Page 5

WILLOW

PRESENT DAY

T he last place I want to be is here.

But what would it look like if I bailed?

Not that Mom or Abue would let me anyway, so even going down that rabbit hole is pointless. And then Dad would get that tight, disappointed look—not mad, just quiet and heavy—and suddenly I’d be the problem instead of the girl simply trying not to combust.

Still, I really, truly, desperately don’t want to be here, even though it’s senior night and my big brother is being honored.

Which is another reason I can’t leave. I won’t walk away from this moment, no matter how much it’s physically and emotionally choking me out. I’d regret it. And Knox would never say anything, but he’d feel it.

So I force myself to smile, even as my boots stick to dried soda and the guy behind us screams, “LET’S GO RED WOLVES!” directly into my ear for what has to be the eighth time.

He could at least back up half an inch, but no—he’s clearly on a personal mission to rupture every eardrum in section 106. The mix of his hot breath and the cold air makes my face want to freeze and melt at the same time.

This sucks.

“Everything okay?”

I turn my head to Selene Davis, my brother’s girlfriend, and offer her a strained half-smile. “As okay as it’s going to be until I get out of here.”

Selene laughs, tucking a strand of red hair behind her ear. “Your game face is brutal tonight.”

“I’m not built for this,” I say, just as the man behind us belts another, “RED WOLVES, BABY!” into the void. “I’m not getting paid enough to be here.”

“That’s a lie,” Hailey Reed says, sliding in beside us with her usual deadpan precision. It’s about time she and Jade got here. “You couldn’t pay me to freeze my ass off surrounded by boys who smell like body spray and bruised ego.”

“You’re dating one of them,” I remind her.

She shrugs. “Levi’s the exception. He showers.”

Jade Samuels, Hailey and Wilder’s best friend, appears next to Hailey with her hands wrapped around a cup of what I assume is coffee or hot chocolate. “I think it’s kind of sweet. They’re all so hyped. Feels big.”

“Yeah, but I still would rather be anywhere else but here. And that includes the dentist,” I mutter.

Selene nudges me with her elbow. “You love Knox. You’ll survive.”

I pretend to weigh it out. “Barely.”

Then out of nowhere, I hear, “Knox Sanchez!”

Hearing my brother’s name brings my attention back to the rink and I nearly jump out of my seat as the arena erupts.

Knox skates out to center ice with the same calm confidence he’s had since the first time he put on skates.

Mom is on her feet clapping wildly. Dad stands beside her, a quiet, proud grin on his face.

And Abue? Abue is waving a giant homemade sign with Knox’s number painted in glitter and tiny red wolves circling it like stars.

“Your grandma wins,” Jade says, visibly impressed. “That’s real commitment.”

Knox raises his stick in acknowledgment, smirking like the little punk he is. I clap too. Despite everything, I really am proud of him. He’s worked hard. He deserves this.

“And now,” the announcer’s voice booms again, “number thirty-three, Blaise Dalton!”

My hands freeze mid-clap. My stomach drops like I've just taken a plunge on a rollercoaster.

Two years. Two whole years I've managed to avoid being in the same room with him for more than five minutes outside of my brother’s birthday party a couple of weeks ago, and now here he is.

The crowd goes wild, almost as loud as they were for Knox.

Blaise raises his stick in a subdued salute, and I can practically feel his blue eyes scanning the crowd.

I shrink back instinctively, as if he could possibly pick me out among thousands of screaming fans.

My heart starts sprinting like it knows something I don’t.

"He's having a great season," Selene says beside me, completely unaware she’s pouring salt on an unhealed wound.

“Mmm,” I manage.

Hailey makes a face. “He’s too smooth with…everything in life. Like he actually has his shit together.”

Jade leans in. “I think he’s just quiet.”

“Same thing,” Hailey replies.

“You okay?” Selene asks, glancing over at me.

“I’m fine,” I lie. “Just cold.”

Abue looks over at me. I can tell she doesn’t buy it for a second. “Your face is red. Are you feeling feverish?”

“I’m fine, Abue,” I say, pulling my scarf higher like it’ll hide the heat crawling up my cheeks. “I swear. Completely fine.”

She makes a noise that says she doesn’t believe me but thankfully lets it go as the announcer moves on. I stare at the ice, trying to focus on literally anything other than Blaise standing just feet away from my brother.

“Wow, he really does pretend like the crowd doesn’t exist,” Jade murmurs.

“Of course he does,” I mutter, but I tune everything else out.

The rest of the introductions blur together as I desperately try to remember how to breathe normally.

This is ridiculous. I'm a junior that is doing well in my classes, one of the best journalists on campus, and looking forward to a prestigious internship this summer, and I'm letting a two-year-old memory throw me completely off my game.

And yet my pulse won’t settle.

It’s pathetic.

I’m pathetic.

I’ve dated other people since then. Okay, fine, “dated” is generous. I’ve gone on a few first dates that didn’t go anywhere. But still. I’m over it. Over him.

So why does it feel like my heart is trying to slam its way out of my chest?

"Look! They're starting!" Abue grabs my arm, drawing my attention back to what’s happening on the ice.

The ref skates to center ice, puck in hand. Levi crouches low, while Knox and Asher flank him. Blaise moves into position behind them, and I can tell he’s locked in.

The puck drops with a sharp smack.

Levi wins it and snaps it back to Blaise, who barely adjusts as he absorbs the pass and glides backward. His head lifts, just once, and then he threads a pass to Knox so smooth it looks scripted.

The crowd surges as Knox bolts down the left side, flying across the ice. Asher matches his pace on the opposite wing, creating a perfect channel for attack. Although I’ve avoided Knox’s games in recent years, I've seen him do something like this a thousand times and it still makes me nervous.

The defender on the other team lunges at Knox, but he's already sending the puck sliding right to Asher, who zeroes in on the net. The goalie makes a desperate lunge, but comes up empty handed.

The arena erupts, and I’m almost forced to put my hands over my ears.

"GOAL!" Dad shouts, pumping his fist in the air.

Mom jumps up beside him, and Abue waves her glitter sign so vigorously I worry she might accidentally take out the guy behind us. Which wouldn't be the worst thing in the world, honestly.

Asher's teammates mob him and start howling like the wolves they're named for. They're thirty seconds into the game and already up one-nothing.

"That was sick!" Selene yells over the noise, high-fiving Jade.

I clap along, trying to look like a normal person who isn't having an internal meltdown. Because this is fine. Totally fine. Just watching hockey with my family and friends, like any other college student might do on a Friday night.

The celebration dies down, and the players reset for the next faceoff. I catch myself watching Blaise as he glides back into position, his movements so fluid it's like he's barely touching the ice.

"Why are you looking at him like that?" Abue whispers, leaning close enough that her soft floral perfume wraps around me.

I snap my gaze away from Blaise. "I’m not looking at anyone," I reply quickly. I'm not looking at anyone.

Abue's knowing smile makes my cheeks burn hotter. "If you say so."

I try to focus on Knox, on his plays, on anything but the defenseman wearing number thirty-three. But my eyes keep finding him anyway. Damnit. I do my best to make sure Abue can’t call me out again.

The first period flies by and I've almost convinced myself I'm fine when the buzzer sounds. 3-1, Red Wolves. Knox has an assist, Levi scored, and Blaise...well, Blaise has been everywhere at once, stopping shots, clearing pucks, and making passes.

"Your brother is on fire tonight," Jade says, nudging me with her elbow.

"He knows we are in the audience," I reply, grateful for the chance to talk about Knox instead. "Plus, let’s be real. He's motivated by food."

"Smart man." Selene laughs, her eyes following Knox as he skates toward the tunnel.

"I need something hot to drink before I freeze to death," Hailey announces, standing up. "Anyone want anything?"

"Hot chocolate," Jade and Selene say in unison.

"I'll come with you," I offer, desperate for a few minutes away from the ice and away from him. "Mom? Dad? Abue? Want anything?"

"Coffee for your father," Mom says. "And tea for me if they have it."

Abue waves us off. "Nothing for me, sweetheart. I have everything I need right here."

She pats her oversized purse, which I know contains everything anyone could think of, including enough snacks to feed half the arena. Abue believes in being prepared and there have been many times I’ve been grateful for how prepared she was is.

Hailey and I squeeze past the others in our row and make our way up the concrete steps. Once we are out of the seating area, I take a deep breath of the slightly less freezing air in the concourse. The break from watching the game and from watching him is exactly what I needed.

"You good?" Hailey asks. "You seem...tense."

“I swear, I’m fine.” Was there a neon sign attached to my forehead flashing "emotionally compromised" for everyone to see? "Just not a sports fan." That’s a lie too, but I hope she doesn’t catch on.

"You know, it wouldn't kill you to admit when something's bothering you," Hailey says, her voice matter-of-fact and telling me she means business. "It's not like I'm going to run and tell Knox or something."