Page 21 of Full Body Hit, Part 1 (Alpha Omega Hockey #5)

“Yeah,” he replied dumbly, taking the opportunity to escape.

What the fuck was that?

Auston had probably meant that it was cute Chase had finally gotten his first NHL goal, not that Chase was cute.

He shook his head.

He had to get his shit together.

***

Chase wasn’t narcissistic enough to think that there were forces paying special attention to him, but sometimes it truly felt like the universe was laughing at him.

Chase had been pumped for his next game. He’d proved he could score goals, that he could contribute to a win—there was nothing in his way now. He was going on a scoring frenzy like the NHL had never seen.

Or, that was the plan. The reality turned out to be a brutal 5-0 shutout against their division rivals, the Houston Grizzlies.

Chase’s mom had congratulated him after his first goal. Kind of. “See? Not that hard, huh? That’s the kind of stuff you should be doing. Stay around the goal, that’s where everything happens,” she’d said, so at least there had been some kind of acknowledgment of his success. Of his improvement.

That was not the case when she called after the shutout. She didn’t even wait for him to get home, his phone ringing as he waited for Sammy in the locker room.

He stared at his phone, bones so heavy he could just sink through the floor, deeper and deeper and deeper until he reached somewhere quiet and safe where no one could reach him.

He waved at Sammy, who had done press and was just out of the shower. “Have to get this,” he lifted his phone. “Wait for you outside.”

Sammy nodded.

Chase grabbed his stuff and trailed out, accepting the call.

He didn’t get far, hiding in a nearby nook, watching people walk past as he listened to his mom explain every single thing he could have done better.

Chase knew she was trying to help. She didn’t mean to be cruel or beat him up. Her intention was for him to become the best player he could be.

But he was just…exhausted.

He thought he’d become used to the disappointment, but the goal during the previous game had resuscitated his hope. Had made it grow, green and alive, only to be cut down again.

He was fucking useless. His mom saw it, and it was only a matter of time before everybody else did.

He startled as heavy footfalls passed him. His gaze whipped up, meeting Auston’s.

The look sliced him open. Pinned him to a board, splayed open, unable to move, to breathe.

His eyes burned with shame.

Auston could see it, too, how small Chase was. How pathetic.

He shrank against the wall, hoping the Alpha wouldn’t stop. He wouldn’t be able to take another disparaging remark—especially from him.

Auston slowed down for just a tick, but he didn’t halt, the noise of his steps disappearing eventually.

Chase let out a shaky breath. He just had to get through this conversation with his mom, and he could put himself back together.

***

Chase was absolutely exhausted by the time he got to his apartment. It’d been nice to hang out with Sammy and Noah briefly, grabbing a very late dinner, but now his apartment seemed even darker and lonelier.

He had to finally let Sammy help him decorate. He wasn’t sure why he was so reluctant.

There was a text waiting for him as he sat on the couch.

Aunix

Hey, baby. How’s your day been?

Chase let his breath out slowly, feeling his shoulders sag as if his body were preparing to collapse in someone’s arms. He hated that he was always complaining to Aunix, probably making him worry, but his daddy had told him to never hold this stuff back, so he didn’t have a choice.

It was liberating not having the option of keeping these hurts to himself.

Charlie

Kind of shitty but better now that I’m talking to you

How’s your day been?

Aunix

What’s made your day shitty?

Trust Aunix to ignore the rest of that message.

Charlie

Urgh just work again

Aunix

That asshole coworker giving you trouble again?

Charlie

No actually he’s been ignoring me mostly

My work team hasn’t been doing too well on the project we’re working on and it just sucks to try so hard and fail

Aunix

Damn, you could have described my work day too

That made Chase stop short. It was stupid, but he’d imagined that his daddy did everything perfectly. That work was easy for him despite having described it as physically taxing.

Aunix

Sorry your day has been crappy, baby. It happens to the best of us, but that doesn’t make it suck any less

What do you do when you feel like this? After a tough day at work, I mean. What do you do to feel better?

Charlie

Ummmmm I dunno. Is wallowing an option?

Aunix

No, baby. Something to help you, not punish you

Charlie

Well…this is kind of silly but I used to like to nest

I know that’s only for heats but I dunno it felt good. I’d only do it for a little bit though promise

Aunix

Why only for a bit?

Charlie

I know that it’s for heats like you’re not supposed to do it all the time

Aunix

Why not?

Chase opened his mouth like he was gonna talk back instead of type, but he was stumped on both fronts. All he could do was repeat himself.

Charlie

Um because it’s for heats?

Aunix

I mean, sure, Omegas do it during heats as a biological imperative to build somewhere safe to be while they’re incapacitated

But that also makes sense for when you’re feeling sad or anxious, right? A nest is supposed to be a safe place. Nothing wrong with that

Charlie

Ok but I can’t just go off to hide every time I’m a little anxious

Aunix

I mean if you hid for long enough to not do the stuff you had to do, like eat and shower and go to work and see your friends, sure. But if it’s a form of self-care, I don’t see anything wrong with that

Chase scoffed, weirdly irritated at Aunix’s arguments, chest all tight and small.

Charlie

Do YOU nest when you’re feeling sad?

Aunix

No one ever told me I could, but now that you suggest it, yeah, I will. Thanks, baby. How about I build one here and you build one there?

Chase stared at his phone. Looked around his empty apartment. Stared at his phone again.

That wasn’t right. Aunix couldn’t build a nest—he was an Alpha .

Chase couldn’t say that, though. Actually, it felt icky just to think that. He wanted his daddy to feel good, and if a nest did that, then that was what his daddy should get.

Charlie

I don’t really have anything to nest with

Aunix

No worries, baby, I’ll send you some stuff. I’ll get myself the same and we can build some nests when we’re both free.

Stupid, ridiculous tears stung his eyes. He wasn’t crying— it didn’t count if the tears didn’t fall down his cheeks—but he felt like he was breathing deeply for the first time in a long while, as if there had been something thick and stiff caked onto his chest and it’d been knocked loose.

Charlie

Ok daddy

Thank you

Aunix

You think you can teach this old dog new tricks? We gotta make a real good nest together

Charlie

I’ll make sure you have the best nest ever

It’ll have to be pretty big though

Aunix

Big enough for two?

Chase felt his cheeks go red, squirming in place at just the notion of being all curled up in a nest with Aunix.

Charlie

Yes daddy

Big enough for two

Aunix

Good

***

The team bounced back in spectacular fashion with a 6-2 win against the Albuquerque Armadillos. It was more relief than happiness that filled Chase after the final buzzer sounded, his blood sparking with spare adrenaline, the giddiness edging on frantic.

The locker room was a disaster of shouts and cheers and roughhousing as they got ready to go out together.

“ Everybody. Captain’s orders,” Noah hollered.

No one protested—it was good to bond as a team doing something other than losing.

Chase didn’t drink a lot—not just because he was shy of twenty-one, which nobody cared about when he had plenty of teammates to buy him a drink—but because it was awful for his conditioning to get drunk often.

Which was probably why he was already tipsy two drinks in, giggling by the bar with Sammy and two strange Alphas who were pretty handsome. One of them was obviously interested, leaning towards Chase, breathing his air, complimenting his hair of all things, the most boring part about him.

The attention was nice, but it washed over him harmlessly.

Now that he had his daddy taking care of him, telling him how good he was, making him come his brains out, listening to his problems and comforting him and making him feel so, so good all the time, a good-looking Alpha at the bar just didn’t compare.

He nodded along to what the Alpha was saying, not wanting to be rude. He couldn’t help his gaze straying, though, or the way his heart stuttered when it landed on Auston.

The Alpha was sitting at a booth with some of the older guys, staring right at him.

Chase’s body went hot, then cold, then hot again, gut squirming uncomfortably like he’d just been caught doing something wrong, as if it were his daddy staring at him like that, mouth in a flat line, eyebrows all bunched together.

The sudden memory of Aunix’s chest covered in come flashed over his eyes. In truth, it could be Auston’s, they looked so alike.

Chase shook his head, forcing himself back to the conversation, trying to pick up the thread he’d left dangling, but his focus was shot.

What would it be like if he had the bravery to be in that booth instead of being flirted with by some random stranger? If he had permission to sidle up to Auston and feel his warmth? To ask him questions? To shoot the shit like two normal teammates?

How would it be if Auston had turned out to be even a fraction of what Chase had imagined? Someone safe Chase could go to when he was feeling insecure.

Then again, maybe he wouldn’t have met Aunix if that were the case. He’d have been so goddamn infatuated with Auston he wouldn’t have had eyes for anyone else.

The realisation settled his pulse, slowing his thoughts away from their frantic pace.