Page 28 of Gifted Destiny (Hidden Libraries #3)
Zosia
K odi might have found the cause of my unease, but I don’t know what to do with it. My worry grows with every second that Sage remains unresponsive and the goblins remain absent. I feel lost … and helpless. It seems that no matter how much I learn or how much we struggle, that feeling insists on returning.
I may not be alone now, but my mates appear similarly bewildered. “Any ideas?” Although I don’t single him out, I look at Bren. He’s the mage and the most difficult to read.
“I think …,” Bren pauses with a grimace. “No, I know that the spell would have killed Kodi if he wasn’t dead already.”
My feathers ruffle, and every strand of fur on my body reacts and rises on end. It’s a shocking sensation, but it’s no worse than the words I just heard. It takes me a minute to find my voice. “What if Kodi hadn’t been the one to find it …?”
Bren meets my gaze with one that is apologetic but unyielding. “Any of us would have died. I think it was meant to kill one of us. Removing a guardian places a heavy strain on the librarian and makes the library more vulnerable.”
I have difficulty filling my lungs at the blatant threat. Avery rushes to my other side and strokes my back while I lean harder into Garrett. He’s built like a tree, and his support might be the only thing keeping me on my feet. Yesterday, I would have felt uncomfortable leaning my head against his hip. Today is different.
Bren’s words understate the severity. I couldn’t handle losing any one of them or their death on my conscience after Kodi. They might be guardians and protectors, but I am also responsible for their lives while they’re in the library.
“Someone has turned a book into a weapon.” The irony and horror that accompanies this realization force a bitter laugh from me. The library is meant to be a sanctuary and books are my safe escapes. This single act feels like a desecration of something sacred.
“I want to know how it got here or whether it has been here all alone and recently activated. If so, who activated it? Has the spell been triggered? Is it safe to touch the thing now? How do we destroy it? If there is a soul in there, who does it belong to? If we destroy the book, will it destroy the soul?” The questions tumble from my lips as my brain begins to churn. The area is too narrow to pace, so my tail thumps the floor after every question.
“Hold your horses, princess.”
“I don’t have any horses.” My response is automatic; we’ve had similar exchanges numerous times over the years. When my brain begins to short-circuit, he interrupts it with a single phrase. Most of the time, we’d devolve into a conversation regarding archaic clichés that have stuck around for no apparent reason other than absent repetition. I don’t have the time or energy to be distracted by a linguistic discussion right now, but his command forces me to pause and breathe.
“This is what I sensed but finding it hasn’t solved the problem. Sage’s absence is proof of that.” I’m accustomed to thinking aloud, but not with a rapt audience. The men’s attention is disconcerting. “There’s still something coming. I’ve felt this ominous foreshadowing since we opened.”
“Something coming, you say?” Kodi’s sly tone is immediately halted by Garrett’s glare.
“Focus, ghost. You can’t die again, but we can.”
The reminder sobers Kodi. His expression falls, and his spirit seems to follow. His boots descend toward the floor as if Garrett’s words are bricks placed directly on his shoulders. Thankfully, he’s no longer hovering directly over the malevolent volume of military tactics.
The shifter’s emotions twinge with regret, but I leave them to sort their own feelings. I need to focus on the life-and-death situation before us.
I close my eyes to prevent any distractions and access the repository in my mind. “I may not have the false book’s record, but I have records of the books around it,” I murmur.
My cat ears twitch as if responding to the inaudible voices of the books. They react instinctually and I’m more aware of them than my human ears. The ears also have a purpose, unlike my tail. I still haven’t gotten used to its random movements. The strange appendage sweeps the floor while I think aloud. My mates are intelligent and more magically educated. They might hear something that I miss.
“The object Kodi found is not a book at all,” I realize as I send my senses further. “It was specifically designed to store the spell and the soul, not information. These two pages are the only ones with text on them, and the book won’t open to any other page. They don’t exist.”
This kernel of knowledge offers more solace than it should. If it isn’t a book, I haven’t been betrayed by my beloved stories. The texts surrounding me represent individual worlds waiting to be discovered. A more accurate name for the object on the ground would be a box.
Because it isn’t a book and doesn’t belong in the library, I contemplate removing it. My instincts immediately rebel, although I can’t determine whether it’s a lingering trick of the spell. Sage and the goblins have instructed me to trust my instincts, though, so I will.
“Can you tell whether the spell is spent? The dangerous one?” I direct my question toward Bren.
“I can’t tell,” Bren says with a note of frustrated regret. “It’s a different kind of magic than I’m used to.”
“If Sage can’t help, can another mage? Can we call Tremayne and ask him for advice?” The library has never indicated that we have to be an island; we just have to be judicious about who we trust. The old mage has already proved his trustworthiness.
“He might know,” Avery confirms. “The spell appears to involve energy of some sort.”
When no one else opposes the idea, I lift my head to look at my shifter mate. “Garrett, can you call Tremayne on the magic telegraph/telephone thingy?” The proper name of the academy’s complicated interoffice messaging apparatus still eludes me. Garrett’s lips twitch despite the gravity of the situation. “He can’t enter the library right now, but tell him the situation and ask him if he has any advice.”
“I’ll go, but no one can touch that thing while I’m gone.” Despite his overbearing tone, we all nod without thought. No one actually wants to touch it.
When he turns to race downstairs, I almost call after him and tell him to shift. My lips close again when I remember I’m the only shifter that retains their human voice after transformation. Tremayne wouldn’t understand Garrett if he squawked into the device.
Considering my mate’s strengths, I turn to the vampire. “Avery, is there anything else you can tell us about the soul or its intentions?”
Avery’s shapely lips turn downward as his eyes narrow on the object. “I’m finding it difficult to separate the soul from the malevolent spell that trapped it. I’ve rarely sensed an enchantment this strong and inherently malicious. I mentioned the soul’s similarity to Kodi, but there’s more. I sense a touch of something … familiar.”
The disquiet in his tone makes my wings ruffle again. My body naturally leaned toward his after I lost Garrett’s support, and he continues to stroke the fur between my wings.
The vampire is the one that displays the most physical affection, and it leads me to question what each of my guardian’s primary love languages might be. Although it might be gimmicky, it’s backed by useful science.
And … I’m off track again. A psychiatrist might diagnose all of us with attention deficit issues, except for Avery and possibly Garrett. Still, three out of five is a majority.
“What’s going on in there? You’re suddenly all tangled up.”
The ghost is lucky I love him because he never fails to call me out. I consider not answering, but he’s too stubborn to let it drop. “You know my stupid brain – distracted again. We have a potentially dangerous situation, and it decided to contemplate love languages. Then, I began thinking about attention deficit disorders and wondering if any of us would qualify.” My shrug translates into a rustle of feathers.
Bren’s soft smile warms me from the inside out. “Your brain is beautiful, little lioness, but those are just labels – not disorders. Labels like that one were created when humans realized they’d built a society for a specific personality. That person thrives in a capitalist environment, doesn’t require creative work, and doesn’t reject hierarchies of authority. The creation of diagnoses and disorders, in addition to marketing treatments and medications, was preferable to admitting that all human brains, magicless and supernatural, operate differently.”
“Furthermore, the label you mentioned is wildly incorrect. People like you and me don’t suffer from a deficit of attention. We are pros at multitasking and focusing. We just can’t spend hours, days, or years performing very specific tasks that only benefit our superiors and offer no personal enjoyment.”
I am not the only one who stares at the mage with awe. Kodi’s jaw hangs open, and I imagine a metaphorical light bulb turning on in his brain. He might have a case of hero worship where Bren is concerned. I don’t blame him; he never ceases to amaze me. Avery’s emotions are a mix of tender appreciation and delight.
“Affirmations, by the way,” Bren continues. He’s either oblivious to our collective appreciation or choosing to ignore it. “That’s my primary love language. It’s common among adults who experience childhood trauma because they didn’t receive enough reassurance as they matured.”
Kodi barks with laughter. “Your brain is similar to Zo’s. You’re both crazy.”
Bren’s shrug indicates that this particular label doesn’t bother him either. I smile at him in agreement. “Crazy loves company, which is why I love all of you.” The escaped words echo in my ears with more gravity than I gave them. I just told three men that I loved them at the same time . I clear my throat nervously. “What I mean is that you’re all perfect for me because you understand.”
“And you are perfect for us,” Garrett drawls as he appears behind me.
I jump with surprise. When did he come back? Did he hear what I said? Also, did he just say us ? What happened to the jealousy he’s been holding onto since I met him?
My brain is still attempting to process when he leans over and presses a quick kiss to my lips.
“Dude, you just kissed a cat.”
Garrett stands with a heavy sigh and glares at my incorporeal mate. I’d assumed he disliked Kodi before I bonded with him. He just dislikes the ghost’s lapses of immaturity. I can’t blame him.
“And you are dead. When Zosia kisses you, is she kissing a corpse?”
“Holy shit,” Kodi breathes with wide eyes.
“I know we just discussed our tendency for distraction, but let’s not get sidetracked by bestiality and necrophilia. In fact, let’s not mention those subjects ever again. We’re magical. Those concepts don’t apply to this situation.” I pause deliberately before switching the subject. “Garrett, how did the call go?”
The shifter’s composure switches to serious. “Tremayne agrees that the false book is a trap and that we shouldn’t touch it. A magical means of destruction is the best course. As for the soul, he’s uncertain. He thinks that the library and our lives should hold priority if there is a choice to be made.”
I nod absently, staring at the book and wishing I had more information. “Agreed.”
“There’s something else,” Garrett says in a near growl that makes me shiver with dread. My head swivels toward him. “Addington is on campus. He’s with Walthers.”
My vision blurs as I contact the gargoyle captain. Etienne confirms that they are aware of the situation and on high alert, but nothing of note has occurred. He offers a hesitant no when I ask him whether he’s spoken with Sage.
“What if one of the goblins is trapped inside the book?” Kodi asks with horrified sincerity when I relay the information. “She wouldn’t destroy it if that was the case, right?”
Avery’s headshake is immediate. “The energy I sense is different than the goblins’ energy. The goblins aren’t … like us.”
I’ve rarely seen the vampire struggle for words, but I understand his consternation. I’ve noticed it and I can’t describe it either.
“I don’t believe they live and die like us, so it wouldn’t bear the scent of death. I cannot determine whether the soul died before or after it was trapped. As you all know, souls aren’t meant to be contained.” The vampire’s eerie gaze settles on Kodi. It takes me a second to realize he means the tether and not the ghostly form.
“When a soul’s trajectory is altered from the norm, it starts to undergo unnatural changes. This soul’s resemblance to its original self will depend on how long it has been ensnared.” Avery’s emotions suggest a rare dip in self-esteem. “All of this is theoretical, of course. I’m not an expert by any means.”
I nudge his hip with my head. “It’s more than any of us have,” I reassure him. The others nod in agreement. “I have a proposal. Right now, the stupid thing isn’t hurting us – as far as we know. Let’s delay a decision on its fate while we research what it might be. The arcane books on the tenth floor might provide us with more information about how to destroy the thing or free the soul. Does anyone object?” I’m not comfortable being an authoritative leader. My men are equally – sometimes more – capable than I am.
“I agree with you if we add two amendments. It should be guarded continuously, and we should set a deadline. Without one, it might sit here for a long time, and we have no idea what might happen now that it’s open. The soul or another soul could escape. We should also determine whether any other magic was triggered alongside it.” Garrett’s intentions aren’t to scold Kodi, but my ghost mate still pouts.
“I mean no offense, ghost. You saved all of us by finding it,” Garrett adds gruffly. My tail curls around the shifter’s ankle in appreciation – completely on its own.
“Garrett has a point, Kodi. If it were anyone else ….” I can’t finish that sentence. “Thank you.”
Kodi brightens noticeably. Now that their sensitive egos have been soothed, we agree upon a schedule of protective duty and other tasks. The men listen to each other and me with respect. They haven’t said they love me, but they trust me, which feels equally important. Love can be na?ve, but trust usually isn’t.
My heart swells with gratitude, and I’m no longer ashamed of my verbal slip. I hadn’t lied. I love them and I trust them. I want to relay my feelings in a more sincere manner, but we are living in crisis mode. There’s little time for sincerity.
The past week or so has proved that we are capable of managing stressful situations together, but I want more time to relax and enjoy them. If we can’t address the current situation, however, we’ll never get the chance.