Page 68 of From the Ashes

Knox:

Then you can’t come.

Phoenix:

WTF? Are you serious right now?

Knox:

Yup.

I regret telling Knox that Walker and I had briefly made out. He could tell I was seriously distracted when I got to the fire station on Friday and needing to tell someone, I spilled my fucking guts.

In true Knox fashion, he told me to get my head out of my ass which just served to piss me off. He doesn’t understand what Walker will lose if we pursue this. Not to mention, I’m still trying to scale my own walls and figure out how to connect with someone again. Just because his words soothed the ache in my soul doesn’t mean I can erase the last eight years of keeping people at arm’s length.

But it’s Walker. It’s always been instinct with him…and I don’t have to work on letting him in. He’s already there.

Okay shoulder demon, enough from you.

Phoenix:

You’re an asshole.

Knox:

Never claimed to be anything else. See you both soon.

Well,fuck.

I could just not go, but of course the masochistic glutton in me wants to soak up the sun on the water with my friends and a beer…and a shirtless Walker.

I’m so fucked.

This feels like an ambush and yet, I call out to Walker who’s in the kitchen, rooting around my fridge. He was probably so nervous this morning he didn’t eat much.

“Hey, uh, Walker?”Christ, even saying his name turns me on.

“Yeah?” Even in this one short word, I can tell how much easier he’s breathing now that the meeting’s over.

“Knox and the guys are taking his boat out. You want to come along?”

He peers at me around the door. “Doyouwant me to come along?”

Oh, for fuck’s sake.

I answer him with another question. “Do you have a bathing suit?”

“Oh, uh, no,” he says, finally shutting my refrigerator once it starts beeping at him.

“It’s fine. I’ve got one you can borrow. Grab something to eat and then meet me upstairs.”

A few minutes later, I’m rooting through my drawers when Walker turns into my room, and it suddenly feels too hot. Like the fact that the two of us are in a room that also contains a bed automatically means we’re going to have sex. I pull harder thannecessary on the next drawer handle and the whole drawer falls out, nearly catching my toe in the process.

An embarrassed squeak escapes as I pluck a pair of teal swim trunks from the top of the pile and throw them at Walker. “Here.” After sliding my drawer back on the tracks, I turn to find him still standing in my room. “Well, go change. There’re no facilities at the marina.”

Pink tints his cheeks.

“I still can’t work the button on my jeans,” he reminds me.