Page 32

WILLOW

I stare at my reflection in my mirror, smoothing my hands down the short black dress I've changed into and out of three times in the last twenty minutes.

My hands shake slightly as I reach for my lip gloss, and I want to slap myself for being ridiculous.

I hate that I'm this nervous. It's just dinner.

It's not about Blaise. It's definitely not about what happened in the rainforest earlier.

Except it absolutely is. And it’s all I can think about.

The memory of his body caging mine against that tree trunk keeps replaying on loop. The way his voice grew deeper when he asked if this was what I wanted. How his eyes dropped to my lips like he was fighting every instinct not to kiss me right there in the rain.

"You look amazing," Madison says from behind me, and I catch her reflection in the mirror. She's wearing a flowy coral dress that brings out her tan, looking effortlessly put-together while I'm over here having a full-scale wardrobe crisis.

"I feel ridiculous," I admit just before tugging at the hem of my dress. "This is too much, isn't it?"

"For dinner in San Juan? Not even close." She moves to stand beside me, fixing a strand of my hair. "Besides, you deserve to feel gorgeous."

I do feel beautiful, but that isn’t the problem here. The problem is that I have to face Blaise again within this new dynamic and I feel completely unprepared. "It's not about feeling gorgeous," I say as my eyes meet hers in the mirror. "It's about?—"

"About what happened on the hike today?" Madison raises an eyebrow. "Because whatever that was between you and Blaise, it definitely wasn't about getting rain gear out of your backpack."

I’m not surprised she knew, and it was a lame excuse at that. But also, fuck. "Was it that obvious?"

"To me? Yes. To everyone else? Probably not." She moves to sit on the edge of her bed. "So are you going to tell me what's going on, or do I have to guess?"

I turn away from the mirror because I suddenly need to move. "There's nothing going on. We were just...talking."

"Talking." I can see the air quotes without her having to make the hand gestures. "Is that what we're calling it when a guy looks at you like he wants to fuck you until you’re screaming for mercy?"

"Madison! What the hell?"

"What? I'm just saying what I saw." She shrugs, completely unbothered by my mortification. "And trust me, that man was not thinking about rain gear."

I sink onto my bed, burying my face in my hands. "This is such a mess."

"Why is it a mess?" Madison's voice is gentle now. "He's gorgeous, you're gorgeous, there's obviously something there and we are in Puerto Rico..."

"Because he's my brother's best friend," I say through my fingers. "Because he rejected me once before. Because this trip is supposed to be about Puerto Rico, not whatever psychological warfare we've been engaging in."

"Psychological warfare?" Madison laughs. "Willow, that's not warfare. That's sexual tension so thick you could cut it with a chainsaw."

I peek at her through my fingers. "You think?"

"Honey, I thought the rainforest was going to spontaneously combust because of you two." She stands up and moves to her suitcase. "The question is, what are you going to do about it?"

"Nothing," I say automatically. "Absolutely nothing."

"Uh-huh." Madison pulls out a small makeup bag. "Is that why you've changed outfits three times and keep checking yourself in the mirror?"

I hate that she's right and she hasn’t known me for that long. I hate that I'm this transparent. I hate that despite every logical reason to stay away from Blaise Dalton, I can't stop thinking about what changed today even if I can’t name it.

"I don't know what I'm doing," I admit quietly.

"That's okay," Madison says, settling beside me on the bed. "You don't have to know. But maybe stop fighting it so hard and see what happens?"

"And if it all blows up in my face?"

"Then at least you'll know." She nudges my shoulder. "Besides, from where I'm sitting, it looks like he's fighting the same battle you are."

“You’re not wrong—” My phone vibrates on the nightstand, and I reach for it. I could almost kiss whoever caused that notification to go off because I’m grateful for the distraction. I find a text from my mom to the group chat with my father, Abue, and Knox.

Mom: How was your day, sweetie? Send pictures!

Right. I'd completely forgotten to update anyone since this morning. I quickly pull up my messages and start typing.

Me: Day was amazing! Hiked through El Yunque rainforest and it was absolutely incredible. Heading to dinner in San Juan now. Here are some photos.

I scroll through my photos from today, selecting a few that capture the beauty of the rainforest and try my best not to let my mind drift to thoughts of what Blaise did to me there. But I fail. With a heavy sigh, I send them to the group chat and almost immediately get responses.

Dad: Beautiful! Stay safe and have fun.

Abue: You look so happy! The rainforest looks magical, and now I’m regretting not getting on the flight with you.

I can’t help but laugh at Abue and the thought of her joining this trip with the rest of my class. She would definitely be the most popular person on the trip, and to be honest, it would be lovely to travel with her again.

Knox: Damn, that place looks sick. You’re hiking in those conditions? Be careful.

I roll my eyes at Knox's protective streak coming through even via text.

Me: I'm fine, Knox. It was just a little rain.

Knox: A little rain? That looks like a monsoon in the background of one of those pics.

Me: It's a RAINFOREST. Rain is kind of the point.

Mom: Are you eating enough? Make sure you're staying hydrated in that heat.

Abue: And don't forget sunscreen! Your skin burns like mine.

Dad: How's the group? Everyone getting along okay?

I hesitate at Dad's question and I’m not exactly sure why. That’s a lie. I know it’s because of him . I take a second to collect my thoughts before I send a response to the chat.

Me: Group is good. Madison, my roommate, is awesome.

Knox: What about everyone else? Blaise keeping an eye on things like I asked?

My stomach drops. Of course Knox would bring up Blaise right now. I glance at Madison, who is now sitting next to me and pretending not to read over my shoulder but definitely is.

Me: Blaise is...fine. Everyone's fine. And I don’t need a babysitter.

I want to yank out every follicle on Knox’s head, but I refrain because it would only draw more attention to me.

Knox: Good. You can trust him if you need anything.

Trust him. Right. If only Knox knew what he’d done to me today. The thing Knox would trust is his fist meeting Blaise’s cheek.

Abue: Are you making friends? Meeting any nice boys?

I nearly choke on my own spit. Madison full-on snorts beside me.

Me: Abue, I'm here to learn about Puerto Rican culture, not meet boys.

Abue: You can do both. A little romance never hurt anyone.

Mom: Your grandmother has a point. You work too hard. It's okay to have fun.

Knox: Wait, what boys? What are we even talking about here?

Me: There are no boys. Abue is just being Abue.

Dad: Your brother's right to be concerned. Strange places, new people...

Mom: Oh stop it, both of you. She's twenty years old and perfectly capable of taking care of herself.

Abue: Exactly! When I was her age, I was already married to your grandfather. Let the girl live a little.

Knox: That's different, Abue, and a different time. You weren't surrounded by college guys on what is essentially spring break in January.

Me: This isn't spring break, Knox. It's an academic trip with professors and everything. And why am I explaining anything to you?

Knox: Because I'm your big brother and I worry. Sue me.

Madison leans over and whispers, "Your family is intense."

“It’s usually not this bad," I mutter back, then type a response.

Me: I appreciate the concern, but I'm fine. Really.

Mom: Of course you are, sweetheart. We just miss you.

Abue: Send more pictures at dinner! I want to see the food and the handsome young men.

Knox: ABUE.

Abue: What? I have eyes and they want to see…things!

I'm laughing despite myself. They are doing the absolute most, but I do still love them.

Me: You're all impossible. I'm going to dinner now. Love you.

I set my phone down after that, but it immediately buzzes again. It’s Knox texting me privately.

Knox: Have fun but not too much fun. And tell Blaise I said thanks.

I stare at the message, my stomach twisting.

Tell Blaise he said thanks. Right. For looking out for me.

Not for pinning me against a tree in the rainforest like he was ready to risk it all.

But since he texted me without Mom, Dad and Abue, I can now tell him how I feel about him making Blaise my bodyguard.

Me: Knox, I need you to stop asking Blaise to babysit me. I'm an adult.

Knox: What do you mean babysit? I just asked him to keep an eye out. You know, make sure you're safe.

Me: Same thing. And it's embarrassing. I don't need a chaperone.

Knox: It's not about you needing one. It's about me feeling better knowing someone I trust is there.

I roll my eyes so hard they practically fall out of my head.

Me: Someone YOU trust. What about trusting ME?

Knox: I do trust you. It's everyone else I don't trust.

Me: Like who? Our professors? Madison? The guy who tried to help me with my gardening gloves?

Knox: Wait, what guy? What happened with gardening gloves?

Shit. I shouldn't have mentioned David. Now Knox is going to spiral.

Me: Nothing happened. Some guy was just being friendly and Blaise acted weird about it.

Knox: Weird how?

Me: Protective. Which was unnecessary because I can handle myself.

There's a longer pause before his next message.

Knox: Good. I'm glad he stepped in.

Me: KNOX.

Knox: What? If some random guy was making you uncomfortable, I'm glad Blaise was there.

Me: I never said he made me uncomfortable.

Knox: Then why did Blaise step in?

I stare at the phone because I’ve just realized I've painted myself into a corner. Because the truth is David did make me uncomfortable but admitting that will only validate Knox's overprotective instincts.

Me: Can we please change the subject?

Knox: Fine. But I'm serious about having fun. Just...smart fun.

Me: What does that even mean?

Knox: It means don't do anything that would give me a heart attack if I found out about it.

Madison lets out a belly laugh because she read the same text that I did. "Your brother would definitely have a heart attack if he knew what I witnessed today."

I elbow her in the ribs. I need at least one person in my corner.

Me: Your definition of heart attack material and mine are probably very different.

Knox: Probably. Love you, Wills. Be safe.

Me: Love you too. Stop worrying.

I set my phone aside and look at Madison, who's been watching this entire family drama unfold and she’s barely holding her laughter in. I don’t blame her and would be having the same issue if I wasn’t the one at the center of said drama.

"Feel better?" she asks.

"Not really." I stand up and smooth my dress again. "Now I'm thinking about how Knox would react if he knew what actually happened today."

"What would he do?"

"Probably get on the next flight to Puerto Rico and drag me home by my hair." I grab my small purse from the dresser. "Or worse, he'd confront Blaise."

"And that would be bad because...?"

I pause and think about the question. Why would that be bad? Because it would embarrass me? Because it would force Blaise and me to confront whatever this is between us? Because it might ruin Knox and Blaise's friendship? And destroy their hockey team because Knox truly won’t give a fuck?

All of the above.

"Because it would complicate everything," I finally say.

Madison stands and checks herself in the mirror one last time. "Maybe everything needs to be complicated. Maybe simple isn't working for you."

She has a good point. Whatever is building between us is going to snap at some point, much like Blaise’s control earlier today. But the thought of anything else happening between us makes me want to toss caution to the wind or bury myself alive.

"We should go," I say abruptly. I have to stop this line of thinking before I spiral further. "Everyone's probably already downstairs."

"Ready to face the music?"

"As ready as I'll ever be." I slip my phone into my purse and head toward the door.

This dinner is either going to be amazing or a complete disaster. Based on how this day has gone, probably both.