Page 43

Only one outcome

Remy

I wasn’t sure what to expect when I went to practice. The team had won the three away games, but Lappy had been pulled in his one start, and Keats had gotten the credit for all three wins.

The way practice was set up, Lappy was getting the start again tonight. I watched him, wondering if I was seeing problems where no one else did. Was I scrambling for something because I was looking to keep my position on this team and have a chance to stay close to Sophie?

I caught Hanny’s attention and he skated over to where I was waiting by the bench. “How do you think Lappy is doing?”

His gaze followed the young goalie in net, carefully listening to Otts. “He was shaky that last start, but he’s definitely got the skills when he’s on.”

I sighed. Maybe I was worried about nothing. All players had their struggles.

“Why are you asking?”

“The coaches asked how I thought he was doing. I think the pressure’s affecting him, but they think I’m just hoping to get more starts if they send him down.”

“Are you?”

I shrugged. “Every goalie wants to start. I’d like to be objective, but I’m not sure I can be.”

“I’ll keep an eye on him this game,” Hanny promised.

He didn’t get the chance to. The coaches didn’t mention a trade to me, but they did tap me to be the backup for the game. When I got to the arena and went in to warm up, I saw Lappy’s suit hung up in his locker but I didn’t see him at the bikes, or on the treadmills, or in the weight room.

Once I was warm, I checked again. And no sign of Lappy. I asked a couple of the guys but no one knew where he was. I finally went to Otts’s office and told him Lappy was missing.

“Missing? He’s late?”

I shook my head. “His suit is hung up in his stall, but I can’t find him anywhere.”

Otts ran a hand over his chin. “I’ll look for him. You need to suit up. I’ll let Keats know he might be needed.”

I was a lot more worried about Lappy than whether Keats would be on the bench or not. I headed to the locker room but paused before I went inside. Where would I go if I was a young guy feeling the pressure to the point where it got to be too much?

I headed to the showers. They weren’t used much before the game. We had a newish facility and the showers were nice. Separate stalls, lots of privacy.

I paused inside the doorway and heard…something. I went down the aisle, checking each stall. In the last one, I found Lappy.

He was in his warm-up gear, curled into a ball, sweaty and shaky.

“Lappy?” No response. “Laplante? Jacques?”

Nothing. I squatted down beside him, not sure if I should risk touching him.

“Comment ca va?” How are you?

He turned to look at me then, pupils tiny points in wide-open eyes. Shit. This was not good. He pulled in a long breath and then upchucked over the two of us.

They put Keats in the game and got an emergency backup goalie, or EBUG, to sit on the bench.

Lappy was taken to the hospital and insisted I go with him.

We found pills in his pocket, something he’d taken to try to improve his performance and deal with the pressure.

It was stupid, but he’d taken the wrong amount, struggling with the English instructions.

The Aces lost while we were at the hospital. I left once Lappy was sleeping, and the team finally called a French speaker to keep him company. I’d let Sophie know I wasn’t sure when I’d be home and she’d taken Beast. I crashed once I got back to the carriage house.

There was a message on my phone when the sun woke me up in the morning, asking me to report to the team as soon as possible. I quickly showered and swallowed coffee. Sophie agreed to continue taking care of Beast for me, and I met with the coaches again.

“We’re sorry we didn’t take your warning more seriously, Remy. Lappy was obviously struggling and we missed it.” Mack shot a glance at Otts.

“He’s going to be all right?”

“Yeah. Best we can tell, that was his first time using something to help out. Once he’s cleared from the hospital, he’s going to take leave and rest up, talk to some shrinks, ones who can speak French.”

“I’m glad. He’s a good kid—and a good goalie.”

“You were concerned about him, and you found him when he needed someone last night. We’ve got some decisions to make in the next few days before the trade deadline, but we want you here through the end of the season. The team can use someone with your maturity and experience.”

“Uh, thank you.”

“We have some things to deal with but Coach Trent wanted to talk to you.”

Oh. Otts wasn’t meeting my gaze, so I had no idea what was up. But if my job was secure for the rest of the season, then Sophie and I had a chance to make something together that might last after hockey was wrapped up for the year.

I followed Otts to his office.

“Have a seat.” He shut the door behind me and I sat down.

Otts settled behind his desk and rubbed his hands through his hair. I waited for him to decide what to say.

He leaned back in his chair and let out a long sigh. “I love my dad, I do, but it’s not easy.”

I shifted in my seat. This was not what I thought he’d be talking about.

“The problem might have started with his dad, my grandfather, I don’t know. But once I was born, we were in a competition, Dad and me. He signed me up for T-ball, softball, anything like that, but all he talked about was how he’d done so much better.”

Sophie had mentioned something about this, but maybe even she didn’t understand just how much of an issue it was for Otts.

“When Cash started playing hockey, it was like a light went off. Hockey was fun, and challenging, and totally different than baseball. So I went all in, and I did pretty well.”

I nodded. I had no idea how he’d have done in baseball, but he’d been great at hockey.

“People stopped comparing me to Dad, but he didn’t. He just compared goals against with batting average or whatever. He never let me forget that you beat me at the World Juniors, and in the Calder Cup.”

I held up a hand. “But you won the Cup that counts. And the Vezina.”

“Dad won the World Series and some Gold Gloves. He was still coming out on top. And then I got injured, and you even beat me there.”

“What the fuck?” We were competing with injuries?

He waved a hand. “You played again, I didn’t. It’s fucked, I know, but this is how he goes on. I started coaching, and that’s not something he’s ever done. It was something all mine—but I needed to succeed. And I let that distract me from how Lappy was struggling.”

So that was why Otts had been a little cavalier about the language issue and the stress. “I’m sure you tried. I did what I could but he wouldn’t let anyone help. Lappy has his own fucked-up issues messing him up.”

Otts snorted. “Don’t we all. I wanted to apologize. I should have listened to you, but this stupid competition thing my dad keeps pushing was affecting how I responded. I’m going to talk to someone about that. It’s part of the reason Maria dumped me. Part of why Sophie and I couldn’t make it.”

I wasn’t going to tell him I knew more about that than he’d like. “While we’re on the topic of Sophie…”

He stared at me, then rubbed his hands over his face. “You and Sophie. Right. Damn it all, my first thought was that my dad is going to use this. That is so fucked.”

“Sophie is amazing. And that’s got nothing to do with the fact that you were married to her.”

“I know, I know. I should say I’m happy for you or some shit, but the best I can do for now is try to keep it out of our professional relationship.” He dropped his hands. “Are you telling everyone?”

I shook my head. “It’s still new. But someone might see us, and I wanted you to know.”

“Which is better than what I did with Maria. It sucks to find out you’re the one who’s actually the asshole.”

“Is that all you wanted to talk about?” I was looking forward to telling Sophie that Otts wasn’t going to be a problem.

“No, we’ve got some work to do with Lappy.”

“Anything I can do to help?”

That brought a smile to his face. “You can, I hope. We’re going to have him start on the farm team next season, and we want someone with him, someone to advise him and keep him from repeating what happened yesterday.”

I waited for the rest of it, but when nothing more came, I understood. “Me?”

“If you get an offer to play, I’ll understand if you take that instead.

But we’d like you to help Lappy here. Now, I’m not trying to be the asshole, but I’m not sure you’ll get an offer.

This job with the farm team would only be part-time, but leaving hockey is a difficult adjustment and it might help. ”

There were a lot of thoughts shooting through my head. Not playing. Staying in Austin. Being near Sophie. What about the cottage? Beast—if I wasn’t playing, maybe I could work with some of the animals at the shelter. Could I actually be of any help to Lappy?

“You’ll need to think it over. Not sure if it’s something you want to talk about with Sophie, but that’s something I will stay clear of.

” He pushed to his feet. “I hope you accept our offer for next season. Lappy might not have confided in you, but he says you’re someone he trusts.

That you’re weird, but that’s a given for a goalie, right? ”

I stood up and shook the hand he’d offered.

“I’ll think about it.”

Sophie

I’d left the guitar at Diane’s after my confrontation with Dad.

I’d wanted to speak to Remy while I was still fired up.

I was pleased that I’d been willing to push for what I wanted.

Now, while he was back at the arena for a team practice and to find out his short-term future, I was at String Theory to work on mine.