Page 28

WILLOW

M y eyes open to a stripe of sunlight slicing my face in half, and for one moment, I don’t remember where I am. The bed is too firm and the air conditioner is on in January. This ceiling fan spins in slow, hypnotic circles above me. I’m in Puerto Rico. Right.

I groan and roll over, burying my face in the pillow. My brain is already firing in seventeen different directions, thoughts colliding and tangling like Christmas lights pulled from storage.

"Shit," I mutter, forcing myself to sit up. Madison's bed is empty and neatly made. Of course she's already up and functioning. Probably went for a jog on the beach or something equally horrifying for this hour.

I fight with my covers to get my phone and finally win. 7:42 A.M. Group breakfast starts at 8:00, which means I have exactly eighteen minutes to transform from swamp creature to presentable human.

The shower helps somewhat, and I make sure to avoid wetting my hair because the last thing I want to deal with right now is drenched hair.

When I’m done, I throw on a sports bra, tank top, and athletic shorts.

I figure that’s practical for whatever volunteer activity Professor Wallace has planned.

I throw my hair into a messy bun and grab my biggest pair of sunglasses from my bag.

Last step: the oversized gray hoodie that's seen better days but it’s my favorite so that’s a win.

The door clicks open just as I'm shoving my feet into my sneakers.

"Oh good, you're up!" Madison chirps, looking infuriatingly fresh in a bright blue tank top and black shorts. Her hair is pulled back in a perfect ponytail, not a strand out of place. "I grabbed you a coffee from the lobby. Black, right?"

She holds out a paper cup like she's offering the Holy Grail. The smell hits me first, and for a second I consider getting down on the ground and kissing her feet.

"You're officially my favorite person on this trip," I say, accepting the cup with both hands. "Where have you been this morning?"

"Just exploring a bit. The sunrise was incredible!" She sets a small paper bag on the dresser. "Also snagged you a banana. Figured I would grab it just in case you missed breakfast."

My first instinct is to say something sarcastic about morning people, but I hold it back.

"Thanks. That's...really thoughtful." It’s weird cause we just met and I hate that my mind immediately goes to wondering if this is a ploy that will end up leading to me being backstabbed somewhere down the line. It wouldn’t be the first time, and Madison's kindness is throwing me off.

My brain can't process this much cheerfulness before coffee, so I just take a sip and let the bitter warmth shock my system.

She walks over to our curtains and opens them. The sunlight hits me like I just got smacked. "Professor Wallace said we're heading to some community garden today.”

"Okay," I mumble, pulling my hoodie tighter around me. "I just need to get more coffee and food in me or I’m not going to be a pleasant person to be around."

"Not a morning person?" Madison asks. Her tone is somehow both sympathetic and amused.

"What gave it away?" I gesture at my entire existence. "The sunglasses indoors or the fact that I look like I just crawled out of a dumpster?"

She laughs, not offended by my morning personality. "My brother Cal is the same way. We used to have to throw ice water on him to get him up for school."

I take another long sip of coffee, feeling it slowly reboot my system. "Your family sounds...interesting. First Tate and now Cal."

"That's one word for it," Madison says, checking her phone. "We should probably head down. It's 7:52."

I nod, grabbing my phone, room key, and some other small essentials before tossing it into a small drawstring bag I planned on taking with me.

The coffee is helping, but my brain still feels like there are some cobwebs that need to be cleared.

Everything is too bright, too loud, too much.

I swear I can hear the hallway lights buzzing overhead as we make our way to the elevator, and I wince behind my sunglasses.

To make matters worse, I’m not even hung over.

"You okay?" Madison asks as we step inside the elevator.

"Yeah. Just..." I wave my hand vaguely. "My brain's loud today."

She nods like this makes perfect sense. "Let me know if you need anything."

The elevator announces that we’ve reached the lobby level, and I brace myself for what I’m about to hear.

Sure enough, most of our group is already gathered near the breakfast area, their voices bouncing off the walls and ceiling.

Professor Wallace stands at the front, clipboard in hand, looking far too energetic.

"Just need to grab actual food," I mutter to Madison. "Then find the quietest corner possible."

I make my way to the breakfast buffet, loading a plate with scrambled eggs, bacon, and toast. Maybe I’ll do another round after I inhale this food. As I'm reaching for a napkin, a voice behind me says, "You look like you need more coffee."

I freeze. I know that voice without having to turn around. Of course. Of. Fucking. Course.

"I'm fine," I say, doing everything in my power to not look at Blaise as I grab my napkin with more force than necessary.

"Right." There's amusement in his voice that makes me want to dump my eggs on his shoes. "That's why you're wearing sunglasses inside."

I finally turn around and immediately regret it.

He's standing too close, wearing a simple navy t-shirt that shows off his stupid perfect arms. His hair is still damp, probably from a shower, and he smells like soap and something else I can't place.

Something clean and warm that makes my stupid brain short-circuit.

"Some of us didn't wake up at dawn to go jogging," I say, stepping around him toward the tables. I don’t actually know if he did that, but knowing what I do know about him? Hell yeah.

"How did you—" He stops himself, following me. "Never mind."

And I was right, but instead of rubbing it in his face, I spot Madison sitting at a table near the windows and make a beeline for her.

Of course Blaise trails behind me like a lost puppy.

When I sit down across from Madison, he hovers for a moment before taking the seat next to her.

Not across from me, thankfully, but close enough that I can feel his presence.

"Morning," he says politely. "Blaise Dalton. Don't think we've officially met."

"Madison Hollins," she replies with a bright smile. "Nice to meet you.”

"Hey, mind if I join?" Tyler appears beside our table. His plate is piled high with pastries, eggs, and fruit. He looks more awake than he did yesterday which is definitely a step up from how I’m presenting myself right now.

"Go ahead," Madison gestures to the empty chair next to me.

Tyler drops into the seat with a yawn and shoves half a croissant in his mouth. "Thanks."

I focus on my food, hoping if I don't make eye contact with anyone, they'll forget I exist. No such luck.

"By the way," Blaise says. "Knox texted me this morning."

I look up despite myself, but his words stop all movement including the fork that is halfway to my mouth. "And?"

"He said to tell you that you should text your mom. Apparently she's freaking out because you only sent one message since landing."

I roll my eyes behind my sunglasses. Great. Now I'm getting messages relayed through my brother's best friend like I’m not a whole-ass adult. "I texted her last night."

"Well, according to Knox, it wasn't enough."

Tyler glances between us, clearly sensing something but wisely choosing to stuff more food in his mouth instead of commenting.

"Fine," I say as I pull out my phone. "I'll text her again."

I type quickly, keeping it brief but detailed enough to satisfy my mom's worries.

Me: Morning! Hotel is nice, roommate is cool, breakfast is good. Heading to volunteer at community garden today. Will send pics. Love you.

"Happy?" I ask Blaise after hitting send.

He shrugs. "I'm just the messenger."

"Right." I stab at my eggs with unnecessary force. "Thanks for the delivery service."

Madison clears her throat. "So, Tyler, what's your major?"

"Chemistry," he answers through a mouthful of food. "You?"

As they chat, I feel Blaise's eyes on me. I refuse to look up, focusing instead on methodically cutting my toast into increasingly smaller pieces.

"You should eat that instead of torturing it," Blaise says quietly.

"I wasn't aware I needed eating advice," I snap, but take a bite anyway because he's right and I'm hungry. Out of all of the seats in this dining area, why the hell did he decide to sit here?

Professor Wallace claps her hands together at the front of the room. "If I could have everyone's attention, please!"

Thank fuck. Maybe we can get this day started and I can stop pretending I don't feel Blaise's eyes on me.

"I have our volunteer assignments for today," she says. "We'll be working at a local farm that provides fresh produce to several community kitchens in the area."

I take another sip of orange juice and try to not squirm under Blaise’s gaze. With a small sigh, I look down at my plate, refusing to meet his eyes. I don’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing he has any effect on me whatsoever.

I will not squirm. I will not squirm. I will not squirm.

"I've divided you into smaller teams to make the work more manageable," Professor Wallace explains. "Each team will have specific tasks assigned by the farm staff."

"Team One will handle irrigation work," Professor Wallace reads off of her phone. "Madison Hollins, Tyler Chesterfield, Emma Weiss..."

I close my eyes behind my sunglasses, willing her to put me in any group without?—

"Team Two will be working in the herb garden. Willow Sanchez, Blaise Dalton..."

My stomach drops, then flips, then ties itself into a knot. And here I was thinking I could have a Blaise free day.

I don't move. Don't flinch. Don't even blink.

"...and David Miller," Professor Wallace finishes.

Three people. Just three of us in our little herb garden group. Nowhere to hide. Nowhere to run.

It doesn't matter, I tell myself. It's just a few hours of volunteer work. I can ignore him. I've been ignoring him for years. This is fine.

It's not fine. Nothing about this is fine.

Professor Wallace continues going through all of the teams, and when she’s done, she asks, "Is everyone clear on their assignments? Our bus leaves in thirty minutes. Please be in the lobby by 8:45."

I nod at Professor Wallace's question. My face stays blank while my internal monologue goes nuclear. Great. Fantastic. Perfect. Just what this trip needed. Blaise Dalton and I playing gardeners and spending more together.

I drain my orange juice like it's a shot of tequila, all the while wishing it had the same numbing effect.

Madison touches my arm. "Herb garden, huh? That sounds nice and peaceful."

"Yeah. Peaceful. Super excited about...herbs."

I shift to the edge of my chair, angling my body away from the table and away from him. If I can just make it through breakfast without further interaction, maybe I can find a way to switch groups. Or fake an illness. Or knock myself out by hitting a glass bottle over my head.

"I'm going to get more coffee," I announce to no one in particular, pushing my chair back.

I take my time refilling my cup and from this position, I can study the room while pretending to be deeply fascinated by the coffee condiments.

From where I am, I can see Blaise still sitting at the table, now talking with Tyler about something.

I want to know what they’re talking about, but also I don’t.

I swear my life has become more about me being a walking contradiction than anything else.

But at a certain point, I need to walk back to the table until it’s time for us to leave.

I take a sip of my coffee and then begin my journey back. By the time I return to the table, Madison and Tyler are chatting about some mathematician I've never heard of, while Blaise is on his phone. I slide into my seat, keeping my eyes on my coffee.

"Almost time to go," Madison says, checking her phone. "Should we head to the lobby?"

"Yeah," I say as I stand up and grab the small bag I decided to take. "Let's get this over with."

I’m excited about volunteering, it’s just who I’m doing it with that has me dreading every second. As I take another sip of my coffee all I can think is that at least I can say that none of this will be boring.