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Chapter forty

Rebecca

I ring Holt’s doorbell and hold my breath. After what feels like an eternity, the front door opens. I know Sutton’s right, I need to tell him about the envelope and let him decide how he wants to proceed, but that doesn’t mean I’m not nervous to see him.

He rocks back on his heels, shoving his hands into the pockets of his black athletic shorts when he sees me. He looks as rough as I feel. His hair is a tousled mess, pieces standing on end as though he was pulling on it, and my heart cracks knowing that I’m the cause of it.

“Rebecca, what are you doing here?”

“I—” I shake my head, starting to lose my nerve. I should have left the envelope with a note on his doorstep, but I’m here now, so I might as well get it over with. “Here.” I thrust the envelope at him. “I should have given you this when you stopped by earlier . . . I’m sorry I didn’t.”

He takes the envelope, glancing between it and me.

“What is this?”

“I’m sorry, Holt.” I turn to walk away.

“Wait, Becca.” He puts his hand on my shoulder. “Can we talk? What’s really going on? I at least deserve to know the truth. Please.”

The hurt in his voice is evident, and my shoulders sag.

“Open the envelope.”

He lets go of my shoulder, and I know I should walk away, but I can’t, so I stand fixed to the step, my back to him. I hear the crinkling of paper, followed by low muttering, and I know he’s either flipping through the photos or reading the letter.

He growls. I spin around to face him.

“This is not your fault.” He shakes the hand holding the stuff from Kat. “Please, Becca. Let’s talk.” His voice cracks.

I suck in a breath. “I-I’m sorry. Sorry for all of this.”

“Come in?” He tips his chin toward the house. I hesitate for a second before following him.

“I’m sorry . . .” I trail off at the sound of male voices coming from the living room.

Of course the guys would come over to check on Holt when they heard the news. My face heats up. The last thing I want to do is face them now. Or ever, really.

“Please stop apologizing. This is not your fault. But I need to know how you got these.” He points to where he’s set everything on the kitchen counter. “I need the whole story so we can figure out where to go from here.”

I take a deep breath, sitting down on a barstool. “It got delivered to the building. The doorman signed for it. He gave it to me yesterday afternoon . . . when I was on my way here, after I heard the trade rumors and couldn’t get a hold of you.”

“Shit.”

I stare down at the countertop and trace the patterns in the marble with my index finger.

“When we were shopping for houses, I saw a silver sedan. I swear I’ve seen the same one parked in front of our apartment building a few times.”

“I saw that car too. I figured it was someone in the neighborhood. But now that you’ve mentioned it, I remember seeing one like it a few times recently. I thought it was a coincidence seeing the same color and type of car all over the place. But maybe not.”

I wrap my arms around myself, trying not to think about the invasion of my privacy. Of Holt’s privacy. How angry it makes me feel.

“It’s too late for me to call my lawyer now, but I’ll do it first thing in the morning. I’ll see what he thinks, but I’m sure he’ll want us to file a police report and get a restraining order against Kat.” He meets my gaze.

“Okay.”

“Do you really want to break up with me?”

“Hey,” Wes says, walking into the kitchen. “Where did you . . .” He trails off, his eyes widening, when he catches sight of me. “Never mind,” he mumbles, backing back out of the room and disappearing.

I pick at my nails, thinking about Holt’s question. Of course I don’t want to break up with him. Of course I want to be with him.

But can I really?

Or will I be looking over my shoulder forever, waiting for Kat to show up again? Will I be worrying that something bad will happen to him? Or Hazel?

But what will not being with him solve? Won’t that essentially mean that Kat has won? I’ll be unhappy without him, and I have a feeling he’ll be unhappy without me.

Fuck her. She doesn’t get to win.

“Becca?” Holt prompts.

“No.” I look up at him. “I don’t want to break up with you. It’s the last thing I want, but it’s what I thought I had to do. To keep you and Hazel safe from her. But that’s what she wanted, right? For us to break up? I refuse to give her what she wants.” I scowl.

He makes his way over to me his arms outstretched, and I get up and sink into his touch, loving the way it feels to be in his arms.

Like I’m home.

Like he’s my home.

Tears well in my eyes and I take a shaky breath.

“It’s okay. Everything’s going to be fine. I promise.” Holt rubs my back, and I lean against him, letting him hold me up. “Can I kiss you?”

In answer, I pull back from him, go up on my tiptoes, and press my lips to his. With a contented hum, he kisses me back.

“Will you stay the night?” Holt whispers when the kiss ends.

“I’d like that. But I don’t have anything with me. ”

“I’m sure I can find you a shirt to wear to bed. Not that you’ll need anything.” He winks at me. “So no need to go home.” He pauses. “Unless you need to feed Peaches.”

I shake my head, smiling up at him. “No, she’s set for the night.”

“Good. Are you hungry?” My stomach rumbles. “There’s my answer. Come on, I’m sure the guys are hungry too. We’ll order takeout.”

We spend the next few hours eating pizza and hanging out with everyone.

Eventually, the guys leave, and Hadley feigns wanting an early night and heads to her room.

Holt and I get Hazel ready for bed together.

He gives her a bath while I make her bottle.

I clean up the last of the pizza and do the dishes while he feeds Hazel and gets her into bed.

Once everything is cleaned up, I take a seat on the couch, suddenly exhausted, the events of the twenty-four-ish hours catching up with me.

A few minutes later, I hear him come back downstairs and look up from where I’m scrolling on my phone to see him leaning casually against the wall, arms crossed, smirking.

“Yes?”

He pushes off the wall, stalking over to me and scoops me, throwing me over his shoulder. I squeal, dropping my phone on the couch, and squirming.

“Put me down.”

“Nope. You’re mine now.”

He gently smacks me on the ass as he carries me to his bedroom where he sets me on my feet with a kiss.

He rummages around in his dresser before handing me one of his shirts and leaves me to get ready for bed, telling me that there are extra toothbrushes in a basket under the sink.

When I walk out of the bathroom a few minutes later, I can’t help the smile that spreads over my face at the sight of him sound asleep on top of the blankets.

He grumbles when I gently nudge him awake, but eventually he gets up and goes to get ready for bed .

“I’m sorry, I’m so tired. I didn’t sleep well last night.” Yawning, he climbs into bed next to me and pulls me into his arms so I’m using his chest as a pillow. “I had all these plans of having my way with you.”

I giggle, patting his chest. “You sleep. We have plenty of time for those plans tomorrow or the day after.”

“Night, Becca,” he murmurs.

“Night, Holt.”

The last thought I have as I drift off to sleep is that I could get used to this, putting Hazel to bed together, then falling asleep curled up with him at the end of the day.