Page 51 of Great Uncle Henry (Pride & Prejudice Vagary)
U nfortunately, when Bennet made enquiries in Meryton to establish whether anyone had seen his wife and daughters, there were no positive responses, and the only thing he achieved was feeding the rumour mill with a story that he had mislaid his family.
He would have preferred remaining away from his house longer so he would not have to answer uncomfortable questions from his cousin.
The buffoon had a way of disrupting Bennet’s equanimity, something he enjoyed not a whit.
With his wife and daughters absent, the irony that he had invited the chucklehead to his home to discompose them was not lost on him. He was the only one suffering.
If only he had ignored the damned letter. Nothing he had planned had occurred since Collins arrived at Longbourn. As he rode home, he considered what he would tell the blockhead when he arrived and faced the inevitable questions.
If it was not too much like work, he would have taken Odysseus to the stables himself and removed his tack to delay facing his cousin.
Thankfully, when Hill opened the door, he did not see the corpulent fool, so Bennet made directly for his study.
He froze when he entered his sanctuary. Collins was sitting at his desk rifling through the papers he had there.
“ COLLINS !” Bennet yelled. “What on earth do you think you are doing? Who gave you permission to enter my study in my absence?”
Yelling reminded William Collins of his father.
The raised voice would usually precede a severe beating.
He cowered back when he heard the volume of his cousin’s voice.
He had to fight to stop from relieving himself in his trousers as he did each time his father used to beat him.
“W-when y-you w-w-were away s-so l-long, I w-worried s-s-something h-happened to you,” Collins stammered.
When his cousin did not advance on him, preparing to strike him, Collins regained some of his confidence.
“I was preparing to assume my role as the next master. When you left this morning, you said you would only be gone for about an hour.”
Bennet came very close to telling the odiferous man the truth of the entail, but he held off.
He was determined to recover some of his intended amusement from the situation.
He knew not when, but he was sure he would discover his absent family, and then they would know his displeasure.
“Unless and until you see my body and there is irrefutable evidence I am no longer in the mortal world, you will never enter my study again without my invitation. Do you understand?”
Although he was relatively sure Cousin Bennet would not beat him, Collins came around the desk slowly.
It was then Bennet saw the empty strongbox. “Collins, return every penny you removed from that,” he pointed, “or I will call you out. I hope you are a good shot or proficient with the foil.”
Still fighting his need to relieve himself, Collins emptied what he had taken from his pockets with all speed. “I was keeping it for safekeeping,” he dissembled.
“Begone from my sight; I do not want to see you until dinner time,” Bennet commanded.
He watched as Collins scurried out of the study.
After slamming his door, Bennet sat down in his chair.
The stench of his cousin lingered. He stood and opened both windows as much as possible before he opened the door.
Hopefully the eau de Collins would fade soon.
He counted the money the man, whom Bennet now believed was dishonourable, had replaced in the strongbox.
He checked the tally against the ledger, and it was only a penny off.
He locked the box and, rather than leave it in a drawer of his desk, he placed it in the safe hidden behind a panel in the bookcase at the rear of his desk.
If nothing else, Bennet had a reprieve of a few hours before he would need a reason why his wife and daughters were not home.
Although he still intended to have fun at Lizzy’s expense, Bennet began to accept he would never be able to force her to marry him, unless…
That may work, but it would depend upon Lizzy attending the assembly.
Yes, there was a path for him to exact his punishment on Lizzy.
She thought herself so intelligent; he would show her that he was the superior intellect.
~~~~~~~/~~~~~~~
Dinner at Netherfield Park’s dower house was a convivial affair with much mirth, most of which was supplied by the antics of one Thomas Bennet. The Taylors related his two calls on Purvis Lodge, the first since they had taken residence. The retelling was a source of amusement for all present.
Missives had been received from Phillips and the Hills, all of which Lizzy had read aloud to the company, mainly for Uncle Henry’s benefit.
“That man thought Mr Bennet was no longer alive and began to try and run the estate?” Fanny confirmed as she smiled widely. “If the information had not come from the Hills, I would have thought it was a fiction.”
“That former clergyman cannot be a very honest man to try and steal the estate’s funds.
Beside the fact that he broke one of the ten commandments, he would have hurt those who work at Longbourn,” Mary stated with disgust for her distant cousin.
“That is the money our father uses to pay those employed at the estate. Even without what we know of his conduct in Kent, we would know that Mr Collins has no honour.”
The two men—Richard Fitzwilliam and Albert de Bourgh—residing at Netherfield Park agreed with Miss Mary’s assessment.
The latter was well pleased Miss Charlotte Lucas was present again, while the former was becoming fascinated with Miss Eleanor Taylor. She was a free spirit and fun-loving, something for which he was looking. He cared not a whit she was from the former colonies and possibly had little or no dowry.
When the Taylors departed—after a lingering farewell between Mary and Roger—they conveyed Miss Lucas to her home on their way to Purvis Lodge. The two friends made their way back to the manor house.
“In the letter from Lord Matlock, he states he and his party will arrive on Thursday, the day of the assembly. He assumes that his younger son and Mr de Bourgh arrived and have been helpful.” Elizabeth summarised the contents of the letter from Snowhaven which had arrived that afternoon.
“They will depart at first light on Monday, as there is no pressing reason to travel over the Sabbath. They need the additional day, as Miss de Bourgh cannot travel for too long at a time. Mary and Kitty are looking forward to seeing Anna again, and for Jane, to meet her.”
“It will be interesting to meet Miss de Bourgh,” Henry opined. “I know a certain former parson who will be rather keen to see her.”
“More like horrified,” Jane corrected. “With Miss de Bourgh and her family here, it will make it impossible for Mr Collins to keep prevaricating as he did in his letter to Mr Bennet.” Since what their father had intended for Lizzy came to light, Jane also stopped referring to him as Father or Papa.
“It will be the final nail in the coffin of my Bennet nephew’s dreams of discomposing all of you,” Henry pronounced.
“Mama, did you send that note to Aunt Hattie?” Elizabeth enquired.
“Indeed, I did. I had it posted from Hertford yesterday; I am sure it will reach her today, so my husband will know at church on the morrow.” Fanny smiled. It was much more pleasant to be the one being amused than a source of entertainment for her uncaring husband.
~~~~~~~/~~~~~~~
“I thought your wife and daughters, especially my intended, would be home by now,” Collins said with a sniff when he entered the dining parlour for dinner that evening. “Are you not able to control your inferiors? Spare the rod, spoil the weak-minded, I say.”
“Are you aware that my wife’s brother lives in London?
” Bennet responded. The corpulent fool shook his head, sending his jowls rippling back and forth.
“My butler thought he had given me the note that my wife left. She and our four eldest daughters hied to London, as her brother is very ill. As soon as he is on the mend, they will be back.”
Collins could not be happy that he was yet to meet any of the Bennet ladies, and more to the point, the one he would soon marry.
He could not wait until he would be able to claim her house and any other property as his own.
He deserved to live in comfort until his cousin did him a favour and passed away.
Unfortunately, he could not argue against the ladies doing their duty to a male relative, so as much as he wanted to rail against not meeting his intended yet, he held his peace.
He was thankful Cousin Bennet had not brought up the subject of his trying to safeguard the estate funds earlier. In Collins’s mind, had he been able to succeed in removing the money, it would not have been theft, as it would all be his one day in any case. He could not rob from himself, could he?
Bennet lost his appetite watching his cousin consume every bit of food on his piled-high plate and fill it again twice more. Collins was large, but with the amount he consumed, Bennet was amazed the man did not suffer from gout.
Before his gluttonous cousin had worked on his third plate of food, Bennet stood and made his way to his study.
He could not watch, at least not without casting up his accounts, the ridiculous man shove food into his mouth and chew with it open, spraying half-masticated food about as he did.
Not for the first time, he asked himself why he had allowed the idiot to come.
He admitted to himself it all came down to revenge.