Page 5 of Hainn (Sectors New Allies #19)

CHAPTER FIVE

J ezari was at loose ends. She’d slept better than at any time since leaving the hospital, held in Hainn’s arms. Thinking too hard about how his mere presence had calmed her nighttime terrors made her nervous. Keshara had no tasks for her today and she didn’t know what to do with the free time, especially with the lake being off limits. Hainn might have quieted her stressful memories but she wasn’t going to pester him again so soon. She also wasn’t remotely tempted to dip a toe into the lake ever again, where once swimming had been her safe place. Going to bed again was unappealing and so eventually she went for a walk and as she was strolling aimlessly, inspiration came to her.

She wasn’t going to get the chance to confront the long dead Director who had created her and done such awful things to her and she doubted she’d ever see another Khagrish if the Alphas could help it but there was one person she could scream her anger at. Mind made up she strode purposefully toward a cave at the far edge of the Badari dwellings.

Guarding the cave where Nindjak, the ancient alien who’d been the original owner of MARL and whose crashed ship she’d been exploring, was considered an honor. The entire cadet corps rotated on taking the duty. Not many visitors went to the cave but humans weren’t allowed there under any circumstances and a Badari cadet was more than enough of a warrior to dissuade a curious human. Badari themselves could enter the cave but the occupant wasn’t of interest to most.

Just her luck today’s captain of the honor guard was Yonn, the Generation 11 alphaborn. Yonn was perceptive and smart. He might refuse her entry if he suspected what kind of mood she was in. As soon as she saw him standing at the post, the other cadets arrayed at perfect intervals on either side of him, Jezari forced herself to adopt a cheery expression and think a lot of happy surface thoughts. Her inner beast snarled and she harshly told it to be quiet.

“Good morning, Daughter,” Yonn said as soon as she was close enough. He gave her a salute, which she nodded to acknowledge. Eyeing the flowers in her hand, he raised his eyes to study her face. “You wish to view the ancient one?”

“I do.” She cleared her throat and consciously spoke more forcefully. “I’ve never been here and after seeing MARL in a few meetings and hearing Jill speak of how she found him by his late authority’s side, I became curious. It’s a part of Badari history now.”

“Viewing is permitted for a Badari of course,” Yonn said but he seemed troubled. “Neither Nindjak nor his possessions are to be touched.”

Lying to Yonn was going to be impossible so Jezari said nothing. She held up the bouquet, forcing her fangs to stay in their sheaths. “May I pass then?”

“The pack historian is in the chamber at present,” he informed her. “Aliana, mate of Nario. Have you met her?”

“No, I’ve not had the pleasure. I won’t bother her, I promise.”

“She’s to have the chamber to herself, per the Alpha’s orders,” Yonn said. He gestured toward a flat rock close by. “Her time is almost up, however, so if you’d care to sit and wait?—”

The last thing Jezari wanted to do was wait on the convenience of a claimed mate but she kept her annoyance to herself and took a seat on the indicated boulder. Lifting her face to the sun, she closed her eyes and tried to center herself and find calm.

Yonn sat beside her. “I haven’t had the chance to talk to you since the last social. How are things? Keshara keeping you busy?”

Surprised, she opened her eyes and looked at him. His eyes had a slight glow but his face was set in a friendly expression. Yonn might be only a boy but he radiated Alpha power. It was said he’d be the equal to Aydarr when he matured and she believed it. “Yes, mostly admin stuff, you know, working with the human council and related issues.” What was he sensing about her today? She hoped she’d stuffed her true motives deep enough to avoid Yonn’s scrutiny.

“Forgive me for being frank but the last time we met you seemed much calmer than you are today, Daughter. Is something wrong?”

She felt a pulse of Alpha power directed at her and a wave of peaceful sensations washed through her mind. “I had unsettling dreams last night, which happens to all of us I’m sure.”

“Yours are no doubt blacker than most, with good cause.” He spoke as if he was a grown Alpha and she was in his pack. “Hainn is an excellent healer, have you spoken to him about the dreams?”

“Yes, today in fact.” Well technically it had been today when she’d implored him to help her. “He’s helpful.”

“We all care about you,” Yonn said. “When Gabe and Keshara brought you here from the compound with your sisters all of us Alphas fought for your life.”

Touched, Jezari patted his hand. “I didn’t know that. Thank you.”

“An Alpha can hold a Badari to life and matters were so dire with you Aydarr sent for me to assist him and the others. The task needed power from all of us for a time there.” He grinned and now she saw the youth he still was. “It was an honor to be asked. I’m glad I could help.”

Sound from the mouth of the cave distracted Jezari and she and Yonn rose as Aliana, mate to Nario emerged into the sunlight. She waved at Yonn. “I’m all done for today.”

“Come and meet Jezari, Badari Daughter,” he said.

The two women shook hands and Aliana was effusive. “I’ve wanted to meet you for the longest time. I’ve interviewed all your sisters but I need your remembrances in order to complete my record regarding the discovery of female Badari. Can we arrange a time to sit and go over your experiences?”

“Jezari might not want to talk about it,” Yonn said in a chiding voice.

“Of course, I totally understand. A few of the men have declined to participate or have given me terse statements.” Aliana tousled her hair. And made a rueful face “I get carried away at times so thanks for the reminder. It’s such an amazing opportunity as a historian to document this critical time in Badari history firsthand.” She concentrated on Jezari again. “We can make it as short and surface or as deep and long as you’re comfortable with. Or not do it at all.”

“I’ll com you,” Jezari said, finding herself liking the eager historian. “I’m not opposed to discussing at least some of what I endured.”

“All right, great. Any time is fine—you’re a priority.” With a wave Aliana went about her business.

“The cave is all yours,” Yonn said. “With the restrictions I mentioned earlier.”

Taking a better grip on the flowers, Jezari walked toward the entrance. “Thanks.”

Once inside the cave, the cooler air was soothing and she paused to orient herself. This cavern was pretty good sized, with glittering stalagmites and stalactites everywhere, coated in the usual bioluminescence. The petrified body of the ancient alien lay straight ahead of her, his head and shoulders propped up on a pack of some kind. After being in this cave for ten thousand years he and his belongings had turned to glittering stone and his face couldn’t be seen. Jezari walked to his side, careful not to disturb the other artifacts which he’d brought into this place and which had also become petrified stone. There was a simple plaque affixed to the stone wall above his head, with the Basic version of his name, which MARL had said was the closest he could come to anything the Badari or humans could say.

Standing right next to the body, Jezari allowed her anger and hatred to well up and she threw the flowers at him with all her force as her talons and fangs deployed. “You sorry, sick son of a bitch!” Her scream echoed off the walls of the cave and rebounded. “You knew she was an intelligent being and you took her anyway. You stole her away from her own life and everything and everyone she loved and you kept her as a specimen in your fucking collection. Did you do it because she was beautiful? Was that all it took to ruin her life? You’re no better than the Khagrish which is a pretty low standard. If you were here right now I’d kill you with my own hands.” The emotion became too much and she sank to her knees, face in her hands as she wept. ”All her dreams, her hopes, her accomplishments and goals—you took it all away for your own selfish reasons and left her nothing. You’re nothing! You’re a pathetic husk of a being and it serves you right to be entombed in stone forever. I only wish all the Badari knew what a monster you were.”

A tiny portion of her mind understood it was pointless to scream and curse a being who’d been dead for a hundred centuries but Nindjak became synonymous in her mind with the Khagrish Director who’d condemned her to a slow, lingering death and Jezari herself morphed in her mind into the woman the ancient alien had similarly imprisoned. She wept and raged and gradually the fury drained from her along with her tears and she sat in the cold of the cavern, empty of emotion but at peace.

Rising she left without a backward glance, acknowledging Yonn’s farewell with a simple lift of the chin. She’d done what she came to do and it had been excellent therapy. She had no regrets. None. The lady in the lake and Jezari both deserved to have their say and she’d spoken for both of them.

One of Aydarr’s social events had been scheduled for the evening, which all Badari were required to attend. The humans flocked to these parties and there was quite a bit of mingling. Jezari accompanied her sisters and Gabe and sat drinking iced fruit punch and watching the crowd. After her breakdown in Nindjak’s cave she was drained and at peace for the most part. She’d cried herself out and said what she’d wanted to, even if there hadn’t been any living ears to hear. Early to bed sounded good to her and she wasn’t planning to linger at the party. Aydarr and Jill had seen her in passing so she’d gotten her credit for being there and as Jezari had no desire to socialize with the humans or the other Badari, there was no incentive for her to remain. Usually she’d linger to watch the ball games between the packs, which could get quite heated and extremely physical but tonight the idea held no allure.

Hainn was at her side before she realized he’d arrived. He sat on the bench where she was and she scooted over to give him room. “How’s it going today?” he asked.

“So far so good. The real test will be whether I dream tonight. I promise not to call you if the nightmares return,” she said, striving for a teasing note.

He took her hand, playing with the ring she wore, which Camron had made for her out of spun silver strands. He’d woven several pretty polished agates into the matching bracelet and it was one of her favorite possessions. “No, wrong answer. I want you to call me if there’s another flareup. I’ll be hurt if you don’t. Promise me.” His eyes were glowing golden and Jezari was mesmerized by the intensity of his stare.

“All right, I guess if I have to be awake in the middle of the night I might as well have company,” she said, pulling her hand free a moment later. “But fingers crossed as the humans say, that tonight is dreamless.”

“Speaking of humans, I think the band is doing a terrific job tonight. I know they’ve been practicing hard in their off duty hours. One of my brothers is dating the girl playing the drums and he’s been grumpy all week because of the long rehearsals.”

Jezari examined the remark from all angles and decided there was no reply she wanted to make and especially not about dating. She made a sound of agreement and drank more from her glass.

“Want to dance?”

Shocked, Jezari choked on the icy liquid and Hainn had to pound her back. “I don’t dance,” she said in a hoarse gasp, glancing at the area where couples were arm in arm, moving to a slow song.

“There’s nothing to it, at least not the way it’s done here,” Hainn said, grinning. He swayed a little from side to side. “I’ll lead and I won’t complain if you step on my feet a time or two.”

What has gotten into him? She was tempted to throw caution to the winds and agree as she watched the dancers. The idea of being in Hainn’s arms again and moving together to the music made her inner core tingle. Realizing she was close to agreeing, she left the bench and walked away, saying over her shoulder, “Aren’t healers and patients were supposed to keep things strictly professional? Seems to me I was told that in no uncertain terms. I’ll be sensible for both of us.”

Hainn caught her elbow before she could go even one more step. His hold was gentle but firm. “I’m not your healer any more, Jez. I signed off on the termination of your medical supervision, remember? I’m your friend, or hope to be and friends can dance together.”

She stared up at him, biting her lip. “It’s not a good idea for either of us. You have all those human girls you were dancing with earlier, go ask one of them. I’m sure they’d be thrilled for another chance to be in the arms of a Badari. I’m going to the residence and turning in. Good night.” She wrested herself free, which she knew he’d allowed her to do, and walked away. Her face was heated by a blush of embarrassment, which also annoyed her. Her inner beast wasn’t happy either, prowling through their DNA and snarling. The alien predator she shared her body with wanted to be closer to Hainn and wasn’t ready to go tamely to sleep.

Jezari broke into a run, relieved not to hear footsteps behind her. Hainn had taken her rejection as the final answer it was meant to be and she was glad. Wasn’t she? If he’d asked her to take a walk along the lake would her answer have been different? Probably, she admitted ruefully. At least a stroll in the moons’ light wouldn’t have been her in front of all the Alphas and her sisters, getting involved with yet another healer.

Hearing the gentle sounds of the water lapping at the shore, she realized she’d actually made her way to the lake and the idea caused a shiver. Gazing across the dark water, with silver ripples from the moons, she couldn’t help thinking of the alien woman, trapped far below. Leaving her there in her watery tomb wasn’t right but Jezari couldn’t see any other options. She couldn’t get the container out of the cargo hold and to the surface by herself and she wasn’t going to tell anyone what she’d found. She wanted to forget the entire episode. No one needed to know. Let MARL’s version of the ship having been destroyed stand. Maybe the AI believed it, maybe he didn’t, but she was sure no good would come of her talking about her dangerous dives.

I will honor you in my own heart, she said to the lady of the lake. You won’t be forgotten.

Pivoting away from the water, she hurried toward the lights of the residence caves, suddenly anxious to be away from the lake and its secrets.