Page 30

We don’t have to be good

Sophie

Remy got up and started to dress. My muscles tensed, relaxation leaking away.

It had been a long time since I’d slept with someone outside of a relationship, and I had forgotten to keep my guard up.

I’d wanted sex and he’d agreed. Which was fine.

He’d helped me feel desirable, but now we had to get on with our lives.

I made sure no disappointment showed on my face. “Leaving?”

He sighed. “Beast.”

Right. I’d forgotten the dog. I checked the clock and guessed that Beast would need to pee if nothing else by this point.

He picked up his shirt and pulled it on. Then stepping into his pants, his back to me, said, “Another time it would be smarter to be at my place, so Beast isn’t a problem.”

Another time? Was that an option? Would I want that? And to be at Remy’s… The muscles tightened under his tattoo. He was expecting a no. “Does Beast behave when you have someone over?” I blurted.

He shot me a glance as he picked up his socks. “You’ve been there.”

“Yes, but, when…”

A corner of his mouth twitched. “I don’t know about when . There hasn’t been any when since I got him.” He balanced on one foot while he pulled on a sock, coordination I wasn’t sure I could manage. “Knowing Beast, he’d make it as awkward as possible.”

That left open a lot of possibilities. Staring, barking, trying to get involved. “You do have a door on your bedroom.”

He glanced at me again, more relaxed. “I do.”

I shrugged. “Something to keep in mind.”

“I will.”

I watched as he buttoned up his shirt, my mind spinning. Did I want to have sex with Remy again? No, the real question was would I want to do this again when I wasn’t still feeling sex hormones, because the answer was yes while those hormones were at the wheel. Remy was willing, so…

I sat up, self-conscious, and grabbed some pajamas I had nearby. I pulled them on, pretending an attractive man I’d just slept with wasn’t watching—was he?—and prepared my smile. “I’ll see you out and lock up.”

“Thanks.”

I let Remy lead the way to the door, tugging on the short bottoms of my pajamas. I tried to rehearse a proper good night, but he turned to face me before I could say anything.

A hand cupped my jaw and he pressed a gentle kiss to my lips. “Thanks for tonight. I won’t pressure you, but you know where to find me.”

He turned and walked out the door while I stared after him, finally remembering to close it.

I thought I’d toss and turn most of the night, stressing about Ollie and Dad and anything else my mind could bring up. But once I was back in my bed, the scent of Remy’s cologne lingering on the sheets, I fell into a deep sleep. If I dreamed, I didn’t remember it.

I woke up with Goober staring at me in disapproval.

She did this every morning, so I knew it wasn’t sleeping with Remy that had upset her.

Or if it was, she was more focused on getting fed than anything else.

I stretched and headed for the kitchen and her food bowl.

Once she was taken care of, I made coffee and toasted some bread.

I curled up on the couch, enjoying the moment before I’d have to deal with the repercussions of yesterday.

My phone blared. It took me a minute to find it in the purse I’d carried last night and left near the front door. The caller stopped before I’d pulled the phone out but it immediately started to chime again.

Once I had it in my hand, it was no surprise to find Ollie’s name on the screen. I debated whether or not to answer. He’d keep calling, but I could always text that I’d speak to him later. My relaxed mood was shot though, so I went ahead and swiped.

“Good morning, Ollie.”

“What happened last night?”

My lips tightened. None of his business. “I’m fine, thanks for asking. How are you?”

He huffed. “I’m fine. Sorry. I just didn’t know you’d be there last night.”

“Seems we both got a surprise.”

I heard him sigh, and his voice lost its belligerence. “I didn’t know how to tell you.”

“The cat’s out of the bag now.” Goober was winding through my feet, at risk of tripping me. I made it back to the couch safely and dropped onto it. “But FYI, telling me would have been a lot better than getting sideswiped like that.”

“You’re right. I’m an asshole. Are you upset?”

Not as much as I had been. “Why didn’t you tell me you were seeing someone?”

“Oh, Soph.” I could picture him running his hands over his face. “Part of the problem with our families being so close after the divorce is that it’s hard to share news that’s related to dating, or sex.”

“Because if we weren’t connected by family, I’d never need to know.”

“Exactly. And somehow after you break up, it’s a competition for who moves on first.”

“You always were competitive,” I said dryly.

“It’s not like that.”

Maybe it wasn’t, but the fact that I’d had sex last night, with someone else, made me much more confident in this conversation. “So tell me, what is it like?”

“I met her a month or so ago, at a PR thing. She was there for her job, and we just…connected.”

“And the kids?”

He didn’t speak for a moment, and then his voice was hesitant. “She has two boys. They like hockey.”

How nice. “But when we couldn’t have kids, you wouldn’t consider adoption, IVF, anything like that. You were worried about your father and his legacy obsession.”

“I know. I was. I am.”

But somehow this time he was willing to consider options that he hadn’t with me. Me, the woman he’d known most of this life, and been married to. But for this woman, someone he’d known for a month, he was.

“Seeing you last night, with Remy, was a shock. How did that happen?”

I wasn’t going to tell him he invited me for moral support to help raise money for the shelter, only for us to sleep together because Ollie had hurt me. “That doesn’t really matter.”

“I hope he isn’t still making it some kind of competition.” Ollie sounded more like himself—confident, forceful, sure.

But last night a sexy, attractive man had made me come twice and was interested in a repeat. I wasn’t letting Ollie take that away from me. “Are you seriously implying that the only reason a man would invite me out would be to try and make you jealous?”

A pause. “No, no, sorry. You looked good last night. Beautiful. No surprise someone asked you. I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

I’d been hurt by Dad and Ollie, not Remy last night. But I was speaking to Remy’s boss, who could make his life hell if he really wanted to. I needed to make sure last night didn’t upset his hockey life.

“Remy asked me to go with him last night because he’s awkward at events like that, and I’m used to them.

He was raising money for an animal shelter and wanted things to go well.

We went as friends.” I wasn’t sure we were still “friends” but that wasn’t any of Ollie’s business.

“That said, I’m going to suggest you should worry about my possible relationships as much as you want me to worry about yours. ”

“Fair. You’re an adult. I didn’t mean to talk down to you.”

I knew he didn’t mean to, but he was used to being in charge and knowing what he was doing. Had I let him do too much of that when we were together?

“Now, since you know about Maria and the boys, I can tell you that I want to bring them to the families’ Christmas.”

I couldn’t answer for a moment. For Christmas? Already?

“Her family has their celebration Christmas Eve, so she’s invited me to join them. And then they can meet everyone on my side Christmas Day.”

They could meet everyone? “Was I going to get any advance notice, or were you just going to show up with them on the twenty-fifth and surprise us all?” Christmas was a week away. One week.

“I was trying to think of how to tell you.”

But he hadn’t found a way yet, and I suspected he wouldn’t have beforehand. The party last night had been bad enough. To have that happen at Christmas, where both of our families were together? Every eye on me to watch how I responded? Way to win the competition. And blindside me.

I was done with this. “I have to go.”

“Damn it, I need to go too. But we’re good, right?”

Ollie was being a dick and wanted me to tell him it was fine. Not this time. “We’re divorced, Ollie. We don’t have to be good.” And I hung up.

The good mood I’d woken up in was gone. Damn Ollie. This was why you didn’t stay close to your ex, not if you didn’t have kids to connect you. I went upstairs to shower and get ready for work.

I threw myself into repairing a guitar, pushing aside thoughts of Ollie and his new romance, Dad, Remy and the sex we’d had, and the shitstorm of a Christmas coming up. I even forgot to eat, the next thing snapping me out of my work trance the growling of Beast in the doorway.

Remy looked down at the dog. “I’d knock, but Beast seems to do just as well.”

“Wait, what time is it?”

“Busy day?”

I nodded and crossed to the fridge to get water. “Want a drink?”

“I’m good.”

I swallowed half the bottle. Remy was still there. All my worries came rushing back. “How was practice? Was Ollie weird?”

He shrugged. “He didn’t seem different than usual.”

“He called this morning, and I told him we went to the event as friends so he wouldn’t freak out. And I didn’t say anything about what happened after.”

“Thanks. That’s probably why it was only the usual weird.”

It really was time for the two of us to be exes, not friends.

“I just wanted to stop by, say thanks for going with me last night, and make sure you’re okay? I felt bad about rushing off. Beast was getting kind of desperate, so…”

I’d worried that my psychoanalyzing had upset him. “I appreciate that. It’s not been a great day, but that’s not because of you. Ollie dropped a bombshell this morning and I’m ready to strangle him.”

“What did he say?” Remy’s brows lowered and the man looked good frowning.

He already knew most of my secrets at this point. “The latest is that he wants to bring Maria and her kids to Christmas.”

“You two spend the holidays together?”

That probably seemed strange. But the tradition had been in place long before Ollie and I were married.

“Our families have celebrated Christmas together for years. When we were younger, my dad was often touring and Ollie’s dad traveled sometimes, so we made our own holiday group.

On our side there’ve been wives and their families come and go over the years.

But my dad, Ollie’s, and usually the three of us—Cash, Ollie and me—spend the major holidays together when we can. ”

“Is it going to be awkward to be there with his new…date?”

“And her family. Yes, it will.”

Remy’s brow was creased. “Are you close to your dad?”

No. I’d spent my life trying to get his approval and attention, but that didn’t make us close. “Not really. He’s always been more invested in Cash’s career. Honestly, last night was the most attention I’ve gotten from him in a long time.”

“Well, not my place to tell you what to do but that seems like a pretty shitty time. What if you just…didn’t?”

At first I thought he was going to offer to be my date again, and it took a moment for my brain to work out what he really was saying. “Not go?”

“It sounds like people come and go all the time. So if it makes you uncomfortable, why not skip it?”

I wasn’t sure how to respond. I’d never considered not attending. “Would you?”

A humorless smile crossed his face. “Yeah. Kinda. Because of hockey, I don’t spend the holidays with my parents. Even when I played not too far away, it was easier not to bother planning something.”

“You don’t get along with them?”

Before he could answer, Goober slid into the workshop. Beast had been sitting, half awake, but suddenly stood at attention. Goober paused just beyond where Beast’s leash would reach, then sat and started grooming.

Remy was now inside the doorway, since Beast had tugged him forward.

“Have a seat. It’s your turn to share family issues.”

He pulled up a chair and straddled it, keeping Beast just out of Goober’s reach. “My parents were professors. I was a late surprise when they never thought they’d have children. They didn’t really know what to do with a kid who preferred skates to books.”

“They disapprove of you playing hockey? I mean, you’re in the NHL.”

He looked away. “They wanted me to go to university where they taught, but I chose to go straight to playing hockey professionally. They didn’t think that was a smart choice.

And when I was injured, they suggested it was a good time to go back to school.

Obviously I didn’t. They were probably right. ”

But he’d doubled down, choosing hockey over anything. “Why do you say that? Again, you’re playing in the NHL. The top league in the sport. You have been for how many years?”

“I thought I was going to be a superstar. Everyone was a little disappointed at how my career turned out.”

There were thousands of kids who would give anything to be where he was. But like he’d said last night, that wasn’t what he’d dreamed of when it all began. And damn if I didn’t understand him. “So you don’t see your parents?”

“Not often. We love each other but just don’t have anything in common. They’re retired and busy traveling, doing research, stuff like that. Hockey keeps me pretty busy. We never sat down and said let’s not bother each other, but it happened, and it works for us.”

It sounded like it worked for them , not necessarily Remy. Then again, who was I to judge? I spent time with my parents but they mostly ignored me. Was going through the motions worth it? Maybe not. Then what would I do instead?

“What do you do for the holidays? I know the team usually has a few days off.”

“Someone from the team, the captain or one of the married guys, has the orphans over. The guys from Europe, Russia—they can’t get home in that time frame, so there are always a few of us around.”

“And this year?”

“I’ll ask Hanny.”

An idea struck, from what we’d been discussing. “No, I think you’ll spend it with me. Bring Hanny and anyone else you want.”

Remy leaned back. “Wait, are you serious?”

I nodded. “I don’t want to spend the day on my own. And if I’ve got other plans, it won’t seem like I’m hiding away to avoid Ollie and his new girlfriend. If I was her, I’d enjoy the day more without my boyfriend’s ex around, especially when the ex has been there since day one.”

Remy tilted his head, studying me. “If you’re sure you want to do this, I’d be happy to come. I can help out. I’ve lived on my own long enough that I know my way around the kitchen.”

My heart gave a little pang. I understood why he’d rescued Beast. He was lonely.

I was too.