Page 281 of Gladiators of the Vagabond Boxset

Arianna

I’d slept like a log for at least nine hours in my private little quarters.

I tried to pretend that I didn’t miss the feeling of Da’vi’s body next to mine, but it was hard when I woke up and was actually cold—like my body had gotten used to sleeping next to a furnace, and now it struggled to readjust.

Getting dressed in one of the four jumpsuits that had been altered to fit me, I shrugged on a colorful sweater I’d made with yarn—yellow, orange, and red, like a sunset.

I hadn’t worn it yet, mostly because I’d wanted to save it for Da’vi.

Except I was planning on avoiding him today, and I needed the pick-me-up.

When I made an appearance in the mess hall, Tori, with her baby on her hip, piled my plate high with foreign food that somehow smelled familiar.

There was even something that smelled suspiciously like bacon, only it looked very green.

I hoped it tasted better than it looked.

I paused when I looked at the tables for a seat.

Da’vi wasn’t there—just like I’d expected—but most others were.

It was loud, crowded, and, seriously, most of the gladiators just took up far too much space.

“Here, sit with me,” Camila said, popping up at my side so suddenly that I nearly dropped my plate.

With lightning reflexes, she caught it, righting it before my not-quite-bacon could slide right off.

“It’s a bit much for most when they first get here.

Come on, Abigail and I want to talk to you anyway. ”

I didn’t like the sound of that, but I followed the woman.

She had an impressively long braid of thick black hair that dangled down her back, swishing back and forth with every step she took.

It made me nervous, like it was the agitated twitching of a cat’s tail.

Were they going to talk to me again about Da’vi?

I knew I’d messed up. I’d let him in—he cared—and when I inevitably screwed up, he was going to be hurt.

This time around, I was going to be hurt too.

That had never happened before. How had I failed to protect my heart?

How could I have failed to tell Da’vi the rules?

When I sat down between Camila and Abigail, I felt like I was about to get scolded. Abigail, however, slung an arm around my shoulder and hugged me tightly. “You look rough, girl. Did Da’vi hurt you? Should I send Camila down to the engine room to scold him?”

Startled, I met her eyes, then those of Camila, and saw warm, sympathetic expressions on both their faces.

This wasn’t a scolding—it wasn’t them calling me out on my faults.

They were being… nice. I wasn’t sure how to respond.

What could I say to explain how I felt? I’d never been this confused—this messed up inside—about a guy before.

I couldn’t stop thinking of him, of being near him, of hearing that deep voice, even when it was just grunts while he listened to me prattle.

I still felt like I should run so I couldn’t mess this up even more, but that also felt like the coward’s way out. I’d run all my life.

“No, that’s okay. It’s not him,” I said, shuffling the food on my plate around just so I had something to focus on.

“I’m just a little confused. I’m not good at relationships.

I’m going to mess this up…” I tried to ignore the fact that, the last time, I’d told them all I wanted was to teach Da’vi how to have fun.

Now I knew that he knew exactly how to do that, he had no issue with having fun.

My lady bits tingled at just the thought of it.

“Yeah, we figured that out,” Camila said brusquely, then stuffed her mouth with a green strip of the not-quite-bacon.

Chewing, she tilted her head, studying my face while I tried hard not to look surprised—and sad—that they knew.

Always the failure, that was me. Couldn’t finish school, couldn’t keep a job or stay in one place.

Couldn’t get anyone to love me, and I couldn’t love anyone.

“What you need,” Abigail said, her arm still around my shoulders, “is a guy like Da’vi to show you how.

Teach you the stuff beyond the fun.” She waggled her eyebrows while throwing my own words back at me.

They were saying I should let the roles reverse, that I should be open to what he had to say.

I’d protected my heart for so long that I wasn’t sure I could.

“He’s going to realize that you’re running scared right now,” Camila said, pointing a finger at my chest. I felt the words like an accusation, like they were reading my damn mind. I was running scared, but I’d been doing that for so long, how could I change now?

My impulsive brain was telling me that if I didn’t run when I could, I’d end up hurt.

When Da’vi realized what a mess I was inside, he wasn’t going to want me.

What if he started saying things like my brother, my father?

I would crumble completely if he did. I wouldn’t get back up again, not like I’d done with my family.

That would be the final straw. I knew it.

Rationally, I knew that Da’vi would never say things like my family had.

He’d been furious to hear that they didn’t like me, that they thought I was unworthy.

Da’vi was a protector, a nurturer, even if he did do it mostly with grunts and growls.

Everything about him was caring and kind.

I should have faith in him, but letting go of my fears was proving to be hard. Really hard.

“All we’re saying is, listen to him when he comes for you, give him a chance. I don’t think you’ll regret it,” Abigail said. Her hand, squeezing my shoulder, made me feel like she was on my side; she made me want to believe her.

I nodded, though my thoughts were spinning, my father and brother talking over one another in my head, telling me that no guy would even want to chase me. “If he comes after me, I will give it a shot,” I said.

It looked to me like Camila had something to say about that, but she closed her mouth at the sound of a rumbling growl.

Then Babbit leaped onto the table in front of us, his long, slinky body fluffed out in his thick pelt.

His black-and-blue-striped face looked perpetually grumpy—extremely fitting for Da’vi’s pet.

My eyes darted from Babbit to scan the rest of the mess hall, pausing on the open doorway, but there was no sign of my grumpy mechanic. I wasn’t quite sure whether I felt relieved or sad about that, though I knew I missed him.

I looked down at the Riho and was just in time to see that he was gobbling the green pieces from my plate like they were a delicacy. Camila had crossed a hand over her mouth and was laughing, while Abigail was trying to shoo him away; Babbit was completely undeterred by her efforts.

“It’s okay, he can have it. I’m not that hungry anyway,” I said.

The animal let me scratch him behind his tufted, pointed ears, a low purr rumbling from his chest that sounded like the engine of a train.

It made me miss Da’vi even more. With his deep voice and sub-harmonic tones, there was nothing quite like hearing him talk dirty to me in that voice, except maybe when he whispered sweet nothings in my ear during the post-sex cuddles.

“What are you doing here, Babbit?” Camila asked.

“Not looking for food? Oh boy, did Da’vi forget to eat again?

” I felt an immediate pang of worry at her words.

Did he forget to eat often? Why would he do that?

He was always working so hard, was that it?

This was my fault again, I was pretty sure.

He’d been working non-stop from the moment he’d heard my distress call.

“No, Eoin is working with him, so Tori made sure they had breakfast,” Abigail said.

“I’m pretty sure he’s here to get something else.

” Her eyes went from Babbit to me, and she smirked knowingly.

“See, even Da’vi’s pet knows what’s up. Best get with the program here, girl.

” Her words filled me with a rush of emotion, but I still couldn’t quite make that first step.

I’d wait for him to come after me, just like they predicted he would.

With Babbit purring, stepping into my lap, and rubbing himself against my chest, I tried to find some normal, positive thoughts—to say my mantras and get out of this stupid funk. Da’vi had said it: I shouldn’t let my now dead family rule my life. I had to let it go.

When there was an announcement over the ship’s com, I picked up the animal and followed the girls to the nearest jumpseats.

Da’vi had done it, the engines were fixed.

We were on our way to the Yengar Space Station.

This first FTL jump was a test, but I knew he’d done it.

This was going to work. If there was one thing I had faith in, it was that.

*

Da’vi

I hadn’t seen Arianna in two weeks, and Babbit kept disappearing too.

He didn’t even sleep with me at night, going off somewhere else.

I felt like I’d been abandoned, and I wasn’t sure how to fix it.

The engine room was no longer my haven, it was too quiet.

My thoughts were distracted, filled with the sound of her voice and the taste of her skin.

I wanted my girl, but she was avoiding me.

If not for how busy the engine kept me—with constant tweaks, more fixes, and dangerous readings I had to keep an eye on—I would have gone and tracked her down.

There was somehow always something important that needed my attention.

If I even had time to sleep, it was just to stumble to my quarters and crash for a few hours, until the next alarm woke me.