Page 41

Chapter thirty-nine

Holt

I’m lying on the floor playing with Hazel when the doorbell rings.

I don’t bother getting up. Hadley can answer it.

I focus on my daughter, who is cooing and giggling as she rolls back and forth on her play mat.

I swear every time she rolls, she gets faster and goes further.

I pull out my phone to take a video of her.

I can’t wait to show Becca. She’ll get a kick out of this.

Emotions well in my chest when I remember I can’t text or call her whenever now. That I won’t be seeing her anymore. At least not outside of the arena. I close my eyes.

W hat the hell did I do wrong?

I think back over the past few weeks, and then about our conversation earlier today. I thought everything was going well.

Voices, male voices, have me opening my eyes and sitting up.

“Hey, Holt.” Hunter comes strolling into the living room, Wes trailing behind him.

Cavalry’s here. Why am I not surprised? I knew it was only a matter of time before they showed up.

“What are you doing here?”

Wes takes a seat on the couch. “Hadley said you and Rebecca split up. That you came home upset after going to her place but wouldn’t say what happened.”

“Yeah. ”

I climb to my feet. No way I’m having this conversation while lying on the floor. No way I’m having this conversation at all, but one thing at a time.

Hunter tilts his head, studying me. “Want to clue us in to what happened?”

“Nothing. Didn’t work out between us.” I shrug my shoulders, trying to appear unaffected.

“Bullshit,” Wes says.

My gaze snaps to his. “What was that?”

He narrows his eyes. “I call bullshit. What really happened?”

“Nothing.” I cross my arms. “Can you please drop it?”

“We’re worried about you. Hadley’s worried about you,” Hunter says.

“I’ll be fine.”

“Like you were fine after you and Kat broke up?” Wes raises his eyebrows. “Like you were fine for months before you told us? That fine ?”

“Can you stay out of my love life?” I snap.

“No.” Wes strides over to me. “We’re. Fucking. Worried. About. You.” He punctuates each word with a poke to my chest.

I growl at him, knocking his hand away. “Weston Reynolds. Leave it the fuck alone.”

He crosses his arms. “She’s your one. I know it. You know it. Hell, she probably knows it. So tell us what the fuck happened, so we can figure out how to fix it.”

“She doesn’t want me,” I roar, curling my fists at my sides. “Because I’m not fucking good enough for her, for anyone. Okay?”

“Holt.” Hunter is at my side, his hand on my arm.

I shake him off.

“Don’t,” I shout, turning away from him.

Hazel starts crying.

“Holt Abbott,” Hadley snaps as she marches into the room.

Shit.

What am I doing yelling at my friends?

I scared my daughter.

I take a shaky breath.

My heart racing, I peek around at my friends and my sister, who has picked Hazel up and is comforting her.

“I’m sorry.” I drop my chin to my chest, staring down at the floor.

“Holt. You can’t keep things bottled up,” Hunter says.

“I’m embarrassed,” I whisper, trying to push the emotion out of my voice as I take a seat on the couch.

“What happened between you and Kat? The full story this time,” Wes says.

“How much time do you have?”

“As much time as you need,” Hadley answers.

I proceed to tell them everything that happened between Kat and me. I gloss over some of the details, like how she was unsatisfied in bed—they don’t need to know exactly what she said—and end by telling them about the counselor I’ve seen a few times.

“Fuck man. Why didn’t you tell us?” Wes asks, exchanging a look with Hunter.

“I didn’t want to talk about it. Besides, when it did come out that we weren’t together anymore, it was because I’d just had my daughter—who I didn’t even know existed—dumped on me, courtesy of said ex.

There wasn’t time for me to rehash everything that happened.

I figured I’d eventually get over everything with Kat. ”

Hunter nods. “Now, fill us in with what happened with Rebecca earlier.”

I tell them as much of the conversation as I can remember.

“She was fine yesterday morning when I talked to her. My phone was dead in the evening when she tried to call me, and then shit hit the fan this morning.”

“Do you think Kat got to her?” Hadley asks.

“Really, that’s what you’re going with?”

As the words leave my mouth, I remember the conversations Becca and I had about how she blames herself for what happened to her brother, to her dad, and even to her mother. Maybe there is something in what Hadley suggested. Before I can tell them, the doorbell chimes.

“I’ve got it,” I say, getting to my feet.