Page 4 of Hainn (Sectors New Allies #19)
CHAPTER FOUR
T his was Jezari’s fourth dive to the wrecked spacecraft. As she descended toward the lakebed, she reflected on her last trip, which had been frustrating. She’d tried the first access point into the wreck, which had seemed promising but ended abruptly a few yards in, with a collapsed bulkhead completely sealing off whatever might have lain ahead. Having plenty of time left, Jezari had backtracked and swum carefully inside the second gaping wound in the hull. She worked her way through the morass of debris and eventually ended up in what she guessed was the flight deck. A strangely shaped chair lay collapsed in the center of a circle of panels and touchpads and around the perimeter of what was left of the room, were more of the same type equipment. As she made a slow circle of the chamber she paused as a cluster of the strange pure white, eyeless creatures which lived at this depth slithered off a surface ahead of her and drifted in the opposite direction. The animals or whatever form of life they were hadn’t menaced her in earlier dives either but she was wary of touching them or getting entangled in their dangling tentacles.
To her shock, the panel on which the depth dwellers had been clustered had a few glowing lights, which made tiny arcs of illumination in the otherwise completely dark space. Jezari had blinked in shock. After 10,000 years something was still functioning on this broken ship? Then she remembered MARL had come to life as soon as Jill found him and cleared off a few solar panels. These aliens, whoever they’d been had built to last.
Gazing at the rest of the room, Jezari didn’t see any other lights or evidence of active systems but she left the chamber with extreme care, not touching anything. She couldn’t imagine what the results would be if she accidentally activated a lingering circuit. Probably catastrophic for her, stuck so far underwater. Best not to explore further. She was so busy watching the panels and installations around her she hadn’t even noticed a clump of dangling vegetation until it was too late. The strands tangled themselves in a web encasing her lower leg and she’d panicked, unfurling her talons and slashing at them. Once she was free she rushed out of the spacecraft and headed to the surface, thoroughly spooked by the events of the dive.
Jezari was usually fatalistic about living or dying, which is why she took these chances, diving alone, no one aware of her plans. After nearly perishing in the Khagrish pod, she figured she was on borrowed time anyway. It was all well and good to be convinced of this reassuring platitude when she was up above, in the air, but quite another to find herself ensnared in slimy, clutching tendrils and potentially trapped until her air ran out.
It had taken her a few days to work up the courage to make this fourth dive. She’d spent the time actually working at her assigned job as Keshara’s admin assistant, attending various meetings, taking note, researching a few questions the humans had about how to proceed and drafting a report on her findings. It was all busywork in her mind, having nothing to do with the war against the Khagrish but her Alpha said it was necessary. The packs had hundreds of rescued humans in the valley now and robust proactive energy was required to keep the place running and safe. Aydarr and the other Alphas didn’t have time to worry about restive or ungrateful humans so Keshara and the mates worked hard to keep order and settle any looming issues with the humans.
Against her will Jezari had come to appreciate both Megan and Lily Garrison after watching them in action during several of Keshara’s larger meetings. The doctor and the teacher were both dedicated to the efforts to preserve and enhance Sanctuary Valley. Mated to the top enforcer and the senior healer respectively, both could have shirked a deep involvement in the work but instead genuinely cared about the day-to-day lives of their fellow humans. Although as claimed mates, the twin sisters were now regarded as Badari and pack members, not human. Jezari wasn’t comfortable in Lily Garrison’s presence, fearful the woman might have heard how infatuated she’d been with her mate Timtur, and embarrassed by her lapse in judgment.
Tomorrow was supposed to be full of more meetings but today was free and clear so Jezari had seized the chance to dive and left the residence cave early, before anyone could suggest another activity for her. Her sisters were loving but too full of good ideas for what Jezari could do with her time.
Her descent nearly at an end, excitement rose in Jezari. Today she was going to give in to the inexplicable draw luring her to the wreck. She’d deliberately explored the other two passageways first, saving the third portion of the ship for last, because the latter was where she really wanted to go. Whatever siren song was calling her to this ancient wreck lay inside the third opening in the hull. She only hoped she’d be able to reach deep into the ship and find whatever was luring her to the site. The compulsion had grown each time she dove, like a song becomes stuck in a person’s mind and then won’t go away.
Taking a moment to calm herself after the descent, she touched base with her inner predator, who remained stubbornly opposed to the whole idea of them being nearly two miles under the water. Thinking reassuring thoughts and vowing to proceed cautiously, she swam into the jagged hole in the hull. After only a few feet she found herself entering a huge open area, which she guessed must have been a cargo hold. All kinds of objects were floating in the murky water and as she pushed herself forward, the globes and squares and other shapes bobbed and revealed their contents.
To her horror and disgust, each capsule contained a formerly living creature. There were animals, birds, fish, insects…creatures for which she had no name to fall back upon and all were displayed inside their container beautifully arranged. Nausea rose in her gut but she felt compelled to continue exploring. The siren song was in her head so she hadn’t found the source of the lure. It was obvious to her the specimens came from many different worlds and as she moved among them she speculated for what purpose MARL’s original owner had gathered them. Was he a scientist as the AI always claimed? Or had these beautifully arranged flora and fauna been intended for an exhibit, a zoo, a sale to connoisseurs of such things in his time? The possibilities were endless and all of them disgusted her.
She was quite positive all the specimens were dead, despite their vivid appearances inside the containers. Her Badari senses might be faulty after her ordeal in the Khagrish pod but neither she nor her inner beast got any slightest indication of living beings.
Nearing the far side of the cargo hold, if she was guessing correctly about the purpose of the space, Jezari prepared to swim to the original entrance point. She gave herself an extra push, which forced aside a collection of particularly vivid winged creatures, revealing a large container directly ahead. It was floating by itself and slowly rotating in the currents her movements had created in the enclosed space.
As she watched in horror, the container spun in her direction at a glacial pace and she was face to face with one of the most beautiful females she’d ever seen. If the Great Mother was a stunning, otherworldly beauty, then this victim was a close second. Her face was serene, her three eyes closed, long lashes sweeping her high cheekbones, lush red lips in a peaceful line. Instead of hair tiny filaments surrounded her face and were arranged in an elaborate updo, held in place with a braided band and jeweled clips. She wore a simple gown with no ornamentation.
“No, no, no!” Screaming, Jezari struggled to swim away, caught in a flashback to her own imprisonment in a pod. She got a mouthful of the lake water and choked, barely remembering not to take a breath. Visions of herself fighting the lab techs who were preparing her to go into the deathly pod ran through her mind’s eye and full out panic took hold in Jezari’s body. She slammed into other containers trying to get away from the woman who’d been imprisoned in such a similar manner, to suffer a tragic fate. Disoriented, Jezari kept swimming frantically, barely conscious and with darkness closing in at the edges of her sight. She’d escaped the pod only to die here…
With a groan Jezari rolled over, wondering why her bed was so cold and lumpy. And why were her feet wet? Opening her eyes, she was blinded by the late afternoon sunlight filtering through the trees above. She remembered being in the hold under two miles of water, staring in horror at the woman and then she couldn’t recall anything else. Sitting up, she found herself at the edge of the lake, feet still in the water, toes pruned by the immersion. There were big gouges in the moss and sand where she’d evidently dragged herself out of the lake using her talons.
The inner predator must have taken control again to save both their lives and gotten her out of the ship and successfully to the surface.
Aches and pains were beginning to capture her attention and she noticed bruises on her legs and arms where the containers had hit her when she was wildly out of control in the midst of her flashback. As a Badari, she’d heal soon enough so disregarding the discomfort, she rose to her feet and stared over the lake. Knowing what lay at the bottom was hard to bear. “I’m never going out there again,” she said, clenching her fists. “I wish I hadn’t gone there at all.” She couldn’t erase the vision of the alien woman caught forever in the display container and now tears fell hot from Jezari’s eyes. The only consolation was the captive had looked serene. “I hope you didn’t suffer too much.” Jezari wiped away the tears and pivoted decisively on her heel, not wanting to see the lake right now. She sprinted into the forest, intending to find her way home to the residence caves and to make good on her vow not to swim in the lake under any circumstances.
She begged off from going to dinner with her sisters, stomach unable to tolerate even the idea of food and went to bed. Curled up in a tight ball, rocking herself back and forth, she tried to purge the image of the woman from her mind but the siren stubbornly clung to her. Eventually she dropped off into an exhausted sleep but her dreams were a wild mixture of the lady in the lake and her own experiences being prepared to go into the pod and then being locked in there to die slowly as the Khagrish drained her life essence.
With a strangled scream Jezari sat straight up in bed and swiveled her head wildly, confused by the stone walls and the pretty bioluminescence where she’d been positive she was in the stark white Khagrish lab, helpless to protect herself or to fight. She pushed her sweaty hair off her forehead and waited, fearing her sisters would come to investigate why she’d made so much sound. No one did, however, so she relaxed against the pillows, hands clenched and closed her eyes tentatively.
No good, the dreams were still there.
At a loss for what to do, Jezari left the bed and paced the perimeter of the chamber, much as her inner beast would have done but the movement brought no relief and she was stumbling a little from being so tired. She drank a glass of water and rolled the cold glass across her forehead, hoping to soothe the ache.
Hainn’s serious face came to mind.
He could help her, couldn’t he? Surely a healer could banish the bad dreams and exorcise the terrible memories. She checked the time on the chrono by the bedside and slumped. It was so late, middle of the night really. This wasn’t an emergency, even if she felt her sanity might be slipping a bit. Could she disturb him now? Would he report her to the Alphas if she did?
She wished her telepathy was intact. It wouldn’t be so bad to intrude on his sleep with a gentle telepathic ‘knock’ he could ignore if he chose. Picking up her handheld she continued to debate with herself but finally the heart palpitations she was experiencing, not to mention the panic flashing through her made the decision easier. Hainn had given her his com information months ago when he’d been assigned as her healer and told her to use it any time. He’d hadn’t rescinded the offer, not even once she was out of the hospital. With an extra thump of her heart against her ribs, she initiated the call.
Badari with perfectly functioning senses could detect lies so she’d have to be careful what she said to him, if he even answered.
Haiin surfaced slowly from a pleasant dream of swimming through one of the prettiest parts of lagoon at their home in the South Seas. He’d been searching for something or someone specific but there’d been no sense of urgency about the quest. Rolling over in his bed, he realized it was the sound of his com which had awakened him and adrenaline brought him to complete alertness at once. If an unknown person was calling him in the dead of night there had to be an emergency. By the time he threw back the covers and reached his handheld, the caller had given up and there was no message but it was easy enough for him to call back. As he did so he learned it had been Jezari who’d reached out to him and he was concerned. She’d never called him once during all the time he handled her case.
“Jezari? What’s wrong?”
Her voice was quavery, not the strong tones he was used to from her. “I’m so sorry to bother you —forget I called.”
Rising to his feet, he grabbed at his clothes one handed. “No, it’s fine, I promise. What’s going on?”
“I—I’m having terrible flashbacks tonight,” she said. “I think I’m in the middle of a full blown post traumatic event. I can hardly breathe and I feel like I’m going to pass out.”
Alarmed, he tried to calm her down a bit. “Take deep breaths, in, hold and then out. Breathe with me, okay?” After a few of those calming breaths, he asked, “Did you call on your sisters to help? Do you need me to come there?”
Her panic returned immediately. “No, I don’t want to bother them and you can’t come here.”
“Do you want to meet me at the hospital then?” Hainn didn’t like the idea of her trying to get herself to the hospital in the state she was obviously in at the moment. He resolved to call her Alpha the minute the com ended.
“No hospital,” she said in a whispery voice. “Going there right now would do me more damage than good. Would you meet me in the woods? Away from the lake?”
Stunned by the request he was silent.
“Maybe at the Great Mother’s circle?” she added.
Struggling with his sense of what was proper for a patient and his worry over Jezari, who was far from being an ordinary Badari in need of healing, Hainn closed his eyes and asked the goddess for direction. Blinking and focusing on his handheld, he said, “Yes. Are you sure you can get there?”
“The fresh air and being outdoors will do me good, I think. I’ll call you if I have trouble on the way.”
“Promise me.” He wasn’t sure he was doing the right thing here, despite the surety he had of his belief that the Great Mother approved.
“I promise. Thank you, Hainn. I’ll see you there in ten minutes.” She ended the com.
He swore, tossing the handheld onto the bed and finishing the job of getting dressed. The great circle was deep in the forest but of course Badari—even Jezari now she’d regained her health—could cover the distance in next to no time. Hainn was out of his room and on his way a minute later, nodding at the Badari soldier on duty at the entrance to the residence and breaking into a run the instant he was outside. The three moons shone on the forest as he ran and their light brought him inner peace. He had to be calm and collected in order to do Jezari any good with his healing powers. Emotion affected his ability to do his best.
When he reached the circle he found her huddled on the cold pavement, next to the platform where the Supreme Alpha stood when ceremonies were held. Heart full of caring and pity, he sat next to her and drew her shivering body into his arms. “I’m here now, shhhh. You’ll be fine. There are no Khagrish here to torment you.” Hainn held his healing power in abeyance for now, concentrating on soothing her distress and sharing his body heat. She should have been comfortable even in the night air but obviously her PTSD incident was affecting all her body’s systems.
Gradually she stopped trembling and became less tense in his arms.
“Do you know what set this off?” he asked.
“I’m not exactly sure,” was her response and he could tell it was a half truth at best but he set aside the issue of the trigger temporarily to focus on treatment. ”Going outside and being in the forest helped but when I got here and was alone, it all came flooding back.”
Hainn refrained from commenting this location had been her choice. “The goddess’s circle should always be a place of peace for a Badari.”
Raising her head, she assessed the shrine where they stood. “I saw her once. She’s beautiful but terrifying.”
He didn’t ask for details because each Badari’s experiences with their Great Mother were private. His few encounters with her had been positive but he was a healer and thus closer to her than other Badari. “I’m told the original place of worship in the grove is even more awe inspiring but the northern packs did a good job creating this space for her here. We worshipped her on the beach at home.”
“Do you miss it?” she asked.
“Every minute of every day.” The energy of his response surprised Hainn. It had been an instinctive answer. “But I’m grateful to be here and not in Khagrish hands. We’ll get home one day, after the war ends.”
“I wish I had your certainty about anything in my life.” Her voice was sad and quiet. “I know our home was a Khagrish lab but parts of it were special to me, like the garden. But I’ve seen the vid footage from our escape and how the volcano blew the top off the entire mountain. There’s nothing to go back to.”
“You have your memories,” Hainn said, giving her a hug. “Prize the good ones and try not to dwell on the bad ones.”
“Speaking of which,” she drew a long shaky breath. “I’m doing much better now than I was when I called you but do you think there’s anything you can do about my post trauma flashbacks?”
She shifted and he allowed her to move away, seating herself close by, facing him. Hainn held up his hands, allowing a faint healing energy to manifest. “I’ve done this kind of thing before. I don’t know all the details of the lab where you and your sisters were created but in the south Seas the Badari were subject to horrific experiments and torture, testing our limits. Many a warrior was left holding terrible memories and I was able to help them find peace and regain themselves and their strength to endure.”
“Who helped you?” Her eyes were glowing golden in the night and Hainn was touched by her soft question. No one had ever asked him such a thing before. Healers were appreciated and venerated but few concerned themselves with how they coped.
“The Great Mother, obviously. And Daegan, my Alpha. He isn’t a healer and his power is totally different but at times he was able to lift away my stress and pain.” Hainn managed a smile. “Everything comes back to the Alphas, doesn’t it? The goddess makes them strong enough to bear the burdens of the entire pack.”
She reached over and stroked her hand down his forearm in a soothing gesture. “Don’t minimize your own strengths.”
They sat in silence for a few moments and then Jezari inhaled sharply and sat up straighter. “All right, how do we do this? Do I have to recline, like at the hospital?”
Hainn found himself disappointed she was done with conversation but he gave himself a mental shake and focused on his power. His hands glowed bright green and tiny sparkles threaded through the fire, which only came out when Jezari was his patient. “No need to recline.” He scooted closer. “If I may put my fingers at your temples?”
Although her eyes never wavered from his, she pulled away abruptly. “You aren’t going to see my actual dreams are you?”
“Bits and pieces maybe but I don’t focus on the details and when the healing is done, I forget what I saw, I assure you.” He was grateful for the way his power worked in this type of situation. Hard enough to take on the pain and stress of another but to have their actual memories and nightmares in his head? Thank the Great Mother for her mercy in how a healer functioned. Humming a paean to the goddess, asking for her assistance, he raised his fingers to Jezari’s face and situated the tips in the proper spots.
She closed her eyes and after a moment he did as well. The wild energy she created in him raced through his body and a stream of jarring images and thoughts poured into his mind, flowing out again in an instant as his gift worked hard to assist her and protect him. Jezari closed her hands around his wrists and instead of annoying or distracting him the skin to skin contact enhanced the connection and boosted his energy.
When she sighed and collapsed in his arms, Hainn broke off his chant and caught her, pulling her close. He’d forgotten how patients often lost consciousness at the end of one of these sessions and fell into a reviving sleep. Carefully he cradled her in his arms and made sure she was in a comfortable position. He thanked the goddess for her help. Jezari was warm and soft in his embrace and Hainn took a deep breath of her unique scent, which was pleasing to him. He’d never found a human as appealing. And when a woman he’d dated mistakenly wore heavy perfume, thinking the Badari enhanced sense of smell would find the scent alluring he couldn’t end the evening fast enough.
Studying Jezari’s face, he found her beautiful in repose and her hair spilling over his arm was soft.
Hainn sat for hours, placing himself in his own version of soldier’s sleep, where he was resting but alert to any change in Jezari or any threat in the environment. Eventually she stirred and murmured indistinguishable words, waking him. He held onto her for another minute or so, until her eyes opened and she stared up at his face in surprise.
“Feeling better? You got some good sleep after all,” he said as he helped her to sit up.
“Have you been holding me the whole time?” she asked, blushing.
Hainn didn’t know what to say so he remained silent.
Jezari rose to her feet and checked the eastern sky, which was beginning to lighten as dawn approached. “I’d better get back to the residence or they’ll wonder where I was.” She watched him stand up and said, “Thank you for what you did and for coming out here in the middle of the night to help me.”
He touched her hair, wanting one last contact between them. “Do you feel safer from the memories now?”
Head tilted she considered his question. “Yes, I think I do. And the uninterrupted sleep was a luxury.”
“Call me any time if the trauma and stress become too much,” he said, hoping she would. He extended his hand. “Want to walk to the residence area together?”
Now she retreated three steps and shook her head. “No offense but I think us doing strolling together would raise too many questions and people might come to the wrong conclusions. You—you have a certain reputation, sorry to say. And I have a completely different one when it comes to healers.” She flashed a smile at him, turned and sprinted away, giving him a wave over her shoulder.