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Chapter thirty-two

Rebecca

I’m sipping my coffee on the couch, enjoying a relaxing morning since I don’t have to go to the office today, when there’s a knock on my door. I set my coffee cup down and jump to my feet.

Who the hell is knocking at nine in the morning?

Is there something wrong with Hazel?

Holt?

My heart skips a beat. The team had a game last night, and then, if I remember correctly, they were going to fly home right afterward since they have a home game tomorrow.

Reaching my door, I peek through the peephole, furrowing my eyebrows when I see a very disheveled Holt standing on the other side.

“Holt. What are you—“ I start to ask when I open the door.

He pulls me into his arms, letting out a shuddering breath, and I register that he’s shaking.

“Hey. What’s wrong?” I ask.

He shakes his head, still clinging to me, his breathing ragged.

“Let’s go inside,” I say, and he lets go of me enough so that we can step into my apartment. He closes the door behind him, and locks it. “You’re scaring me, Holt. Please talk to me.”

He stares at me for a few seconds before taking my hand and leading me to the living room, where he takes a seat, patting his lap.

I do what he wants, leaning back against his chest, and he wraps his arms around me.

Reaching over, I pick up the remote and turn the television off, not wanting or needing the distraction.

“Kat showed up,” he finally says.

“She what?” I turn so I can face him, reaching up a hand and caressing his chin.

His eyes flutter closed. “She showed up after the game in Vancouver. Asked about Hazel. Said things about her and me, about Hazel. About wanting to see her.” He furrows his brow.

“Fucking hell.”

“I already talked to my lawyer. She signed her parental rights away. There’s nothing she can do to change that.

” He blows out a breath, his eyes opening and meeting mine.

“She’s used to getting her way.” He raises a shoulder in a half shrug.

“I don’t know what she’s capable of. She can be quite convincing when she wants to be. ”

“You mean manipulative.”

He runs a hand over his face. “Yep, that.” His shoulders drop, and I notice the bags under his bloodshot eyes. “I can’t figure out what her end goal is. Why did she crawl out of her hole and show up?”

“Because she’s a bitch.”

He barks out a laugh, shaking his head. “She is. I wish I knew that before I started dating her.”

“Beating yourself up about it isn’t going to change anything.” I lean against him, and he wraps his arms around me.

“I know.” He inhales sharply before speaking again.

“I called and left a message for a therapist Coach recommended. I don’t want to live like this anymore.

” He shakes his head. “I couldn’t sleep on the plane ride home.

All I did was replay the conversation Kat and I had over and over.

Wondering where I went wrong. How I missed all the signs.

I can’t spend the rest of my life doing that. ”

“I’m proud of you,” I tell him, leaning up to kiss his cheek.

He blushes. “I just want to be the best dad I can be for Hazel, and right now, I don’t feel as though I can be.”

I squeeze his arm that’s wrapped around me.

“You’re setting a great example for her, even if she’s too young right now to understand or remember.

She’ll grow up knowing it’s okay to ask for help when you’re not okay.

Now, come on.” I climb off his lap, and hold out my hand. “You need a nap. Doctor’s orders.”

He takes my hand and lets me lead him to my room.

“Only if the doctor is going to nap with me.”

“But we’re sleeping.” I point a finger at him. “No funny business, mister.”

He nods, leaning down to kiss me. The kiss is short and sweet. Different from our other kisses. He rests his forehead against mine. “Thank you, sweetheart.”

He steps back and tugs off his shirt, then kicks off his Crocs before crawling into my bed.

I grin.

I like seeing him in my bed.

He belongs here, in my space.

I get in on the other side, and he tugs me toward him, resting his head on my chest and holding me tightly. I stroke his hair as he clings to me.

Eventually, his breathing evens out as he falls asleep.

Poor guy.

If I ever see that bitch of an ex-girlfriend of his . . . I’ve never been in a fight. Heck, I’ve never hit or punched anyone. But that will definitely change if I ever see her. I’m usually opposed to violence, but in this case, she deserves it.

I close my eyes. Holt is holding me so tightly, and I don’t want to wake him up trying to get out of bed. I’ll just rest here for a little while. I doubt I’ll fall asleep since I’m not a napper.

“Mmm.” I moan as kisses are peppered down my neck and across my shoulder.

I gasp, my eyes fluttering open as the dream fades away. Except it wasn’t a dream.

“Hi,” Holt greets me, lifting his head, a sly smile on his face.

“Hey.” I turn so I can kiss him, his hands caressing me.

His tongue swipes against my lips, and I open for him, getting lost in the way he tastes like peppermint. I groan, pulling away.

“What’s wrong?” He leans back so he can look at me, reaching up to brush a lock of hair out of my face.

“I probably have bad breath. I was drinking coffee before you came over.”

“Your breath is fine.”

“If you say so. How was your nap?”

“Best sleep I’ve had in forever. Probably because of the beautiful woman I woke up wrapped around. Now I’m wondering if she wants to do anything else in this bed.” He winks.

Why does he look so hot with his hair tousled from sleep?

I really don’t understand how his ex could treat him the way she did.

He’s all things good and kind. Sweet and sexy.

An amazing father, friend, and brother. How she could walk away from him is beyond me.

But her loss is my gain, and for that, I’m grateful.

“Sorry, I misread everything. I’m going to go.” He starts to climb out of the bed.

“Woah. Woah. Big guy, slow down.” I grab his arm, tugging him back toward me. “I got lost in my thoughts for a minute. Admiring the view. I forgot you asked me a question.”

“I’m sorry. I’m not good at this.”

I sit up, reaching for him. “Not good at this? How are you not good at this?”

Fucking Kat.

He shakes his head, blushing. “I’m nervous,” he whispers. “Nervous, I’m going to mess this up. That you won’t enjoy what I say or do. That I won’t be able to get you off . . .”

My heart cracks open at his words.

This man.

This sweet, sweet man. How anyone could make him feel this way is beyond me.

“I highly doubt that you’ll do or say anything I don’t like. If you do, I’ll tell you.” I take a deep breath, trying to tread lightly. “I won’t be mad at you, that’s for damn sure. We’re still learning each other’s bodies.” I run my hand through his hair. “I want you to touch me. Please.”

We stare at each other for a few seconds. “You have to promise—”

I cut him off with a kiss that leaves us both breathless.

“Holt, I trust you.”

He blinks rapidly a few times, emotion clouding his face, before clearing his throat. “Thank you, Rebecca. You don’t know what hearing you say that means to me.”

I lean closer, kissing him again before pulling away so I can look at him. Make sure we’re on the same page.

Instead of saying anything, he hauls me against him and crashes his lips against mine, sinking his fingers into my hair and gently angling my head how he wants it. My hands fall against his naked chest, and I run my nails along the cords of his muscles. He groans.

My hand trails down his stomach until it finds his hard cock pushing against the confines of his athletic shorts. I palm him, a moan slipping past my lips as he pushes against me.

I need him.

All of him.

There’s too many fucking clothes in the way.

He pulls away from me, and I whine, missing the contact until he kisses down my neck and shoulder.

I tip my head back, giving him more access.

He thrusts against my hand. If my panties weren’t ruined before, they are now.

His hands trail down my body, and he circles a finger around my nipple, which is straining against my shirt.

I moan. He continues his journey, exploring my body, his fingers leaving a trail of heat until they’re ghosting over the waistband of my shorts.

“Holt, please.” My voice comes out husky. I’m so fucking turned on, and we still have our clothes on.

“Please what, sweetheart?” he asks, leaning down and mouthing my breast over my shirt.

“Touch me,” I rasp.

“I am touching you.”

I push him away and he lets me go, watching me through hooded eyes. Meeting his gaze, I pull my shirt up over my head and let it fall to the ground next to the bed, my breasts on display since I wasn’t wearing a bra.

He inhales sharply as his eyes track down my body, and I can’t help the smirk on my face. I get up on my knees and shimmy out of my shorts and underwear, then sit down to pull them off.

“Rebecca.”

“Yes?” I ask, moving so I’m lying on my back.

He stares down at me for so long I start to think he’s not going to do anything, but then in one movement, he’s on top of me.

His hard cock nestles between my thighs, his shorts the only barrier between us, as he sucks on one of my nipples.

“Just like that,” I praise, sinking my hands into his hair and dragging my nails along his scalp. “Now be a good boy, and make me come.”

He growls against my skin, flexing his hips against me. “Say that again, and I’ll be coming in my pants.”

I giggle, yanking gently on his hair so he lifts his head and looks at me. “If you’re a good boy, I’ll make you come. As many times as you want.”

He groans at my words.

“Please,” he husks out. Crawling off me, he stands and shoves his pants and boxers down.

My breath catches in my throat. He’s gorgeous. His body chiseled from hours spent at the gym and on the ice. Don’t get me started on his gloriously thick cock that’s hard as a rock.

I clench my thighs together at the thought of what it will feel like inside me. Heaven, I imagine. Like nothing I’ve felt before.

He chuckles, stroking himself a few times.

“Keep staring at me that way and I’ll be coming before you touch me. How do you want me to make you come, sweetheart?”

“W-what?” I ask, my brain short circuiting.

He sits on the bed, running a hand over my body. “Do you want to come on my fingers, or my tongue?”

I swallow. “Dealer’s choice.”

He smirks, sinking down onto the bed next to me.