Page 20

Gluttony

“Would you follow me to the stars?” “I’d follow you anywhere.” “Into the frozen depths? The raging inferno?” “Yes.” “Dinner with my parents?” “Now you’re pushing it.”

Saeran was once nothing more to me than an illusion in the shadows, taunting me with the unknown. In too many ways, he still is, trapped in the dark, protecting himself with it.

He says he’s mine, and then he turns his back to me.

Not any longer.

I’ll shred every shield that he has, strip him bare, and take everything . It all belongs to me, just like he does.

“What’s in it for you?” Lust asks Saeran, distrust written all over his face. Pretty fucking rich, considering just how much he let Deacon get away with. He once said that Deacon was his to deal with; Saeran is mine. “Something made you come forward, and I highly doubt it was just to help us.”

Unfortunately, none of that’s untrue. There has to be more to it. If it were only about us, then he would have stepped into the light long before now.

Saeran’s face gives nothing away. A blank slate. I hate it, a potent anger curling around my heart and squeezing. If I touch him, make him scream for me, will he still be able to remain so passive? I don’t think so, not after how he melted earlier in my arms. My fingers itch to do just that.

“Things are in motion now,” is all Saeran says.

“And what the fuck does that even mean?” Deacon asks angrily. “Start making sense!”

Something almost like pain flickers in Saeran’s gaze. “In all your reincarnations, a Sin and their guardian have never reunited. I tried to force it a few times, manipulate events to bring you closer, and it always made your deaths worse. Immediate. You came together this time on your own, and that means something about this time is different.”

Things are in motion. Lust and Deacon finding each other changed something. But what? These half-truths that Saeran is giving us, never enough, is pissing me off. He knows what’s going on, and he needs to just fucking spit it out.

Bare answers won’t cut it.

Forcefully turning Saeran in his chair, I drag it between my knees, trapping him there. “The truth.”

“It is the truth.”

“Your version of it. You’re leaving out some important pieces, I think.” I know. A master liar. I’m not putting up with it anymore.

His eyes flash—some anger in there, which only makes desire pool in my belly—and I know I’m right. Rage swirls with the desire, like an erupting volcano inside me. No more fucking secrets.

“Everyone out.” My words are sharp, and if anyone tries to argue with me, they’ll find out my strength is as well.

Once the door is closed and it’s just the two of us, I yank Saeran off his chair and into my lap. He doesn’t fight me even though I know he’s perfectly capable of it. The blast of energy he used on me earlier wasn’t low-level magic.

“You’re the one that came to me,” I whisper huskily, lips hovering over his. “Enticed me, lured me in, used me—”

“I didn’t—”

“—and now you think you can just continue giving me nonanswers, and I’ll simply accept that and go on my merry way?”

“Gluttony, I—” He falters, lips parting on a broken exhale.

I curl a hand around his ass and pull him even closer, my dick snug against him. He can’t miss the way I’m hard for him. I want to rip his pants off and bury myself inside him, lose myself in his warmth, and fuck every inch of resistance out of him. When he’s pliant and spent in my arms, he’ll give me everything I want.

“The truth, Saeran. Now. Or you won’t like what I do next.” Our mouths brush together, and I slide my tongue over his bottom lips. “Or maybe you will. Try me.”

His hands claw at my shirt, nails digging into my chest. “No, we can’t.”

“Can’t we?” His body is all but begging me to do exactly what I want. What we both want. He’s a liar, and a threat, and I need him.

“Please.”

Asking me to stop or keep going? I slip a hand into his pants, his soft flesh warm in my palm. He whimpers and falls against me, lips finding mine, like he can’t help himself. Kissing him is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. My first, my only. He makes me feel like I’ve been under water my whole life, and now I’ve broken the surface and can breathe again. Endlessly drowning and now I’m free.

Arms twine around my neck, and Saeran lifts himself, rubbing against my dick. Fuck. Yes. Cupping his nape with a hard grip, I dive deeper, tasting. He moans, fingers sliding into my hair and hanging on.

One second I have a warm, wriggling dream in my arms, and the next, he’s halfway across the room, putting as much distance between us as he can. So quick to retreat from me.

I stand with a dark scowl, prepared to stride across the room to finish what we started.

“We can’t,” he repeats shakily, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He’s visibly trembling, one hand on the wall to keep himself upright. He wants me, I know he does. He’s hard as a fucking rock in his pants, his heart’s beating out of his chest, and the lust in the air is so thick even I can feel it. I don’t need my brother in here to work that out.

“Tell me why.” If he can’t explain this time, I’m going to tie him down and fuck him so hard he’ll feel me in his ass for eternity.

“It would kill us.”

Not what I was expecting. “Excuse me?”

“It’s—” Saeran briefly closes his eyes and then sits heavily in a nearby chair. “When a Sin and their guardian reconnect, it creates an echo, a… buildup of power, I guess? I can’t explain it. Didn’t you feel it when Deacon and Lust slept together the first time?”

“No. But I wasn’t in the country; how close do you have to be to feel it?”

“It depends. I don’t have specifics. What you have to understand is that what Lust and Deacon can create is nothing compared to what you and I would.”

I can’t deny the sense of pride that conjures.

“So what?”

Saeran bites his bottom lip, and with a resigned sigh, he says, “It would be powerful enough to be felt on the other side of the shroud. The Light would know I’m alive. And they’ll come for me.”

I fucking dare them to try. “I’m not afraid of them.”

“It’s not about being afraid. They won’t just come for me. They’ll know it’s not just me. They’ll come for those I protect, those I care about.”

“We’ll protect them.” Whoever the fuck they are. I can’t believe there’s an entire fucking flock of Fae in the city, and none of us ever felt it. That he’s been here for so long, and I didn’t notice.

“You can’t. We’ve been building our strength for centuries, and we’re still not back to where we used to be. Our population is nothing compared to what it was when we had our home. The Light destroyed us then; what do you think will happen this time?”

“We aren’t who we were then.” Not me. Not my brothers. Whatever life we had then, it’s gone. “They came for us once, remember? And we sent them running home with their tails tucked between their legs.”

“No, they were testing you. Testing your strength. Making sure you weren’t becoming more than they could handle. They didn’t run; they were finished with their experiment, and they left.”

Gritting my teeth, I sneer. The idea that they’re toying with us rubs me the wrong way. It makes me want to storm their gates and rip every single fucking one of them to pieces. They don’t scare me. Not then. Not now. They’ll pay for everything they’ve done to us. To Saeran. “If they want a war, we can give it to them.”

“Not one we can survive.”

Realization dawns. “You’re scared of them.”

“Of course, I am!” Saeran bursts out, voice elevating. He rises from the chair, hands curled into fists. “You may not remember, but I was there when they tore my family apart. When they slaughtered my entire court and left those few of us remaining running for our lives. They destroyed everything that I care about. I watched you die. Daithi. Lust. All of you. One by one, they cut you down, and if I hadn’t run, they would have killed me too. I’m the last one left, and I’ve been alone with that for what feels like forever.” He licks his lips, and I don’t miss the way they’re trembling. “I relive that nightmare every day, and the idea that they could sweep through and do it all over again… I can’t, Gluttony. I can’t . I will do everything I can do stop that from happening again.”

“Including dying?”

He lifts his chin defiantly. “Yes.”

“No.” There’s no fucking way. “I’ll kill all of them if I have to, but they won’t ever hurt you again.”

“You can’t guarantee that.”

“Yes, I can.” Anyone tries to take him from me, and I’ll make sure they regret it for the rest of their short life. “Tell me how to fix it.”

“You can’t.”

“You’re lying. You think I can’t tell? You’re very good at it, but I know you.” I don’t know how I can read him so well. Lingering pieces of the past? Memories that are still there, just not accessible. Searching his face, trying so hard to hide from me. “Tell me.”

“It requires… feeding,” he says hesitantly.

“Explain that to me.” Food? Something else? Fucking what ? Getting answers from him is like pulling teeth.

“Just as a Sin needs their connection to their sin, Fae like me need ours too.”

“Like you? The Seven brothers.”

Saeran nods and goes silent. The dots begin to connect.

“And their guardians .” Mother fucker. “You need me. Your wings. That’s why they came back to life when I got you off.” When I take a step closer to him, he takes one away from me. Keeping that fucking distance that makes me want to tie him to me so he can never put it between us again. “Is that what you mean?” This time when I take a step, he has nowhere to go, backing himself into a corner. “We fuck, and you’re cured?”

“You don’t have to say it like that,” Saeran says weakly. “It’s more complicated than that reduces it to. It’s how we connect.”

“That’s the answer, though, isn’t it?” He can shy away from it if he wants, but I know what he’s saying.

“It’s… yes,” he admits.

I can’t say that doesn’t please me. I can save him, and all I have to do is sleep with him. I would have done it anyway. Already planned to get him into my bed again, with both of us naked. “Well, what are we waiting for?”

“We’re not having sex.” Saeran’s mouth flattens, determined. “You knowing doesn’t change my mind. I won’t be the one that invites the Light to come and kill us, no matter how much I want you. I don’t know how much their power has grown since we were torn from our home. They’ve had no opposition for centuries. Whatever force drove them last time will be more powerful now. None of us stand a chance if they cross over. Not if they know I’m alive. It’s not worth the risk.”

“Yes, it is.” He is. They can rebuild again. I don’t care. My brothers and I are ready for whatever they throw at us. With the weapons we created through Sloth, we’ll wipe them out completely if they come for us. They aren’t as invulnerable as they think. “Time for you to learn how to trust, Saeran.”

His fingers curl against the wall. “You asked me to tell you the truth, and I did. Just because you don’t like what that truth is, doesn’t mean that you can ignore it like it doesn’t matter. I need you to respect that this is what I want. Just let me look at you, see you, until I die. Once I’m gone, I need you to protect those I leave behind.”

“No.”

“Please, promise me.”

The words get stuck in my throat. I may not have the memories that he does, the scars that he holds, wounds he’s never healed from, but I have him now. And he’s not fucking going anywhere. “Fine,” I bite out, knowing there’s no way in hell that I’ll allow it. If sleeping with him is what will save his life, then he has to know I’ll have him under me well before he dies. “That’s not all you want, though, is it? Lust is right; you came back to us for a reason.” It’s not only about us. If he wants something, I’ll help him get it.

Saeran lets out a breath, visibly swallows, and then says, “We want to take back our home.”

“You just said you aren’t strong enough to take on the Light,” I say with a snort. “What makes you think you can ever fight them on their own soil?” We might have been tempted a few times because their self-righteous bullshit is fucking annoying, but even we haven’t actually tried it. We almost followed them the last time they were here, to finish them off. We should have. Would Saeran have come to me sooner, then?

“With the revitalized strength of the Sins and their guardians, we could have a chance.”

He doesn’t sound certain. “You don’t have the time to wait for them to all find each other,” I surmise. Not enough time for him. Lust and Deacon are just the start. And it took them long enough.

Saeran wordlessly shakes his head.

“It still doesn’t make any sense. We fought them once before, right? When all fourteen of us were connected. And we all died. What makes you think this time would be different?” I know why, and I have confidence in us that he doesn’t. If he works through it, he can see, and then he can stop this martyr bullshit.

Saeran bites his bottom lip. “There are Fae here that have never seen our homeland. That have never experienced the cities in the trees, the vast forests, the feel of the power we take from the earth, the smell of our flowers. Have never walked the road of flames. They’ve never had connection to the land and been one with the air itself. I’ll make sure that with my dying breathe, they’ll get back what they lost when I failed them.”

“Is that what you think? That you failed them?”

“I was their king, and I take full responsibility for what happened.”

I doubt that’s all he takes responsibility for.

“So that’s your plan? Be matchmaker, and then wage war against the very Fae that drove you from your home in the first place?” A war on that scale won’t be pretty. “You can’t avoid casualties. Not to mention, what’s your plan for avoiding what happened last time?”

“We’ll be more prepared this time. We just need more time to build. Between that and the weapons you have? It will be enough. In time.”

Well, well. “Aren’t you clever.”

“I see right through your illusions.”

So he’s said. “And that’s your plan? Reunite everyone like a good Samaritan, die, and then leave everyone else to clean up the mess you create?”

Saeran scowls. “That’s not fair.”

I cross my arms over my chest and lean my hip against the side of my table. “No, it sounds like your bullshit plan, actually. I have a better one.” One that doesn’t involve meaningless sacrifices.

He already knows what I’m going to say, what I’m thinking. “We’re not ready.”

“Sure we are.” The Light come through the shroud, and I’ll be more than happy to shove my fist down their throats and choke them. None of us will have a problem killing every last one of them. Not even before we had a personal stake in it. No love lost there.

But now? Now it’s fucking personal.

“My people aren’t ,” Saeran insists. “There are families, children. We need to be stronger.”

I tip Saeran’s chin up with a finger underneath. “You’re stalling, darling. When do you think you’ll be ready? I think the answer is never. You want your home back, but the fear is choking you.”

Saeran yanks his head to the side, away from my touch. “That’s not—” He cuts off when I grip his chin hard, forcing him to look back at me. I won’t have him turn from me.

“When you face them again, you’ll defeat them. I’ll be right beside you, and so will my brothers. The past won’t repeat itself. Trust, and let go, Saeran. Let me in, properly.”

He doesn’t fight me when I cover his mouth with mine.