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No one has ever

Remy

My feelings were mixed after Sophie and I talked.

I was glad that at least she was willing to continue what we had, because I didn’t want to give it up.

But I was disappointed she was okay with keeping it casual, since my feelings were not casual anymore.

And there was the whole issue of her ex, which made doing anything complicated.

Casual meant he wouldn’t find out. Not needing to worry about Otts and his potential reaction eased a lot of tension. But I still wanted more.

Then came the break in February. I had most of two weeks off.

Some of the guys from the team were playing in the tournament and the rest of us were keeping up our conditioning, but we didn’t have regular practices.

I was committed to the damned photo shoot for the shelter over this break, but I was free the rest of the time.

I’d hoped that the photo shoot happening while we didn’t have games on meant that the rest of the team wouldn’t be around.

I was wrong. On the day, after we worked out and did some light drills with the assistant coach, everyone cleared the ice to let the photography people get set up.

I showered, put on the shelter T-shirt I’d been given for the occasion, and found everyone else hanging around the locker room waiting.

“What’s wrong?” There had to be some reason they were grinning at me.

“We’re here to see your close-up.” Chet smirked.

“Fuck no.” I didn’t need an audience.

“It’s a free country.”

Being a free country had nothing to do with these clowns hanging around while someone took pictures of me holding rescue animals. Thank goodness Bob had already been adopted, or I’d be covered in drool.

The guys followed me out to the ice, because I had no way short of physical force to stop them, and I was outnumbered.

While I’d been cleaning up, the photo people had things ready and Delores was waiting there with a number of crates.

I heard the growling and hissing as soon as I came out of the tunnel.

Delores had a big smile on her face. “This is so amazing! The shelter has already been getting more donations since your team started promoting this.”

I shook hands with the older couple who’d won the bid at the auction. They’d lost their family pet recently, so they’d been attracted to the idea of helping animals get homes. The first in a long series of photos were taken of me, and Cian, and the couple.

The rest of the team was catcalling. Delores brought out a pit bull mix who was overwhelmed by the bright lights and noises. Her teeth were bared and she was growling, but her tail was tucked between her legs. I knelt down in front of her. She reminded me a lot of Beast.

She wasn’t ready for this, not right now. She needed to be calmed down. But Delores had a lot of animals to take care of, so I could help this poor girl if the photographers could start with someone else…and an idea popped into my head.

“Hanny!” I called.

He came over, keeping a wary eye on the dog I was dealing with. “Yeah?”

“See that woman over there at the net?” They had a camera set up there, wanting pictures of a hockey player and a rescue animal in front of the conspicuous hockey background. “Tell Delores you and the guys can help.”

“Help how?”

“She’ll figure it out.”

By the time I had the pitty ready for a shot, five of my teammates had been paired up with an animal and been photographed. Now I had fewer photos to do since the other guys had posed for most of the shots.

Smartest idea I’d had in a long time. It cost me—the guys insisted I had to spring for lunch since they’d done my job. I took them to the Tex-Mex place Sophie and Diane had taken me, near the shelter.

Surprisingly, it turned out to be a great day.

The next day, while I was still feeling smug about what I’d done at the shoot, Cavanaugh mentioned in the weight room that he’d made reservations for Valentine’s Day at some restaurant that sounded expensive. A couple of other guys mentioned the plans they’d booked.

Right . It was February fourteenth soon.

Was I supposed to do something for Sophie?

How did casual work with Valentine’s Day?

We’d gone out a couple of times, but I hadn’t been recognized and she hadn’t seen anyone she knew.

Making a big deal of being together didn’t seem right, not when we didn’t have a future, but ignoring the fourteenth of February altogether felt wrong. Like she wasn’t important.

Hanny didn’t have any advice beyond talking to her. “You don’t know if she wants to do something, not with the weird arrangement you have. Maybe she prefers something low-key. So, ask her.”

“Wouldn’t it be more romantic to just plan something nice and surprise her?”

“I don’t know, Remy. Just how romantic are the two of you?”

That shut me up. Because I’d like to be as romantic as fuck, but I was holding back. If I made a big deal of the day, would she think I was pushing too hard? Or would she be disappointed if I didn’t?

Hanny was right. I texted her.

Do you want to do something Friday?

After five minutes watching the phone, I shook my head. She was busy working and I’d just have to wait. But considering the bad luck Smitty was having trying to get a reservation, it wouldn’t be easy to get a booking on Friday. My status on the team wouldn’t pull many strings.

I went back to the carriage house after working out.

For shorter periods I was comfortable leaving Beast alone now.

He didn’t destroy the contents and only barked when the cat came around.

If that bothered anyone, they were free to make the cat leave.

I had taken Beast out for a short walk, including a long pee, before I got a response from Sophie.

Everything will be booked. And busy. What about doing Saturday instead?

She must know Friday was Valentine’s Day, since that was why every restaurant was so busy.

Was I relieved that she was being practical, or disappointed that we weren’t spending Valentine’s Day together?

Maybe I needed to slow my roll and take this for what it was.

I agreed to Saturday, and Sophie said she knew a good place.

When I picked her up, she was wearing a dress with heels and jewelry. Her hair was down and curling. My dress slacks and shirt with a blazer matched style-wise. At least for dressing, we were on the same page.

She punched the address into the GPS again. I was getting more familiar with the city and could navigate easily. I had a few restaurants I liked, the bar the team liked to hang out at, and was getting comfortable here. Which meant I was probably about to leave.

I pulled my mind away from that. “You look great.”

She smiled. “Thank you. I hope you were okay going out tonight? I didn’t think you were set on Valentine’s Day, and the day after is so much less chaotic. Everyone who was out last night is probably staying in tonight, and things like flowers and chocolates drop in price.”

“That’s very practical.”

She flushed. “Do you mind? Ollie and I always…”

Hmm. Ollie hadn’t wanted to make the effort to go out on the day? Did no one put themselves out for her? “I’m good with whatever you want. But if you’d wanted the fourteenth, I wouldn’t have minded paying more for flowers or going out on a busy night.”

She swallowed. “Thanks. Maybe it’s just when you’re married that you think with your head, not your emotions.”

Maybe. But not every married couple was like that. “So what’s this place like?”

“Asian. I thought something different would be nice.”

There was a parking garage not far from the restaurant, so we left the truck there and went on foot the last block.

We walked side by side, together but not touching.

I wanted to reach out and hold her hand but…

gambling with my hockey career wasn’t smart.

That would prove to people that we were more than friends.

Sophie had made a reservation but there was no line, not tonight.

The hostess grabbed menus and led us toward a table at the back.

Partway there, Sophie abruptly halted. I put my hands on her waist so that I didn’t unbalance her as I made a late stop of my own.

I followed her gaze to a table and saw Otts. With Maria.

His jaw dropped as he stared at the two of us. “Sophie?”

She was tense beneath my hands. I dropped them quickly. Had he seen?

“Hi, Ollie,” she responded.

Oh shit. Maria’s eyes were wide as she stared between Otts and Sophie. Then Otts looked past her to me and his lips tightened. Fuck. He must have seen.

I nodded. “Coach. Maria.”

“What are you…”

I took a step back. The anger on Otts face made it all too clear that he was pissed. And he was my coach. A couple of words from him and I could be traded. And at my age? Other teams wouldn’t be interested in signing me. I might have fucked up my whole hockey future.

What future? said a voice in my head.

Sophie stepped away from me, her chin up. “I’m showing Remy some of the restaurants I enjoy. We’re neighbors, and he doesn’t know the city.”

She was covering for me. She understood that hockey was my top priority.

Just like performing was for her family.

And Otts’s reputation was for him. Which made me another asshole using her.

And for once, I made a decision that wasn’t for hockey.

I reached out for her hand and pulled her close.

“We’re here to eat. Less crowded than last night, right?

Next year I’ll have to book in advance.”

I nudged Sophie forward and she blinked before following the curious hostess to the table they’d set aside for us.

Once we were seated with our menus, I leaned forward. “Are you okay? We could leave, or just have a drink and then leave.” As far as my issues with Otts were concerned, it was too late to change anything. But if Sophie was uncomfortable, I’d happily go.

“Why did you say that to Ollie? I was giving you an out.”

I set my menu down. “That wouldn’t be fair to you.”

A furrow creased her brow as she studied me. “But Ollie was pissed. And I don’t think it was just at me. Aren’t you worried about what he might do?”

“Yeah. A bit.” A lot. “But if you’re willing to be with me, if I get the privilege of your time and attention, then you get respect. And pretending we didn’t come here on a date is not respectful. Or honest.”

The corners of her mouth tilted up. “Really?”

I nodded.

“No one has ever…” she started.

“That’s on them, not you.” The decision felt right, down to my bones. I refused to be another person who didn’t value Sophie.

“Okay, let’s stay and enjoy our meal. Want to know what’s good?”

There was still some tension, so I checked. “You sure you want to stay while Otts is here?”

She sighed. “Sorry. I’m kind of…irritated. Because he has Maria here, and this was a place we came together. And the day after Valentine’s was our thing. But then, I’m here with you, so why should I care?”

That was the question, wasn’t it. “Feelings aren’t always cut and dried.”

She met my gaze. “I’m not in love with Ollie. We’ll probably always have a connection of some kind, thanks to our families, but I don’t want to be with him. Not now. We were never meant to be more than friends. And the way he’s behaving makes me wonder if I really knew him at all.”

“You’re sure?”

“Absolutely.”

She was happy to give me her opinion on what to eat, and I followed her suggestions. The food wasn’t the reason I was here. Better that the food was good than inedible, but the main draw was Sophie.

Once we’d ordered, I asked her how her guitar was going. The big smile on her face when she repeated that she would play it for me assured me that I was doing okay in this relationship, or whatever this thing was. I was pretty sure we’d now blown past casual.

Otts was gone before we ordered dessert.

When we got back to the house, Sophie came up to my place, and I used my hands and mouth and cock to prove to her that she was special, on February fifteenth and fourteenth.

I left a sleepy Sophie in my bed in the morning before I went to the practice arena for my workout.

Since I was the only goalie in town, Otts hadn’t been to practices, which was a relief.

There were two games on in the Four Nations Tournament, and Hanny insisted I join him at the pub after our workout to watch with the rest of the guys who were here.

I didn’t take much convincing, truthfully.

Maybe I wouldn’t be playing next year, but I could enjoy the company of my teammates as long as I had them.

I cheered on the Canadian team but they lost to the United States. Not surprising, since the US was the favorite, but it was just the round robin. I hoped it wasn’t an indication they’d lose in the finals, or that I didn’t have a bright future either.