Page 44 of Gabe (Blue Team #2)

“She’s not and I’m gonna explain why, Evette.

You see that man lying there? He’s one of mine.

Before he was yours he was mine . You get what I’m saying to you?

My only obligation and loyalty is to him, to my team, and to the women they’ve brought into the fold.

That now includes you. Gabe isn’t available to make decisions right now, which means I make them.

All of them concerning your safety are for me to make.

Delilah Watts is not your business. Right now, I need you to trust me.

Trust that I have your back. I have Gabe’s and I have the situation under control. ”

I sucked in my breath and held it. Then I thought about what Gabe told me about Zane.

But under all the bullshit is a man who cares deeply. He feels the weight of his decisions and takes them personally and seriously.

And the man standing in front of me felt the weight of his decisions. Therefore, I decided to trust him, though I didn’t like what that meant for Delilah.

“I don’t like it,” I muttered. “I feel like turning my back on her is the wrong thing to do. But I’ll trust you. ”

Zane took a step toward me, placed his big hand on my shoulder, and gave it a squeeze.

“I’m not turning my back on her. But for you, it’s done. You concentrate on letting go of what’s eating away at you and you let me handle the rest.”

That was a relief. I knew one thing about Zane; if he said he was going to do something he did it.

“I’m fine.”

“You’re not. You’re the opposite of fine. You need—”

Not this shit again .

I stepped back and jerked my shoulder free.

“You’re right. I’m not fine. I’m pissed that everyone keeps pushing me. I just want Gabe to wake up.”

“He will.”

“Yeah? When? And when he does, what then? What if the swelling in his brain has lasting effects? What if his vision is impaired? What if he wakes up and wants not one thing to do with me? What if he…”

Overwhelming fear had taken over all rational thought. All I could think about was what would happen if Gabe opened his eyes and kicked me out. What if he didn’t love me after what happened? What if he realized I wasn’t worth it?

“That’s a fun game, let's play it,” Zane snickered.

“What if he wakes up and he has a TBI, does that mean you’re gone?

What if he’s blind in one eye or both, are you going to leave him?

What if his hearing is fucked due to repeated blows to the ear, are you going back to Riverton to live your life and forget Gabe Harris existed? ”

“Of course not.”

“Right. Then how about you stop thinking the worst and wait it out?”

I said nothing. Not because I didn’t have more to say but because it was useless.

He’d never understand my fears. He was the almighty, powerful, King Zane Lewis.

He was the man who hissed at things he didn’t like and they magically vanished.

He snarled and got his way. He would never understand what it felt like to be afraid of the person he loved.

Afraid they’d never open their eyes and be lost forever.

Or open them and be lost a different way.

I couldn’t imagine my life without Gabe.

“I know what you’re feeling,” Zane continued.

“I doubt that.”

“Ivy was taken and almost…violated.” Zane spat the word violated like it was the foulest thing he’d ever tasted.

“When I found her I did something that exposed her to the man I am. I did not regret my actions, but I was scared as fuck she’d turn her back on me.

That she’d realize the man she loved was a monster.

I almost fucked up that day and let my fear take over.

Lucky for me I had my brother and my team at my back.

It sucks for you because right now all you have is me and I’m not good at touchy-feely shit.

I’m better at handing out condoms and bullshit advice.

So all I got for you is this; stop allowing your mind to play tricks on you.

Gabe Harris loves you and I know he does.

You know it, Evette. Don’t let your insecurities feed the madness.

He’s gonna wake up and when he does the first thing he’s gonna want to know is if you’re all right.

The two of you are going to get through this together.

So stop being a chickenshit and turn off your brain and listen to your heart. ”

Damn .

I did know he loved me. I knew it down to my soul. And Zane had one thing right. I was allowing insecurities to fuel my panic. Which was dumb, because I knew Gabe would never kick me out and tell me to leave.

“You’re wrong.”

“Evette—”

“You are good at touchy-feely advice. That is, if touchy-feely includes insults. But what you said is right. Gabe and I will get through this. But it won’t just be the two of us.”

“No, it won’t. We’ll all have your backs.”

“Thank you.”

Zane jerked his chin and smiled.

His smile was not one of glee, thus I braced for the sarcasm I knew was coming.

“Now that we got that settled, take a damn shower, woman. It’s been two days and you’re still wearing my tee. ”

I looked down at Zane’s way-too-big-for-me t-shirt and flinched. It wasn’t filthy but it wasn’t clean. What it was, was some sort of weird security blanket that had held me together since he’d grabbed it from his bag after he’d loaded Gabe into the SUV at the cabin.

Since I’d put it on, I’d clung to it. After feeling alone and vulnerable with only my bra on in the dark woods with an unconscious Gabe, Zane's t-shirt had made me feel safe. He’d found us. He’d gotten Gabe help.

“Fine. But I’m keeping the shirt,” I sassed.

I thought Zane would snicker at my stupidity but instead, he gave me an infinitely gentle look and closed his eyes.

“It’s all yours, darlin’.”

“I never thanked you—”

“There’s no need.”

And I believed that, too. Under all the weight he carried, Zane cared deeply. Maybe too much. He hid so much kindness inside of him I now understood why he acted like such a jerk.

“I see you,” I whispered.

“Come again?”

“You’ll deny it, but I see you. The man behind the mask. The one you keep behind the wall guarded by growling, biting rottweilers. I see the man you are. He’s not a monster. He’s a born hero. And just so you know, Gabe sees it, too. I would bet everyone around you knows who you really are.”

“Eve—”

“Shut up, Z, and leave so I can take a shower before my parents show up and I freak them out with how badly I smell.”

“Well, I didn’t want to point that out. But you do kinda stink. Like marsh water and rotten onions.”

I couldn’t stop my smile if I tried. Zane was an asshole and he worked hard at it.

“There she is,” Zane muttered. “Brave and beautiful. Gabe’s a lucky man.”

And with that, Zane left Gabe’s room.

I took a moment to check on my man and gently kiss his chapped lips. Then I took a much-needed shower in preparation for my parents’ arrival. Something I’d been putting out of my head so I didn’t panic about that, too.

Anaya had called them yesterday and filled them in. They immediately booked a flight to Virginia. Their arrival was imminent. And before I faced them I needed to wash off the stench of fear, sweat, and blood.