Page 334 of Gladiators of the Vagabond Boxset

Jakar

We were only a day out from Rakex, and I hadn’t had a single chance yet to speak with Meena.

I’d watched her every chance I got, until Camila had stormed into the hydroponics bay last night and given me a tongue-lashing about that.

Apparently, that was called being a ‘stalker,’ and I wasn’t supposed to do that; I could be scaring her.

I didn’t think Meena was scared of me. She’d found the flowering plant I’d left in a pot in front of her door the morning after she got her translator implants.

I was certain she knew I was the one who had left it there, because she’d turned to look at the door of the hydroponic bay with a thoughtful look on her face.

Then she’d taken the plant into her room; she’d accepted my gift.

She hadn’t once glanced in my direction, hiding around the corner at the other end of the hallway.

For three days, I’d been leaving her little gifts at her door, but that was the only interaction we’d had.

I knew this meant I hadn’t convinced her to stay on the ship, so now I was headed for Ziame’s office, just off the bridge.

I had to tell him about my decision to stay on Rakex with the rest of the refugees.

My palms were a little sweaty with nerves, and my stomach was in knots.

I didn’t want to leave my friends, but this was the right choice.

Maybe once Meena was ready for a relationship, I could change her mind and we could return to the Vagabond.

No matter what, I would go where she would be happiest.

Abby was in his office with him. She sat at the desk, waving her fingers across a screen and talking numbers, something about our current stock of supplies, though the specifics went right over my head.

I was good with my hands and had taken well to learning a lot of the technology we regularly used.

Under Da’vi’s tutelage, I’d even learned to do a lot of repair work, but numbers? I was just no good at those.

“Oh, hey, Jakar, what can we help you with?” Abby asked when I knocked on the doorframe to announce my presence. I froze when two pairs of eyes settled on me. Oh boy, I hated this. The Vagabond was the only place I felt at home on…

“It’s, uh…” I paused as I watched the mated pair.

Ziame was hovering over Abby, his big body caging her into the chair, his long, agile tail tucked into the crook of her elbow.

Always touching, always close, if they were in the same room together.

I really wanted that for myself. Abigail was independent and strong, but she let her mate hover over her whenever he wanted to because she knew that was what Ziame needed.

“I wanted to let you guys know that I wish to stay behind on Rakex with the refugees,” I said firmly. I crossed my upper arms over my chest, perched my lower hands on my hips, and tried to look confident about my decision, even if it made me feel like I was splitting myself in two.

Abigail pressed her hand to her mouth, her eyes sparkling at me.

She didn’t think I was serious, or maybe she thought it was funny.

Every single one of my brothers and their mates seemed to know that my mating instincts had connected with Meena, that she was my one.

I’d overheard Thorin trying to goad Fierce into betting with him on when I’d finally win her over.

I didn’t think Abby would approve of that kind of betting.

The Captain had a much more serious response, so I chose to focus on him; that was easier.

The Lacerten male crossed his arms over his chest to mirror my posture.

His tail lifted to jab in my direction. “I see. Is that what you really want?” he said calmly, his deep voice rumbling so deeply that I felt it in my stomach.

No, of course it wasn’t. I wanted to stay on the Vagabond and have Meena stay with me.

But we hadn’t even had a single conversation.

Instead, she avoided me, and everyone else kept telling me to stay away or leave her alone.

I knew she was hurt. I wanted to help her, but how could I when no one would even let me talk to her? So, this was my only option.

“What I want, I can’t have,” I said, hoping my frustration wasn’t burning too brightly in the spots across my face.

“So this is the compromise I have to make for now.” There, that sounded calm and confident, as if I actually knew what I was talking about.

I was good at many practical things, which made me confident I’d find work on Rakex; I’d just have to make sure it was work that would allow me to see Meena.

I was so certain that once she got to talking with me—really talking—she’d feel the connection between us just like I did.

Ziame pulled his blunt snout into a disapproving look, and I felt that look hit me hard.

“You can’t stay on Rakex, Jakar. It’s not a good idea.

” Anger surged through me, tinting my spots red, but I bit my tongue before I replied.

Ziame was an excellent captain. He must have a reason for saying no. Did he need me for something else?

“Why not?” I demanded, still sounding angry, but at least Ziame didn’t seem to mind that.

He wasn’t responding with aggression of his own.

Instead, he came around the desk, palms open at his sides in what was obviously an attempt to keep me calm.

His green eyes were sympathetic, and his mobile ears were drooping down and back a little.

“Because it would make the refugees feel uncomfortable, especially the women. Besides, your home is here, on the Vagabond. We will come back again in a few months, keep in contact. You’ll have your chance then.

She needs to heal first.” Ziame kept talking, but my brain stopped listening and a buzzing started up in my head.

Months? Leave her unprotected for months? I couldn’t possibly do that…

There it was again. They thought I was being detrimental to her well-being by being around her.

How could that possibly be true, when I was her mate?

How could they know what she needed? Had they asked her?

She was collecting my daily little gifts, wasn’t she?

Had she said something to Abby or Ziame about it?

Abigail was standing next to me now, too, her hand landing gently on one of my wrists, patting me.

Her eyes were full of sympathy as she tried to explain it to me, but I’d heard all of these explanations over and over already.

I didn’t need to hear them again. I was one of the youngest males on the ship, so I had to accept that they knew what they were talking about, since they were all saying it.

Turning around without a word, I marched from the office so I could retreat. Months? I had to wait months while she was alone on Rakex? It went against all my instincts to let that happen, yet somehow I must.

*

Meena

There was no gift this morning, the morning of the day we’d be arriving on Rakex. Most of the other humans looked forward to arriving, to being outside again. Not me. And the lack of a gift made me incredibly sad, even though I’d scoffed each morning when I found one. Why no gift today?

I looked back into my small room to eye the cheerful plant blooming in its terracotta pot next to my bed.

I’d also collected a pretty necklace made of hand-carved wooden beads, a matching bracelet, and a little notebook with actual paper and a pen.

That last gift had turned up the morning after I’d complained to someone—a little jokingly—that it seemed so strange to me not to have any paper at hand.

That meant he’d been listening in, and that was hella creepy since I hadn’t even noticed, but it was kind of thoughtful, too.

When I packed up my meager belongings that afternoon, I found myself carefully tucking every single gift into my bag, even the potted plant.

I tried to tell myself it was because I had so little to begin with; it would seem weird to leave even the tiniest thing behind.

That’s why I still wore that stolen coat, too, because it was now mine, and it made me stand out from the others who had even less.

I stood in the doorway to my room for a long minute, staring at the space.

It was harder to leave it behind than I had thought it would be, but this was the right choice.

On Rakex, I could focus on healing without Big Red spying on me.

The whole deal there sounded much too good to be true, but I’d take care of myself.

I knew who I could rely on down on the planet: me. I already had a plan.

“Hello,” a voice suddenly said, and I screamed, nearly dropping my bag with the precious potted plant.

Akri was standing behind me in the center of the hallway, his hands open at his sides, his legs braced for balance.

The two long head tentacles were still twitching and writhing along his shoulders, but he seemed much more in control today.

He was also no longer in those simple pajamas, but wearing a gray jumpsuit with an insignia on his breast pocket: a fist posed over a heart.

I had this nagging feeling I’d seen the symbol before; I just couldn’t remember where.

“Akri, you’re standing on your own!” I said, smiling warmly at him.

He must have been making progress over the past few days while I hadn’t seen him around.

He nodded, his weird eyes steady on my face.

With him, I got the impression that he was trying his best to study every part of my expressions so he could understand them better.

It didn’t feel personal or like there was any kind of attraction to it, just curiosity.

“Affirmative. Jakar has been helping me practice,” he said, nodding his head up and down in an exaggerated motion.

Jakar again, seemed his crewmates felt the urge to continuously sing his praises around me.

I was starting to think that I’d judged him harshly at our first meeting.

I just couldn’t get the image of Katja flirting with him out of my head, nor the attention he’d given her when she did that.

Hina had explained his colored spots to me, but for the life of me, I couldn’t remember what color they’d been during our first meeting.

“That’s good. I’m happy for you,” I told Akri.

Slinging the strap of my bag over my shoulder, I tucked it and the plant safely under my arm.

I needed to get going; the refugees were all supposed to gather at the airlock.

We’d landed an hour ago, and soon we’d be brought to our new housing.

I hoped that I’d have a room to myself again there, but nobody had told me anything yet, so I wasn’t sure.

The strange alien followed me when I turned to walk down the hallway.

He wasn’t fast yet, but he was walking without needing the support of the wall, definitely an improvement.

“Wait, I have a question, Meena,” Akri said, and I paused curiously, waiting for him to catch up to me again.

I no longer felt the constant need to hold my knife in my hand when I talked to any man, but it was in the side pocket of my bag, pressing against my leg.

When he’d caught up to me after a few steps, he nodded once in thanks.

“May I please know why you have rejected Jakar’s advances?

What makes you think he is a bad mate?” My mouth dropped open in surprise at the question.

Seriously? This is what he wanted to know?

Wasn’t it obvious? I didn’t need to deal with a player right now, with a flirt like him.

I was done with men, all of them. So even if he wasn’t a total flirt who leaped at anything female with a pulse, I wasn’t interested.

He was a creep who spied on me and left me stupid gifts.

They burned in my bag, belying my words.

“I… he…” I started to speak angrily, but the words dried on my tongue. I couldn’t actually say them, because I knew they weren’t really true. That was the trauma speaking. “I’ve been through too much. I’m the one who’s no good, Akri.” And with that, I spun around and jogged away.