away from him as far as she could, given their position. “Can’t we simply enjoy each other tonight? Must we talk of Claiming and mates?”

Confused and taken aback, Hainn attempted to pull her closer but she resisted. “I know the goddess decrees it’s the woman’s decision but I thought we were in agreement, that our hearts were as one. Are you refusing me?” Disbelief at her totally unexpected reaction to his proposal brought the first twinges of anger and embarrassment. “You gave me every indication?—”

Jezari cupped his cheek with her hand and stared at him with glowing golden eyes. “I’m so sorry but I’m not ready for this. It’s been a wonderful time out here surfing and getting to know you better away from the valley. And these times together have been incredible but it’s too soon for me.”

“What more do you need from me to know I love you and I want nothing more than to be your mate?” He pulled out, his cock hard and ready. Sitting up, he said plaintively, “How can it be too soon?”

“I’m not trying to cause you pain,” she said in a soft voice, not meeting his eyes. “I believed we were enjoying a carefree vacation trip. You’re the one who says he can do casual?—”

“Not with you, never with you.” He caught her close for a kiss which she allowed him but then pulled away again. A suspicion dawned in his mind and his inner beast was ready to go tear the pilot limb from limb. “Is this about what Vindy said?”

“No.”

He heard truth in her voice but he could tell there was something else in play here, an issue she was keeping from him.

“I don’t want to get so caught up in the excitement and romance of this trip and the fun and novelty of what we’ve been doing and rush into being mated,” she said in a pleading tone. “I need time to think, to go back to the valley and see how we are together living everyday life. Do we make sense as a couple there too? Or only here in the wild?”

“Mating is soul to soul, heart to heart,” he said, hating to hear himself pleading but he couldn’t fathom not claiming this woman as his mate. “Not whether we can do our daily chores in the fucking valley together.”

“This is the first time you’ve spoken of loving me,” she said, head down.

He tipped her face to his with one talon carefully extended. “I’ve been in love with you for a long time but I was afraid to tell you precisely because I thought you were too skittish after your ordeal of nearly dying and…other things. Do you—can you love me?”

There was silence and his heart stopped.

“Yes,” she said. In a rush she added, “I’m not saying no to ever Claiming each other. I’m saying I need more time to think about it. I wasn’t looking to become a claimed mate.”

“You were when you believed you were in love with Timtur,” he bit out, immediately regretting the words but it was too late to recall them. He left the bed and snatched up his one garment, the swimsuit, putting it on in a rush. His softening cock made the task easier.

“That’s not fair,” she said, a tear tracking down her cheek. “I wasn’t myself. I was emerging from near death and the effects of the Khagrish life sucking pod. I wasn’t thinking clearly.”

He took a deep breath to calm his incandescent inner beast. “Jezari, you’re a beautiful, special woman and I’m not going to walk away from what I think our mating could be. You want time and space, I’ll give it to you but don’t expect me to be happy about it. Not tonight.” Turning on his heel, he walked out of the room, hearing her weep behind him but he didn’t think there was any comfort he could offer her right now. The decision was hers, as the Great Mother decreed and she’d said no to him.

As an honorable Badai, he accepted her refusal.

How did a night full of such promise go so wrong? He walked straight through the outer chamber, ignoring his brothers, who were gawking at him in astonishment and left the cave, going for a long run to soothe himself and his inner predator and try to figure out what his next steps were going to be.

Jezari cried herself to sleep after Hainn stormed out. She supposed she couldn’t blame him for being upset, with her refusing his claim in the middle of making love, but she’d panicked and the one thing she held onto was her determination not to be rushed into a commitment which would last through this life and into the afterlife. She wasn’t going to the valley a Claimed mate. Her sisters already categorized her as impulsive and foolish. Jezari wanted her acceptance of Hainn to be a deliberate, well thought out decision. At least he’d said he loved her. And the way her heart ached this morning she was sure she’d fallen in love with him too at some point.

Maybe she was overthinking all of this but she’d set herself a course of action and she was going to follow through on it.

After taking a quick shower, she dressed in her old one piece swimsuit, unable to bear the sight of the flamboyant bikini today and used a tee shirt for a coverup. She was apprehensive about walking into the main chamber but aside from one or two brothers who called out greetings, there was no finger pointing, no outcry about her spurning their brother. She grabbed a breakfast meal from the nearly empty stasis container and sat by herself at one end of the table, listening idly to the brothers’ conversation.

She knew when Hainn walked into the room from the outside, her inner beast alerting her. The predator was still upset and pacing over her refusal to accept the mate claim last night.

How are you feeling today? Hainn asked telepathically.

Ready to surf for the last few hours.

He came to her part of the table with two mugs of Badari tea in his hands. “Thought you might want this to start the day. May I sit?”

Heart pounding, she scooted over to make room and accepted the tea.

“Vindy reported there’s a big storm out to sea, nothing to threaten us but the waves will be even bigger today,” he said.

“Good thing it’s not my first day then.” Sipping the hot tea she found it sweetened exactly to her taste with honey. Hainn must have paid close attention to how she liked it, which was flattering.

“We each get three runs today,” he told her. “I had an idea I wanted to run by you, see if you might be up for it.”

Jezari raised one eyebrow.

Taking that as agreement, he continued. “I was thinking we could try surfing one together, on the same board. I’m sure it can be done—we both have excellent balance and I think it would be a huge rush. No one else has ever done it or could do it, not with a Badari Daughter on his board anyway.”

Intrigued, she said, “Sounds like fun. I’m game if you are.”

“All right then, we’ll go for it on our third run. If we make it, we’ll sure surprise the brothers.” He laughed and lifted his mug in a salute to her before taking a long drink.

Was he going to simply ignore what happened last night? Jezari was puzzled and unsettled. “Hainn?—”

He laid one hand over hers, clasping it loosely. Just the touch skin to skin made her warm and confident in her safety. “You said you wanted more time. You said you wanted to see how we were in our ordinary lives in the valley. I want to give you everything you need and I want to prove I’m the right man for you. Show you my love.” His eyes were glowing. “I always scoffed at the brothers who found mates and said it was so hard, knowing the woman was their fated mate but she wasn’t falling equally in love with them immediately. Having to woo and win their mate. Well, now I’m there myself and I understand the frustration and I owe an apology to every mated brother in the packs. I’ll do whatever it takes to change your answer the next time I ask.” Hainn raised their clasped hands to his lips and kissed the back of hers before releasing it. “Whatever is stopping you right now, I wish you’d tell me but I’m all in and until you say you can never be my mate, I’ll keep trying.” He rose while she was digesting this declaration and walked away to join the other soldiers.

He didn’t sit next to her on the flyer, which she decided was fair enough but once she and her board were in the water, he took up his usual position close to her, keeping an eye out for her safety. Her first run on a wave was normal, if surfing a hundred foot monster wall of water and dancing one step ahead of disaster could be called normal. For her second run she was maneuvering into position when suddenly a pod of large sea mammals surfaced around her, keeping pace with her movements.

Hainn ? She kept paddling but glanced in his direction.

It’s fine, the pod sometimes joins us. Daegan says he made an unspoken treaty with their Alpha to enjoy the waves together. You’re being honored.

There was no time for more as she’d caught the wave and so had the animals. They rode the crest with her and did insane acrobatics, leaping from the surface, spinning and somersaulting in the air and plunging into the wave with gleeful abandon. Jezari had all she could do to stay on her board because she was busy watching them. They were huge, easily eight feet long and must weigh hundreds of pounds but clearly in their element in the water. The pod rode all the way in with her, doing their fancy stunts while she had to be satisfied with merely maintaining her balance.

Showing me who’s the true child of the ocean , she thought in amusement as she glided out of the wave’s path to avoid going under the crushing tons of water at the end. One of the animals popped its whiskered head out of the water right in front of her and they regarded each other. The beast smelled vaguely fishy and salty and its eyes were large pools of dark, with no visible iris. “Thank you for sharing your ocean with me,” Jezari said. “And for showing me the stunts you can do. It was fun.”

The big mammal made a chuffing sound and dove under the surface, gliding away at a rapid pace, using only its tail to propel itself.

Nothing is going to top that. Jezari rose into the air as Stonor activated the tractor beam with his usual finess and she was soon aboard the flyer.

“Amazing ride,” he said once he’d clicked off the beam. “Vindy said she captured the holo footage. We try to film every wave ride as a souvenir but sometimes we miss one unfortunately. I think only Daegan has had more of the creatures surf with him.”

“It was a unique experience all right,” she agreed, using the towel kept nearby to dry her hair out a bit. “This whole trip has been so much fun—I wish we didn’t have to go back to a war. I wish all the Badari could enjoy this kind of peace and relaxation.”

“Only another Badari would term this relaxation,” Stonor teased her with a chuckle. “Want to come with us to pick Hainn up?”

“Sure, if me tagging along is easiest for you and Vindy.” She got a good grip on the nearest safety hold and was able to watch Hainn finish his second run and rise through the air in the tractor beam.

“Oh good, you’re here,” Hainn said once he stepped free of the tractor landing area. “I wanted to talk through what we’re going to try on our last run, if you’re still game to try it.”

“A Badari Daughter never goes back on her word,” Jezari said with a touch of hauteur.

Stonor looked from one to the other. “You’re not going to do an even more dangerous stint or trick, are you? Daegan counts on me to bring the entire group to the valley in one piece, more or less.”

Hainn didn’t deny the accusation. “Tell Vindy to be sure to film our last wave. It’ll either be spectacular or the biggest wipeout anyone’s ever seen.” He drew Jezari to seats close by and explained how he be;ieved they should attempt to ride one board together and make it work. “You on my shoulders would be the best but even if we make the entire run simply standing together it’ll be an accomplishment no other Badari has done. Or even attempted.”

“Your Alpha won’t like us doing this, will he?” she asked. “Won’t it encourage others to try more complicated stunts too?”

“ Your Alpha won’t like it,” he said with a chuckle. “Daegan will think it’s terrific. Aydarr will be the one to ban it as soon as he hears about it but of course by then we’ll have made surfing history on Ushandirr.”

“True enough, Keshara will be aghast. She was unhappy enough with me coming out here simply to surf.”

“Are you glad you did?” Hainn asked as they headed for the ramp to re-enter the water.

She thought about her answer. “Yes, I am. I’m sorry I upset you last night?—”

“You have the right to refuse what I offered,” he said. “Let’s not discuss it again. Not now. The waves await.”

It seemed odd to be in the water without her surfboard but Hainn had told her to mount his board first which she did and then he clambered on behind her. He’d told her the distribution of their weight was critical and sure enough, he shifted position a few times until he was satisfied. He called for her to paddle hard as the wave rose beneath them and she put all her power into the task. Hainn was in tight, wordless telepathic communication with her and nothing needed to be said between them to ensure they moved as one. As the ride began they stood up simultaneously on the board. Hainn set his hands on her waist and she moved with him in a leaping motion planting her feet on his muscular thighs. Legs slightly bent to give her a platform, he left one arm at her waist to brace her and extended the other to ensure he could successfully surf the wave, which was now carrying them at breathtaking speed. Jezari raised her arms, hands gracefully posed and arched her back to make herself a curved figurine with Hainn as her base. He kept the board aligned properly with the wave’s energy and they rode the maelstrom.

She was flying, raised in the air, wind and spray rushing past her. She had total trust in Hainn to take care of both of them.

He put one hand in the small of her back and as they’d discussed, raised her above his head. She stuck what she hoped was a graceful pose—she felt like a goddess—and they rode for a few more precious seconds in style.

Then Hainn brought her down in front of him and steered the board out of the breaking wave to safety. As they glided into calmer water, Jezari turned and embraced him, yelling out her glee at their success in doing a stunt ride. He kissed her hard and at that point they fell off the board into the ocean and came up laughing.

Stonor captured them both and the board and lifted them to the flyer. “I don’t know what the seven hells you two were doing but it was the damnedest thing I ever saw,” he said. Pointing at Jezari he added, “You were phenomenal, Daughter, up in the air and then changing position.”

“I couldn’t have done it without Hainn.” She immediately gave credit where credit was due.

“It was a team effort,” he replied, grinning at her. “Did Vindy get a holo of the ride?”

“Sure did,” the pilot said over the flyer’s com. “We should charge for people to watch this one— it’s that good.”

“I wish we could ride again,” Jezari said, emotions high. “I bet we could figure out more stunts to try.”

“Next time we get permission to come out here,” Hainn promised. “We can practice the lifts on dry land though, if you want.”

Since this was the last run of the day, Jezari and Hainn stayed aboard the flyer while Stonor monitored the last few Badari who waited to surf and then picked them up. Then it was off to the beach to pick up the earlier surfers and back to the campsite to pack up and depart.

Jezari changed into utilities and a tee shirt like the others, grabbed a quick dinner from the nearly empty stasis containers and battled monumental sadness because her time at the sea mount was over and she had to return to Sanctuary Valley.

Hainn sat with her on the long flyer ride home and eventually she rested her head on his shoulder and napped, to dream of riding the monster waves with him, escorted by the large sea mammals doing their acrobatics and her immense friend leaping out of the water at the end to say farewell. She was a bit disoriented when they landed but Hainn shepherded her from the flyer. They stood on the landing field for a few minutes saying goodbye to the other Badari who’d been on the trip and thanking Vindy and Stonor. Then Jezari headed for the Daughters’ residence cave.

Hainn kept her company until they reached the parting in the path where he’d go right to the South Seas unmated soldiers’ barracks and she’d be on her way to her own residence.

“It was a lot of fun,” Jezari said. The moment felt awkward and she had a hard time accepting the fact he wasn’t going to be close at hand any more, as he’d been on the trip. Their lives ran on separate paths in the valley, especially since she wasn’t involved in anything to do with combat.

Hainn stepped closer and her pulse accelerated as his delicious scent of musk and ocean breeze and a hint of exotic spices came to her. “I’ll be seeing you soon, pretty girl. I don’t plan to let any grass grow under my feet when it comes to persuading you I’m the right mate to Claim. How about dinner tomorrow night? I can ask Sandara to make up a special picnic basket and I know a private, scenic lookout where we could be alone. The lake is nothing to compare to the ocean but it’s a romantic backdrop, yes?”

Pleased by his intensity, she rose to her tiptoes to kiss his cheek. “I say yes, to the invitation and the sentiment about the lake.”

“I’ll telepath you the time when I have it all set with the chef,” he said, gathering her close and giving her a hard kiss on the lips which left her aching for more.

Why exactly was she hesitating again? Jezari had a hard time remembering her qualms as Hainn stepped away onto his portion of the path. He checked over his shoulder for one last sight of her and waved, after which she made herself go toward her own residence. Deciding to see how the ordinary date unfolded the next night she thought she might become a claimed mate sooner than later. The reality of being parted from Hainn was setting in and neither she nor her inner beast liked it.

A few of her sisters were in residence when she arrived, greeting her with warmth and asking about the trip. She set her backpack on the rug and pulled her handheld out of her pants’ pocket to show them the holos Vindy had made of the various surfing runs. Everyone oohed and aahed appropriately but finally Palinna said with a chuckle, “I expected you to come back either mated or heart broken—you’ve become so impulsive since we were rescued—but you seem to be neither. Tell us the real juicy stuff— how was it was that sexy South Seas healer? Is he as good as the human women claim?”

Flushing red, Jezari tamped down anger. Acutely conscious of her unexpected pregnancy, she was glad she’d chosen to hide it for now. Her sisters’ opinion of her was certainly influenced by the things she’d said and done while recovering. What would her pack say if they knew she was pregnant? “I don’t kiss and tell,” she said with dignity. “Unlike some people.” Remembering Vindy’s catty remarks made her unhappy.

“Well, we’re glad you’re home,” Palinna said, patting her arm. “We’re going to dinner—are you coming?”

“I’m tired,” she said with truth. “I think I’ll turn in. See you in the morning.”

Her sisters wished her sweet dreams and departed in a noisy group. She picked up her backpack and headed to her set of rooms in the cave, vaguely disgruntled to be re-immersed in her mundane life. How had she managed not to perish from boredom?

Well, she’d gone exploring the lake, that was how, and look at the way the choice made things worse for her state of mind. The poor alien woman who’d died so long ago was constantly in her thoughts. After she took a shower and got into nightclothes, she lay down and closed her eyes. A decision was present fully formed in her mind.

Tomorrow I’m going to let Hainn claim me and we’ll embark on our new life together. And then I’ll tell him about the baby. He might be able to scent it once we’re mated .

Rolling over, she was at peace with her decision and a little irritated with herself for delaying. If people, even her sisters who loved her, were going to judge her as impulsive no matter what she did, then why wait to take the next giant step in her life?