Page 19 of From the Ashes

“Start talking,” he commands, turning the key in the ignition.

I blow out an uneven breath and try to decide what I’m comfortable divulging.

“You might as well tell me the whole fucking story, Walker, because no way in hell am I letting you enter that ring when you’re like this. You’ll get yourself killed.”

I huff a strained laugh. “Yeah, well, I’m past due.”

“The fuck is that supposed to mean?” Jonas barks.

“It means I’m a coward and I’ve messed a lot of shit up,” I answer both cryptically and truthfully. “Including my first meeting with Ph…” I can’t get it out so I pause and try again. “Especially with Phoenix.”

“Well, I can’t say you didn’t make an impression,” Jonas laughs, not understanding.

“That wasn’t the first time we met,” I correct, “but I wasn’t sure he’d remember.”

“Now that you mention it, the way his face lost color right after yours, I’d say it’s safe to assume he remembers whatever there is to remember.”

It’s cruel sometimes, how our minds work. How in the span of milliseconds, I imagined he still thinks about that night, that he’s followed my career, that he’s proud of me. Instead, Jonas breaks through my thoughts with questions I don’t want to answer.

“What the hell happened between you two?”

“Something that never should have, but neither of us could stop.”

“Jesus, you make it sound like you buried a body together,” Jonas says, driving us back toward the arena and the parking lot that will be our home from now until Sunday.

There almost was a body to bury…mine,I think to myself.

I hadn’t planned on ever seeing Phoenix again. But nowthat I have, it all comes rushing back. The way he smelled, the way he tasted, the way his fingers felt inside me. The way hiscockfelt inside me. The connection we shared and how only in those precious moments alone with him, did I feel like I could breathe.

And that brief second when his eyes were locked onto mine tonight told me I’m even more desperate for him now than I was back then.

My feelings for Phoenix make me do crazy things.

Like risk my career.

Like lose my ass virginity on the dirty floor of a barn.

Like do everything in my power to make sure I see him again since I’m already here.

It seems even after all this time, I’m no better than the broken boy I was eight years ago, and only one man can put me back together again.

Just like last time.

Chapter 10

Phoenix

This can’t be happening.

I barely have a chance to process that he’s here before he’s gone again, sprinting out the door. But I’d know those eyes anywhere, even if the body they’re attached to is much different than the last time I had my hands on him.

Speaking of, they’re still tingling from where they landed on his much-broader, much-taller shoulders, and after all this time, after beating myself up repeatedly, that fucking spark of magnetic energy is still there.

I’m exhausted. Playing the part of the outgoing playboy my friends expect has been taking its toll for a while. Mostly because at some point, it stopped being a part I played and just became who I am. But fuck if I want nothing less than to take another nameless woman back to my place only to kick her out two hours later, my dick satisfied, but my heart empty.

“Uh, sorry about that,” the guy two seats down says, apologizing for Walker. “He must’ve had more to drink than I thought.” He holds out a hand. “I’m Jonas, his coach.” Jonas nodshis head toward the door. “I was a big fan of yours back in the day. That basket case was Walker DeVille, he’s competing this week. Helluva rider despite that spastic exit. Been off his game since I made him sign up for this rodeo. Something’s got him spooked.”

I swallow hard, processing this new information as I shake Jonas’s hand.